Tag: advice

Sick Day

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am currently on a sick day from work, thanks to a canteen breakfast and a dodgy stomach. I am an awful person at being ill, there are tears, snot, moaning, all the kind of thing that makes me great to be around. Which is why I usually lock myself away when I feel rotten. Bring ill can give you a bit of a chance to do somethings that make you feel a bit better, all those things that you might not get the chance to do normally, particularly at this time of the year, where there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to do what you need.

So here’s a few things I like to do when I feel pretty rotten.

1)Watch a feel-good movie. Today I am watching Moulin Rouge, which always has cheered me up. I love the music in it, and it always gets me moving. I just love the twists on all the pop songs, and the tragic story. It’s very stereotypical for a musical, but still loads of fun. Disney movies are also very popular when I am under the weather. I think it’s because I like something where I don’t have to think to hard about. And, I seem to prefer something that I have seen loads of times, one of those films a person treasures and has owned multiple copies of in their lifetime.

2)Read a good book. Wrapped up in a duvet or spending time in the bath. If you are feeling a bit worse-for-wear, getting lost in a world so different to the the real one. I prefer books which have a plot I can get lost in. A book where I find myself addicted and reading chapter after chapter, and it takes your mind away from the awful way you feel.

3)Sleep. The best way to allow your body to recover, is to try and sleep. Spend the day in bed, wrapped up and relaxed. I remember to being told by my Mum, back when I was young, that by saving energy by not walking around, the energy can be better spent helping you get better. I have no idea whether that is true or not, but I know that I do certainly feel better after a bit longer in bed.

4)Light a few candles. If you have been sleeping, then maybe more fragrance defusers, but still the same effect. Some scents, such as lavender are very relaxing, and some believe that they could ease recoveries from mild illness. I have always found this very helpful when I have had the flu previously, as sometimes light fragrances can help ease headaches and such.

Everyone has different comforts when they are ill, but these are the main ones I use. I hope that this is the tail end of whatever bug I have got, and can then get back to normal. What about any readers, what makes you feel better when you are ill?

It’s The Little Things

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes I get so amused by the most stupid things in life. The meerkats on the TV adverts, cat videos on YouTube and bad jokes. This is something most kids have, but lose as they get older. As if maturity supposedly means that our sense of humour has to change. You can be an adult and still find fart jokes funny.

I think that being too serious can make life boring. Sometimes you need to laugh at nothing, just because you feel like it. To restrict yourself from that because you feel like you are not supposed to, seems a bit off to me. A laugh makes you feel better. A laugh can be contagious. A laugh makes you happy. A laugh can then make others feel happier. It can turn a bad day into a good day. It is certainly something that is under-estimated. Life is hard enough without people refusing to enjoy it.

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The picture above is two snails I found on my window. It is the season that snails are everywhere, and they do seem to like climbing up windows. This is something that made me giggle because it looks like they are flying. It’s little stuff like that, which makes me happy. So I try to find little funny things every day to make life a wee bit more bearable. If you have had a bad day, a wee giggle about something daft really does make it all seem a bit better.

Dear Younger Self

~ Sue ~ 2 Comments

It doesn’t matter whether some person you don’t know doesn’t like you. It doesn’t matter what they think of you, or call you when they think your back is turned. You don’t need to waste sleepless nights on people that won’t give you a second thought. Try and associate with people who like you for you, and won’t berate you to others.

Life is a bit bumpy. It is for everyone, it’s just that the bumps can be different dependent on the person. It is okay to realise that these ‘bumps’ are too big for you to deal with and you need a little help. And when you ask, you’ll find out that those around you are struggling too. By reaching out, you will make friendships stronger, rather than pushing folk away, like I know you want to. Hiding might seem easier, but it always makes problems so much worse. Asking for help is nothing to be afraid of, and there are so many things in place to help make things better to cope. You are not weak for needing assistance because you can’t deal, so go and get some.

The careers in animal care and graphic design, don’t really go to plan. Which is sad, but you kept your head up, and that is great. Not everyone gets an attempt at trying what they want to do from childhood, and you did. Okay, it didn’t go your way, but you learned from it and moved on. That takes guts and determination. Never ever lose that. It is something that most people lose as they get older. Everyone has to try new things, no matter their age, and try to follow it through as far as you can. The end result is not what matters when you remember the journey so fondly. Go you!

Just remember to always have faith in yourself, fight for what you believe in and never change for someone else. You have a lot more than you’d think.

Love Sue

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This was an extract written in one of my old journals. I thought it was a nice idea, particularly that it is a rare thing I write about myself focusing on postive things. It was a challenge I saw on some program, where if you cheer for yourself, you can feel better. And it helped me feel awesome when I wrote it, and typing it into this blog post also made me feel better. It is a tricky thing to d0, but it does help when you feel a bit low. Give it a try.

Just Do It

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

A lot of people seem to believe that good things happen to those who wait. They pray for opportunities and constantly plan for a career that is just a pipe dream.

There is nothing wrong about dreaming for a better life. Hoping for
better can get you through a tough time. But remember if you want something you have to get the wheels in motion YOURSELF. There is no point saying you want to do something, if you are just waiting for things to happen without taking any steps yourself.

Do your self a favour and start making things happen. They more you do, the more things will change.

Aches And Pains

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When I tell people I haven’t been to the doctor in a long time, they question my intelligence. They don’t understand why a person wouldn’t want to get help. I try to explain why, and I feel stupid. I feel like a child who is not wanting to go to school because they have forgotten their homework. When, in reality, it is nothing like that.

Let me explain, last year I sprained my Achilles’ tendon, and was told it would take up to 3 months to heal. I hurt it going down the stairs at work, and within a day, it had swollen up like a golf ball. I went to the hospital, and advised of the recovery time mentioned above. After some research when I got home, I read that a quick recovery was based on an average person working in an office. I kind of banged my head off the wall at this. I work in a warehouse, and can be on my feet over 11 hours a day. So, it’s safe to say, my recovery hasn’t gone as quickly as I’d prefer. In fact, after a day of work, I am almost always limping about my house.

I should have really gone to the doctor after the initial 3 month period (start of the year). This is when another problem comes into the fray. I struggle with anxiety. I get panicked at what should be normal things, like getting on a bus. I over think things, and end up talking myself out of doing something. Going to the doctor is a prime example. I am in pain a lot, but I think that someone else is more deserving of the doctors time. I feel like I am a ‘bother’, and just annoy people around me.

Trying to explain anxiety to someone who hasn’t had it, is hard. It’s hard to explain what happens, because people want to know why. I wish I knew why I feel like I do. I get panicked about a situation, I don’t really know why, so I panic more.

There is a positive change. I have an appointment for the Doctors tomorrow. Sometime that I was encouraged to do by my work. I feel like I am falling apart, but also trying to get it in my head that asking for help isn’t the worst thing. It’s a constant battle in my head, it’s not nice.

Mis-information

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

One of the most irritating things is when someone tells you the wrong information in a bit to make a sale. This happens a lot, in a society where businesses want every penny they can. Every time you watch TV or open the newspaper there are advertisements everywhere. Companies fighting each other to gain a consumer’s attention. To get their money. This should be great for consumers. Get the best deals as the companies compete for customers. But it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes corners get cut, and the customer gets mislead, or feels let down.

As said previously, I sold my old phone through a mobile phone site, mainly because they did the best deal for my phone. They promised a quick turnaround and the money will go straight to my bank within days of recieving my phone. It sounded too good to be true. Well, they offered me £120 for an iPhone 4S and I was thrilled. So sent it away, and waited for a result. They said they phone had water damage, as had a ‘water damage’ indicator on the inside. Being me, I trust the company and was disappointed, when they offered me £90 instead, I accepted it. After all, that was the general price every other company was offering me. 4 days later, I am still waiting for anything about payment, and I’m getting frustrated. So, I googled the company and read a few reviews. This should have been something I did first. Many of the reviewers had experiences like mine. Where perfect handsets were voiced as having ‘water damage’. Phones that had been previously tested as undamaged, fail when they go to this company. So the company then drops the price, down to the level that other companies are offering to pay for your device. It has the appearance of a con, to get people in with higher than normal offers for devices, just decrease it.

After working in customer services previously, I feel that I should point out that people NEED TO read their terms in conditions. They are usually a tiny font, or available at the bottom of a website. You should always read these conditions BEFORE you agree to anything. If you agree to something, and it comes up later in your dealings with a company, you will be in the wrong. Never ever sign or agree to anything you don’t read. If you don’t read everything, you have nowhere to turn if it all goes wrong.

Feeling Good

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Feeling very good and motivated about myself this week. And as such, I have taken the route of preparing a few posts in advance. This is something that has worked for me before on Tumblr. As I found that I am experiencing fits of inspiration at the moment. Which is great when I have days that I want to do everything and feel so motivated. But then, as the week drags on, I just want to watch TV and not deal with anything. I become lazy, and nothing gets done. And it is the same every week. So, as I have been feeling motivated, I thought I would try and use the queue post feature.

As said before, this is a technique I employ regularly on Tumblr, when I want to post loads, but also don’t want to bombard people with my useless ramblings. So, I write my heart out for 2/3 posts, on various topics, and schedule them to post on different days. Whilst, to some people it is considered a cheats way to blogging regular, I think it is an essential tool if you have a busy life. It means you can relax knowing that your blog is being updated regular, and you are not stressing about creating different content. Because if I do blog when I am work, it tends to be the same old piece moping about my shitty mental health issues. Which is necessary sometimes, but it gives a rather one dimensional view of myself. Something I don’t like. I do care about what kind of image I portray through this blog and other avenues, and I think that poor planning is why it has fallen a bit flat.

Hopefully if I can set out certain days for doing certain things, I will get more time to do what I want to. Because, all that happens is that I look at all the stuff on my ‘to-do’ list and freak out. It seems an unmanageable amount of stuff to do. But, by focusing a few hours or so on doing a few bits at a time, I can focus completely on another task. And it makes me feel oddly in control of things, rather than things being in control of me. I wonder, if other people use queue-type techniques when it comes to posting online, and whether you think it helps with your work load.

Time Filled With Joy

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Life, is hard. A lot harder than what they told us in school. Which is a strange concept, when every teenager assumes High School is the hardest thing that they will ever experience. The forced human contact with people you don’t like, doing classes you don’t want to and being stopped from visiting the toilet outwith break times. As a student, I always felt victimised when I was at school, and I know I wasn’t alone.

But now, in adulthood, I have gone through many jobs, and realised that my feelings from school were mis-judged. School’s purpose is to teach you what you could use in adulthood. Yes, the subjects may not all relate to adult life, but the structure of High School does. In every job you are going to have to get on with people you don’t like, do jobs you don’t want to do, and work to a strict schedule. That is a part of life, and one of the most important lessons, is to do all this and still be happy.

To keep myself in a positive state of mind, I try to do little things that make me happy, particularly on days where I think I’m going to be stressed. I read a book, play Xbox, write a blog, watch a movie or just have a bath. I try to fill my downtime with things that make me happy. This coping mechanism seems to make everyday life a bit easier to deal with. Which is what life is about, in my point of view. Finding ways to deal with the hard stuff the world can throw at you. Something that helps make working a job you hate, worth it.

So, on this Tuesday evening, I hope that you remember what makes you happy, and go do it. Do it because it makes you smile. Do it because it is fun. Do it because it makes you end a bad day on a high. And do this every day. Maybe different thing on a different day, and don’t let the negativity of your professional situation spoil your life. You deserve to be happy.

Stay Away!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Sometimes it is easier to close the doors, rather than letting the world in to see and judge the inner workings of your life. If a person is having problems with their own life, the last thing they feel they need is someone else putting in their own ‘two cents’ on the situation. Or something worse, you are told there ‘is no situation’. Which means, whatever you are unhappy about is not worth being unhappy about. I mean, who has the right to say what makes another person happy or sad?

But by keeping the outside world out, all that happens is you ‘bury the head in the sand’. And for a short time, maybe it seems to work. No one to question your behaviour, or asking ‘how you are’, and no lies need told to cover up your distress. You can work, and be a ‘strong person’, you can pass off the appearance that everything is okay. And the only reason that those around you, think you are okay is because you don’t let them close enough to see anything different.

This doesn’t solve any problems though. The feelings of anguish, and whatever caused the issue, are more than likely, still there. So all you have done is make it harder to talk to people, as you begin to see yourself as a burden. They have been happy without you sharing, so why worry them with your mess?
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I act like this a lot. It seems easier to put my problems into a ‘no go’ area of my mind when it comes to talking to friends, in a bid to become normal. But, there is no such thing as ‘normal’, every person has their little flaws and positives. Nobody has an ‘easy life’ it is just the perception you can get as a by-stander. Some people can hide certain things from some, but they will have someone that they’ll confide in.

I have ‘locked people out’ and it has just made it harder find reason enough to turn to someone. It has left me alone with my problems. That’s where the Internet has come into play, it has been a place where I can talk through my issues without feeling I am being a burden. It maybe is not the best way to cope, but it has helped me think about my life in a healthier way than bottling it up.

What about you? Do you try to keep your issues to yourself? How do you cope if things get harder?

Lies That Exist About Unemployment

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been unemployed now for the longest period of my life. It is depressing and lonely, where no matter how much effort you make, you are still labelled a useless leach of society.  When I was employed, I was one of the masses who rendered the people who couldn’t find a job as ‘useless’ for not finding a job. I would curse them for having barbecues when I had to sit in a overheated call centre on a Saturday. I had decided that there were thousands of jobs available, people were just lazy for not finding one.

Since I have been unemployed, I have sent away over 200 applications for jobs ranging from cleaner to office administrator to retail assistant. I have had 4 interviews. One I was refused because of poor credit score. Second broke data protection when selling things to customers, it didn’t feel legit, and the company self-employed you, so, I gather, that they can just wash their hands of you when you get caught. Third and forth didn’t bother to contact me back after my interview, which is just darned rude. So, in a bid to lift the lid on unemployment, I’d thought I’d make a few points.

1. Job Centre is there to help. 

Whilst fortnightly appointments to the job centre is supposed to aide you in finding employment, it can sometimes have the opposite effect. Every attendee to the Job Centre gets appointed an advisor, who will overview their job search and give advice. Which is excellent. But, you see that personal advisor maybe once every 2 months. The rest of the time you just get ‘signed in’ by a random advisor. This person doesn’t care about what you do, and seems to judge you on everything that you say. Makes you feel like dirt, obviously because you are not registered to that particular advisor, but they should still do their job. It makes you feel worse than dirt, when the person supposed to help you, has the most unhelpful manner there could be.

2. Register with agencies.

This depends on what field you want employment in, but for office work and customer services, agencies are useless. I have registered with 8 agencies, I have got nowhere with anything. The process I am familiar with is that you give your CV to an agency, and they check to see if you have the correct skills for the vacancies that they are looking to fill, and if you do, they place you on their list of suitable applicants. So, I, on advice of the job centre, registered with these 8 agencies. Since doing this in  February, I have had 10 vacancies forwarded to me. 9 ignored me, and one told me that the vacancy was filled. So this, despite being viewed as a good way to gain employment, has been useless. And when I hear that this is supposed to be a great way to find temporary work and I get nothing, I feel a little useless.

3.Apply For Everything, You Will Get An Answer

One answer from all your applications, maybe.  I have lost count of the applications that I have sent away, and not even got a note of receipt as a response. It is like most of the applications that I send away just get sucked up by a black hole. You could be sending them to a wrong email address, the vacancy could be filled, there could be a problem with the application form, and you would never know. Whilst I know that it could be impossible to send every applicant a personal letter, an automated email with ‘if successful we’ll contact you within 14 days’ would be good. It costs nothing for someone to arrange, and lets the applicant know that their application has been received. But that is not standard practice, so be prepared for the majority of your applications to go no further.

4. Unemployed People Sit Around And Do Nothing.

I have worked since I was 16. This past 5 months has driven me crazy. It is the first time I have not been either in education or employment since I was tiny.  I need to go and do things. I can’t just sit and watch mind-numbing TV. I go and spend part of my day looking for work, I try to do something creative, like draw or write, and then I go outside for a walk. Trying to keep busy stops me from going stir-crazy, because I stress myself out enough because I can’t find anything. I don’t do drugs, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink that much, but yet these things are classed as the main pastimes of the unemployed. I have been offered getting a flat and housing benefit. Having never claimed before, I didn’t want to take any more money than necessary, as I can and do live with my parents. I do feel like I am treading on their toes a bit, but I’d rather be uncomfortable than try to get as much handouts as I can. If I want out, I will find a job and rent a place myself. And that has become the mantra that keeps me moving.

It’s exhausting, the whole searching for work. To interview well, I have believed that you have to envision that you are the best person for the job, so that you can sell your qualities and things. The problem with that, is that you may think that you will definitely get the job, and when you don’t, it can bruise your ego. It has mine. I haven’t looked for a job for over 6 years, I was employed so I didn’t need to. In that 6 years, the job market has changed dramatically, and people will look for any reason to turn you down. And, it feels like you have to battle against a tidal wave, to try and get a job.  And my opinion has changed so much. So before workers berate the unemployed, consider the facts above, and try to put yourself in their shoes. The unemployed are people too, no matter how much you want to separate yourself from them.