Happy Blog Is Happy

I have no idea how long it has been since I spent an evening with iTunes on shuffle and editing on Photoshop. Reminds me of my college days, rushing to get things finished till 2am, for a deadline the next morning. Thinking about it, that is possibly why things didn’t go as smoothly as intended.

I have been more motivated. Keeping myself motivated on  the job application front, which is hard considering you can be lucky to get 1 reply for every 20 applications sent off.  So, as you can gather, not a lot of positivity in that front. But trying to keep my head up, by throwing myself back into things that I haven’t done for so long. Like regular photographs, more blogging, making videos, drawing and re-familiarising myself with Photoshop again. It is unbelievable how much you forget, when you aren’t using it all the time. I mean, it took me over 15 minutes to remember how to find and use my custom brushes. Obviously, the fact that I am an idiot did not help that situation, at all.

I don’t know if it comes across, but I am the happiest I have been in so long. It is like I have found a part of myself that has been missing for so long, and it is great to have it back.  And I am making the best of it whilst it is here. I have been so depressed by everything around me for so long, that it has failed to inspire me to do anything. So, I have a list of things that I want to do, so I am working on that. First thing was a change of logo/header across all my internet doings, and also syncing a few things together. I am excited for the future, for the first time in years. It’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

 

Speaking Your Mind

I have always had the belief that everyone should be able to speak their mind. That every discussion needs a pro and con side. And that by doing so, people should take all sources in account when considering what opinion to have on something.

This, however, is not always the case. People could form an opinion because of one thing someone said. They read a particular newspaper, and believe their propaganda to be fact, rather than being paid by some lobby. This is the United Kingdom, people’s views aren’t that as radical or as ill-judged as some in other countries. Or are they?

Throughout history, people have craved conflict. In the worst case senario, war and fighting can break out. This is something that can bring the people of a country together as the strive to get some kind of comradery to try and keep people strong. In the UK, this last happened in World War 2, when our country was in direct attack. Towns and cities were being attacked by Nazi bombing, and communities had to band together, to stay strong and rebuild communities after the War. People were pushed into co-operating with one another.

We are currently experiencing one of the longest peacetimes on British soil, and the need to band together is not really a requirement to exist anymore. People still want something to fight for, so start supporting various causes. This, fantastically, should bring some things into discussion, and make changes. But, as time goes on, people can start to look negatively about their personal situation, and get frustrated that their views do not get represented fully. They may start to band together with those who have similar points of view to themselves, and get could get pushed towards causes that they maybe never considered before. But the need for unity, and being heard, begins to cause conflict with other causes. People look for the differences in one another, rather than seeing why we are so similar.

The more frustrated people get, the more they want to change people’s views so that they can make the changes that they want. The frustration grows, and conflict becomes more and more common. People protest, the fascist right wing groups start to gain momentum, as the government struggles to keep a calm. Situations may arise like the Scottish Independence Referendum, where frustrated people want to change something, to try and better the situation for them and others. But all facts may not be considered, as people get more passionate and less considerate. They say what they say, and f**k anyone who doesn’t agree.

In the battle to get a fair society for all, the perception of what is ‘fair’ changes from person to person. To some, protection of the Church and Christian ethics are an important part of the laws of the land. To others, religion shouldn’t be a part of any government, and things such as marriage should be available to all people, regardless of sexual orientation. These two opposing view points are something that should be discussed calmly.

But increasingly, what people are being dictated to, in what to think. If someone believe’s in God, and feels homosexuality is wrong, shouldn’t he be safe to say his opinion? I don’t believe religion is necessary in government, as I believe some of the ‘rules’ can be out of date, should I not say that for fear of retaliation? How about another example, we allow a Iraqi family to come to the UK and live, they do and their kids go through our school system and become productive members of society. That’s great, isn’t it? They then learn about UK soldiers bombing Iraqi civillians, do they not have a right to speak out against the country that accepts them as inhabitants, and at the same time kills their countrymen? Surely they do. But these people will get told to leave the UK, for not supporting our troups. They work and pay taxes as much as the rest of us, shouldn’t they be able to speak their mind as much as their neighbours?

And that is the problem with free speech and speaking your mind. It is never really free to some. The efforts to stiffle those who speak more unsavoury thoughts, is painting an untrue picture of public opinion. If you let pro-choice people demonstrate, let pro-life too. Free speech in any society should allow people to share the opinions, without fear of retribution.

I know I have talked about this a lot reccently, but I am seeing it a lot in the media around me. And it is something that dwells on my mind a lot, because I feel I can say what I want, but that is because I have quite liberal leanings, but what about those who have more conservative views? I think increasingly those with conservative views are hushed into silence for being not so politically correct.

Its All A Reaction

Everything effects everything else.

People don’t want to admit it, or they fail to acknowlege it. I have no idea why, but when you are at a loss at life in general, this can have a calming effect. That, what you are experiencing is simply a reaction from something else.

The world looks washed out and dark, when there are grey overcast skys. When a person cries, they may feel a sense of clarity that only comes from being highly emotional. They are all reactions. I have started to think of my periods of sadness, as just reactions. Something that happens. It doesn’t happen because I am stupid or faulty. It happens because I am human, and we have the ability to get crazy emotions over anything.

I have depression that I carry with me every day. But, I don’t want it analysed and for me to demeaned over it. I want it to be shrugged off as a way that I react, and I want to be treated normal. So my brain reacts to things different that some people, doesn’t change anything. And thinking like that helps me deal.

The Internet is Public

I am writing this entry from my local library because my home internet is dead, and my phone is not allowing me to post updates. Instead of complaining, I am going to try and say what a different things, like free internet, does for communities.

When I was at school internet was slow and expensive, hence I never had it. The local council started to invest in computers, to provide people with the internet, who couldn’t afford it. They did this by equipting most local libraries with PCs. It gave so many people the access to a whole world that they couldn’t see before. They could send emails, apply for jobs, shop online and learn about so many things.

Since I first used these library computers 15 years ago, my home got broadband, and a laptop that works (kinda). The local library, which once housed 2 computers, now has 12. The library runs classes to help people get to grip with computers and the internet. Allow pensioners send emails to relatives who live on the other side of the world. And, people who struggle with unemployment, get help on how to apply for jobs or type up a CV. It’s made computers so much accessible. You no longer need to spend a fortune on a PC and a home broadband connection.

I remember when I was at school, there was a few internet cafes that opened. Where you would paid £5 for an hour of computer access. Obviously, times have changed, the government helped. You can now rent public computers for an hour a time, and all you need is a library card. I think this is awesome, but I don’t know how widespread this is. My local council is Fife Council, and they have made it a priority to make computers and the internet accessible to all local residents, for free.

It’s times like this, where I take stock, and am thankful for where I live. And it isn’t just because my own technology is so tempermental.

Absent Minded

It is easy to forget something, when you don’t deal with it at all. I haven’t been on-line much. Which is a bit of a lie, I was on sites like twitter, but they are updated through my phone. And whilst I do have a wordpress app on my phone, I am not a big fan of typing for long periods of time on the wee keyboard thing. It irritates my hands, to be typing on something so small. Bet not many people have that problem. -.-

So this leads to me waiting till I either have enough time at lunch to write an entry, or wait till I go home. And I don’t use my laptop a lot right now, mostly because of its faulty power cable. So, as a result, I haven’t been blogging very much. Any blogging I do, seems to be just apologetic ramblings about why I haven’t posted. This is my own fault.

Whilst I don’t think I’ll ever stop blogging, I feel that if I am not in the frame of mind, I won’t do it. And I don’t like filling this blog with empty promises. But hopefully change is coming, and it’s going to start with a new banner design. 🙂 Maybe.

Weekend Worker.

For all of my working days, since starting at a bakery aged 16, I have had to accept working weekends. Because I have spent most of my days in some form of education, working weekends was the easiest way to get extra money. And even when I got away from working just weekends, I had moved on to working evenings with a Saturday once a month. Now, I am contracted to work Tuesday to Saturday. Which sounds painful, but it is not as bad as I ever thought it would be.

Working weekends is something that most workers have to accept as part of their job. And because of this, the sense of a standard ‘working week’ is becoming more unusual. The majority of people I know don’t work 9-5, and life works around that. With the change in the working week, people need to be more forgiving with friends and family when planning events. I have seen friendships end pointlessly because someone is stuck at work with no time off. It’s sad, because it isn’t exactly someone’s fault if they can’t get a holiday.

But with banks having 24 hour phone lines and supermarkets being open all day everyday, the world no longer stops at 5pm. It’s getting harder to switch off from everything seeing as it doesn’t stop. It’s hard remembering that every so often, it’s good to step back and enjoy what time off you do get.

Cheers for that.

So, technology has decided to fight against me in my daily battles. It is irritating. I have attempted to post two entries before this one, and they both failed miserably.

It’s bad enough I am coming to the realisation that this blog a day thing isn’t preparing me for NaNoWriMo, as I expected. And now I have this overwhelming sense of impending doom. I think what the issue is that I try to post up to 300 words a post. Which is fine, when I remember I have to post. But then my thoughts turn to NaNoWriMo, and I realise that all the wordage of a weeks worth of blogging, doesn’t even hit the daily average I need to write in November, of 1,500 words.

That has me panicking whilst November is still so far away. -.- Well, a matter of weeks away. 3 weeks. Maybe I should focus on the number of days, as the higher number fools my brain into thinking I have more time.

The things people do.

Recommended Ap: Word To Go

I am typing this up on Word To Go, for Blackberry. I have to say it is a very smooth application, and is really coming in handy with all the blogs and scripts and things I need to write.

The text is very clear, and is a relatively good size, which is awesome, seeing as a lot of apps have very small writing as standard. Which can make using it rather difficult, because you need to go and edit things before you even start writing. The main reason I am trying a word processor on my phone is because I felt it would be better in that sometimes writing things online or through another app, can sometime lead to things being slow. Also, a lot of other applications don’t have a great spell check. This has an awesome one, so it means when I post something, it is at least written correctly.

I also got this app to help prepare for video blogs. I have recently been trying to find away to script my vlogs on the go, as I haven’t been spending a lot of time on my PC. I guess, I thought it would be nice to write down ideas, as I got them, because I have a habit of forgetting things. So I acknowledge something is a good idea, and then I forget about it. Which is not the best way to work.

Word To Go is installed in most Blackberry smart phones as well as apps similar to Excel and Power Point. It is great having these applications to hand. When you first access the software, you are given the chance to edit existing files or to upgrade to premium so that you can create new files through your phone. That premium edition costs a one off fee of around £8.00 and is available at http://www.dataviz.com/handheld/products/documentstogo/blackberry/index.html.

Rushed

I’m at work, on my break.
Been so busy, like unbelievably busy.
The good thing is that busy = fast when working. And if it is taking me a day closer to the weekend, I’ll take it.

Highlight of a rather dull day was probably making fun of my sister’s Wii-ner. Yeah, busy times. But the dull slowness was kicked out of the park when I came into work. -.-

‘Almost weekend’ is becoming my mantra right now.