Expectations?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When I tell people I like to blog a lot some have asked me about ‘outfits of the day’. I am gathering this is such a ‘hot topic’ because it seems like every female blogger talks about fashion and what they are wearing. Which is fine, but I feel that it has been expected for every female to run their blog like a fashion blog. That isn’t true, and shouldn’t be.

Everyone is different and if they run a blog, they should do so because it matters to them. There is no point trying to force something just because it is on trend. Yes, it could garner attention for a blog, but the chance of the blog being updated when it isn’t about something of interest is not likely. It sucks the fun right out of something, if someone is forced to talk about something they have no interest in.

Fashion is very popular for a reason, it is a good way to express yourself, I get it. I just have never focused on fashion. I dress to be comfortable, and that is pretty much jeans and a t-shirt. And I don’t see the big deal. I don’t wear make-up, I don’t buy much clothes, i don’t get my nails done… I just don’t subscribe to the ‘beauty lifestyle’. I never have. I have been a tomboy my whole life, and I don’t see that changing. I believe in substance over style. Not that there is anything wrong with being into fashion and things. I just express myself in different ways.

Bad Day?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Everyone has those days. Those days where you just want to hide in your bed and forget the world exists.

I have a lot of bad days, and I am trying to find the best way to deal with them. Because if something bad happens, it weighs on my mind and bothers me for weeks afterwords. When you go through periods of bad days, it can be tiring when your mind just replays what happened.

A suggestion was that a new day is a new opportunity. Forget what happened yesterday as you can’t change what happened. What you can do, is strive to make tomorrow better. That is sometimes all you can try and do, aim to be better

Set Topic

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been on the internet a lot, just browsing various websites and blogs. It appears that there is this mass unappreciation of any audience on the internet. By tying a blog into a particular topic, you become part of a particular community, and you get more page views and subscribers as a result. If a particular movie or game gets a new release, and you frequently blog about it, you will get more views. And if you post frequently, you will get more visitors from being a part of that online community. This is something great, that communities and fandoms are helping to create and promote content amongst one another. You make friends on other websites, you get ‘shout outs’ and promotion to other people that share your interest.

And as a solo blogger, I look at these blogs in awe. I have random interests, that peak and wain every now and then, and what I post relates to that. I love writing what is on my mind, as I started blogging for me, and documenting my life. I really don’t want to heavily promote other people’s products, just because I have blocked myself into writing about certain things. I know, from my own experience, that I don’t have the momentum to stay on the same topic too long, as I have so many things rushing around in my brain. So it would be more likely if I had one thing to post about, that my blog would die. And that would be a very sad thing. To me.

I still get excited over every view my blog gets. That someone even thought to glance at what I have created. It may be one or two people, but it matters to me. Although, I did start this blog for myself, it is nice to think that someone likes what I write. Even if it is just one post. Maybe I like this style of blogging, because I don’t feel I am selling a product to someone. I mean, if I see a movie or hear an album I like, I may promote it, I just don’t feel I could do it constantly. And, call me crazy, but when a company starts giving you free products to review, it’s only so you can play sales person. There is no impartiality, which there needs to be in any review. Same when people get too involved with fan communities, you can pass the mark of being impartial, and it can impair judgement. It turns into how well you promote a thing, rather than appreciating that someone read what you created.

Those are just my thoughts, though.

Happy 5th birthday

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

3rd of May 2009 was the day I logged started an account on WordPress. A lot has happened in that 5 years and over 500 posts, and, in my usual form, I missed the actual day. So this is a belated celebration.

The original idea of this blog was to document my life as a graphic designer, something that kind of went a bit wrong. I still aspire to get paid for creating things one day, but if it ends up with being a hobby, I think I’m okay with it. I have also ended up loving writing a lot more than I did originally. I have documented a lot of my thoughts and feelings into posts, and as a result I have grown rather fond of this place.

I have been able to speak my mind, and say things in a way they matter to me. That is something that is rather liberating, and a luxury that not everyone can have. I am thankful to have a place where I can write my thoughts so freely. Blogging is something I’d advise every person to do, it’s a great way to release pressure.
It has helped me through a lot.

Oops

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It’s easy to fall behind in things. Get to absorbed in a part of your life, that you forget something. That happened with blogging this week, as I have been so pre-occupied with other things.

But it’s okay. People do forget things.
It’s part of our nature, and it is certainly not anything to feel ashamed about. This is something that I need to tell myself over and over, that it is okay to forget things every now and then. I have a habit of berating myself when I don’t do something. And I make myself feel so bad that I actually don’t do that thing again for a while. That’s what has happened before. I make myself feel so bad, that I don’t want to blog again.

But not this time. I have been trying to change a few things that I do, so that I am not quite so negative, or panicky. It doesn’t sound like much, but by changing small things gradually, it can hopefully make a big change. So by not beating myself up at every mid-step, I can focus on the actual activities themselves, and enjoy it more. Because fear of failure is the main reason i don’t do something.

And I’ll tell you what, I certainly feel better writing about stuff, than I do beating myself up over a mistake. Maybe I can transfer this to other parts of my life?

Just Do It

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

A lot of people seem to believe that good things happen to those who wait. They pray for opportunities and constantly plan for a career that is just a pipe dream.

There is nothing wrong about dreaming for a better life. Hoping for
better can get you through a tough time. But remember if you want something you have to get the wheels in motion YOURSELF. There is no point saying you want to do something, if you are just waiting for things to happen without taking any steps yourself.

Do your self a favour and start making things happen. They more you do, the more things will change.

Aches And Pains

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When I tell people I haven’t been to the doctor in a long time, they question my intelligence. They don’t understand why a person wouldn’t want to get help. I try to explain why, and I feel stupid. I feel like a child who is not wanting to go to school because they have forgotten their homework. When, in reality, it is nothing like that.

Let me explain, last year I sprained my Achilles’ tendon, and was told it would take up to 3 months to heal. I hurt it going down the stairs at work, and within a day, it had swollen up like a golf ball. I went to the hospital, and advised of the recovery time mentioned above. After some research when I got home, I read that a quick recovery was based on an average person working in an office. I kind of banged my head off the wall at this. I work in a warehouse, and can be on my feet over 11 hours a day. So, it’s safe to say, my recovery hasn’t gone as quickly as I’d prefer. In fact, after a day of work, I am almost always limping about my house.

I should have really gone to the doctor after the initial 3 month period (start of the year). This is when another problem comes into the fray. I struggle with anxiety. I get panicked at what should be normal things, like getting on a bus. I over think things, and end up talking myself out of doing something. Going to the doctor is a prime example. I am in pain a lot, but I think that someone else is more deserving of the doctors time. I feel like I am a ‘bother’, and just annoy people around me.

Trying to explain anxiety to someone who hasn’t had it, is hard. It’s hard to explain what happens, because people want to know why. I wish I knew why I feel like I do. I get panicked about a situation, I don’t really know why, so I panic more.

There is a positive change. I have an appointment for the Doctors tomorrow. Sometime that I was encouraged to do by my work. I feel like I am falling apart, but also trying to get it in my head that asking for help isn’t the worst thing. It’s a constant battle in my head, it’s not nice.

Proud?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Over 1 week of continuous blogging. How good am I?

This blog is proof that a little planning goes a long way, as I think I have only sat down at the computer for 2 days of writing. I have wrote about what was on my mind, or about something I’ve enjoyed. The best thing is, because posts are being written 2 or 3 at a time, it is different topics that are being written about. And that spurns me on because I feel like I am talking about different things, and it becomes easier to write.

This motivation has been great, and as such I have started drawing again. Nothing special, just a few doodles. It has always been something that relaxes me, so to have the drive to do it is awesome. It makes me feel a lot less anxious about stuff. That is something that is always a good thing.

Mis-information

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

One of the most irritating things is when someone tells you the wrong information in a bit to make a sale. This happens a lot, in a society where businesses want every penny they can. Every time you watch TV or open the newspaper there are advertisements everywhere. Companies fighting each other to gain a consumer’s attention. To get their money. This should be great for consumers. Get the best deals as the companies compete for customers. But it doesn’t always happen like that. Sometimes corners get cut, and the customer gets mislead, or feels let down.

As said previously, I sold my old phone through a mobile phone site, mainly because they did the best deal for my phone. They promised a quick turnaround and the money will go straight to my bank within days of recieving my phone. It sounded too good to be true. Well, they offered me £120 for an iPhone 4S and I was thrilled. So sent it away, and waited for a result. They said they phone had water damage, as had a ‘water damage’ indicator on the inside. Being me, I trust the company and was disappointed, when they offered me £90 instead, I accepted it. After all, that was the general price every other company was offering me. 4 days later, I am still waiting for anything about payment, and I’m getting frustrated. So, I googled the company and read a few reviews. This should have been something I did first. Many of the reviewers had experiences like mine. Where perfect handsets were voiced as having ‘water damage’. Phones that had been previously tested as undamaged, fail when they go to this company. So the company then drops the price, down to the level that other companies are offering to pay for your device. It has the appearance of a con, to get people in with higher than normal offers for devices, just decrease it.

After working in customer services previously, I feel that I should point out that people NEED TO read their terms in conditions. They are usually a tiny font, or available at the bottom of a website. You should always read these conditions BEFORE you agree to anything. If you agree to something, and it comes up later in your dealings with a company, you will be in the wrong. Never ever sign or agree to anything you don’t read. If you don’t read everything, you have nowhere to turn if it all goes wrong.

The Loner Life

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I feel like I have always been a bit of a loner. I like my own company a
lot, rather than having to deal with people. That sounds really selfish, but it isn’t because I don’t like people. It’s because I feel like I ruin people’s free time and things. It’s part of my anxiety disorder, behaviours I had as a child, which have became worse as I’ve got older. I feel like I am a bore, so I don’t bother meeting with them, so that they can continue with their lives rather than being dragged down by me. And it totally stresses me out.

So as a result, I spend a lot of time on my own. Reading, listening to music, watching movies, browsing the internet. I do things, but things that don’t involve actual contact with other people. That way I don’t feel guilty. Because that happens way too often. I feel like I am a bit of a shit person, and that people will get angry when they find that out. So sometimes I panic, as my brain anticipates that I am going to make someone angry. I can have sleepless nights over whether I’ve said something that could have offended someone. I can panic over not having the right change when getting on the bus.

Sometimes it is best just to be alone and not having to panic. It’s actually pretty good to not having my brain run 100% miles an hour.