Category: news

Guilty of feeling bad

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Right now, it feels like every time you read the paper or watch a news broadcast, something else horrible is happening in the world. Innocent people are dying every day. And it is awful.

It can be difficult to relate to. I,for example, feel unbelievably guilty. I have my fair share of physical and mental health issues, and a lot of times it is hard to even hard to get dressed, never mind do something productive. But I watch the news, see the suffering of others who are much worse off than me. It starts the internal berating of myself, where I feel inadequate that I seem to have a lot, but I can’t deal. People have it worse. Someone said that at work today, to me. I didn’t offer a reply, but in my head, it reinforced the belief I was building up about myself.

It doesn’t make for a happy life. It makes every day feel like it’s double the length. My anxiety flares because i feel so guilty and unworthy, it causes my stomach to become unsettled so that every meal I eat, ends up in the sewerage system. It stops me from sleeping, I feel that if I can’t appreciate and enjoy my life, then maybe I shouldn’t wake up in the morning.

But, when in a calmer state, I realise everything I do is completely irrelevant to whatever disaster is in the news. Now, that sounds awful. But bear with me. My anxiety comes in different flavours. Sometimes my brain makes me feel unimportant, and sometimes it makes me feel responsible for EVERYTHING. So, the days where I feel hopeless, I try to break tasks down, like if I don’t process this task, a customer won’t get their refund. It is a small thing, but makes me feel I have a purpose.

When I am a bit more calm, like I am now, I can be logical. I can think of a way round my issues. But when anxiety hits, logic is furthest from my mind. I have donated to charities for the Manchester attack, the Grenfell Tower fire, and many others. Sometimes, feeling like I tried to give something helps calm my anxiety. But if you are struggling with current affairs and are feeling guilty or just questioning your place in the world, sometimes the best thing to do is to not constantly watch the news. I watch half an hour a day, and that’s it.

Don’t allow your mental health to bully you into feeling guilty for something you have nothing to do with. Which is hard, I know. You can also try to speak (or ramble online, like I do) about what you are feeling. If you are having a hard time health-wise, nothing should be-little what you are going through. And if someone tries to, ignore them. Look after yourself and those close to you.

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If you need mental health help visit The Samaritans

Donate to the Grenfell Tower fire fund, this situation is still ongoing, and the death toll is expected to rise. red cross appeal

Media Hate Mongering

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

If you know me personally, I love to think that I can try to get on with everyone. I feel that every person has to have some good in them. Every person is someone’s child, sibling or parent, no different from myself in that way. Despite what people say about it being a deluded way to live my life, I find it comforting that every person has the same internal core. They have the same feelings, it is just that they may think a different way.

This has come to my head today, after the recent outpouring of negativity about Josie Cunningham, who went to the press reporting that she’d abort her 19 week pregancy to get on Big Brother. As mentioned in the article, Josie has previously caused anger because of her £4,600 boob job she got out of the NHS. People hated this young woman, and some even sent her death threats, which in the current world of anonymous led social media, is no longer unusual. Now, as it is publicised that she is having a very late abortion, for a TV show, she is back to getting death threats and blind hatred from people who nothing about her apart from the headlines seen in tabloids.

There is so much about this that makes me uncomfortable. First, how a young woman is made into a public hate figure by opertunist PR companies, namely one called Celebrity Culture, who represent Ms Cunningham. Who describe themselves as:-

Unlike many other companies, we embrace the new age of Celebrity and work closely with national media to raise clients profiles and maximising earning potential… We pride ourselves in attracting national and international media attention and gaining visibility for our clients with the public via various mediums including tabloids, magazines, Tv, Radio and various forms of social media and cyber based platforms.

So, how much of this is controlled by the PR company? Because they certainly have ‘gained visability’ for Ms Cunningham. And the media, working with this PR company, have created this buzz around a making an idea of a person who is as horrible as possible. Because, you don’t need to browse very far in the world of online media, to find another woman rolled out to be as offensive as possible. Why? Because women bitch about other women, women hate on other women, women like to think they are better than other women. That is not remotely true for a lot, but noone hates on women like other women. I have this image in my head of all the male new paper executives and PR company managers getting together to find women to promote that would just offend people.

It is how women are portrayed in the media. That if they do not fit into a certain criteria, then they are considered as scum. And this is considered unacceptable. The fact that a newspaper and PR company sell a young woman down the river, to the point people are threatening her children. Maybe she looks at the Glamour models of Zoo, Nuts and Page 3 and wants that life at all costs, because, to her, it is portrayed as a great job. Which I imagine for some girls it does seem that way. By flashing your body, you can get everything your heart desires. Which is what these magazines and such want. Young girls, who want little else than fame, because it is the most promoted ‘industry’ in modern society. Particularly because over the last several years, people are becoming famous for hitting headlines, and getting attention. And Ms Cunningham is certainly doing both of those, and I wonder if she even needs Big Brother anymore. That is, if she is fine with being a Katie Hopkins style hate figure. Some who is rolled out from time to time, to create anger amongst the general public. Something to serve a distraction against the normal news. The Daily Mail, sister paper of the Mail on Sunday (original article publisher), has paid a reporter to con a foodbank out of food, to say how easy it was, which has been ignored by the celebrity obsessed masses. And that is all you need to know about the state of society. The fact that a company, has possibly tactically, posted an offensive wannabe story days before that of trying to badmouth a charity that saves so many families.

Is it right that people are allowed to become so disenfranchised about our media, that after some thought I am wondering whether Ms Cunningham is even pregnant. The fact that it can be twisted into a ‘news story’, to anger and garner publicity on the Ms Cunningham, the news paper and even Big Brother, is a bit sickening. Although Ms Cunningham is the topic of discussion, how much of this is within her control?

Come On DA

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I really enjoy watching sport, and can sit through most, but football is my favourite. Soccer to some, football to most, it is the sport that I grew up watching. So when my local, and favourite, team Dunfermline Athletic started having financial problems last season, I became concerned. Then when the club was given a wind-up order over an unpaid tax bill, and entered administration, it would not be melodramatic to say that my heart broke. This big feature of my hometown could be gone, 128 years of history gone because a few people mis-managed the club.

Over the last few months, a consortium of Pars fans and local business professionals formed a group called Pars United. The aim of this group was to bring the club back into the care of the community, so that the club could be run open and honestly, instead of directors and chairmen hiding behind closed doors. Pars United raised funds from local businesses, Pars fans and the community of West Fife, to help run the club, and try to gather a bid to take over. At the start of the summer, Dunfermline’s administrator, BDO, announced Pars United as the preferred bidder for the club. The next thing to do was to make an arrangement to who the club owed moneys of around £10 million to.

To do this a Company Voluntary Agreement (CVA) was to be created, and pitched to the clubs creditors. This would be an agreement that the club would pay a certain amount of the money back, rather than the full amount ( such as 1p in the £). For the CVA to pass, and for Pars United to start managing the club, 75% of the creditors had to agree to the CVA on Tuesday 30th July 2013.

Now whilst the actual voting is not been made public, the vote in agreement for the CVA was ‘overwhelming’. Meaning the club won’t get liquidated, and that the players and the club has a way forward, and are a step closer to being out of administration. Whilst it is great news for the club, it has been a big action by all the business effected by the clubs debt. A lot of local businesses lost out on a lot of money. But they agreed that the possible income brought about by having a football club in Dunfermline was of greater importance. And I, and every other Dunfermline fan, do not have the words to say how grateful we are that these people helped our club secure a future.

A lot of things had been put on hold whilst the CVA was sorted out. Namely the squad line-up and pictures, seemingly menial things the club would have normally done over the summer break. So Tuesday afternoon, after the CVA vote announcement, the squad had a picture day, and the offical squad list was released.  The picture of the squad is below, and you can sense the joy of the boys that have a season to look forward to.

dafc201314

The 2013/14 squad are Alex Whittle (Midfielder)
Allan Smith (Striker)
Andrew Geggan (Midfielder)
Blair Henderson (Striker)
Callum Morris (Defender)
Christopher Kane (Midfielder)
Craig Dargo (Striker)
Declan O’Kane
Faissal El Bakhtaoui (Striker)
Ivan D’Angelo (Midfielder)
John Potter (Defender)
Joshua Falkingham (Midfielder)
Kerr Young (Defender)
Lewis Spence (Midfielder)
Lewis Martin (Defender)
Michal Hrivnak (Goalkeeper)
Ross Drummond (Defender)
Ross Millen (Defender)
Ryan Goodfellow (Goalkeeper)
Ryan Ferguson
Ryan Scully (Goalkeeper)–on loan from Partick Thistle
Ryan Thomson (Midfielder)
Ryan Wallace (Midfielder)
Ryan Williamson
Shaun Byrne (Midfielder)
Stephen Husband (Midfielder)
*Now the clubs future is secured, there are reports of players getting added via loans from other clubs*

If you can’t tell, I am over the moon. It has been the hardest year I have ever had as a sports fan, and would not wish this on anyone. Dunfermline would not be the same without the Pars, so thank you to everyone who helped this club work towards its 129th year.

Triggered

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

Recently, popular British entertainer, Stephen Fry mentioned during a podcast that he had tried to kill himself last year. The actor, writer and comedian suffers from bi-polar, and is president of mental health charity, Mind.

This is a brave thing for anyone to admit, and is proof that mental health issues aren’t restricted to any particular type of person. A big problem with mental illness is that it is not something that can be cured, or will simply go away. It is something that sufferers have to live with and adapt to. People who have never suffered from mental illness, will comment that a suicide attempt is ‘selfish’ or want to know the reasons behind it. All that this shows is a mis-understanding of mental health problems.

The admission of having problems, by Mr Fry, is something courageous and helpful to so many people. Sometimes, it is hard to picture yourself as a success, if you suffer from any mental illness, because it can be hard to predict how you are going to feel and act on any given day. So the idea that someone very successful in their chosen field whilst having a mental illness is very comforting.

What isn’t comforting is the negative commentary. People who have never suffered saying it is irresponsible to talk about suicide. But speaking about suicide is not a trigger to a lot of people. Speaking negatively and frowning upon it can be. As a person who has both self-harm and considered suicide, if I hear people telling that what I am feeling is wrong, I punish myself more. I don’t know why I feel what I feel, and I can’t explain it. So to have someone marking me down because they feel negatively towards me because I once tried to overdose (I passed out for a few hours). The feeling that I felt after waking up, will stay with me forever.

I think that anything that can bring mental health into a forum for discussion is great. I do think that people need to think about commenting negatively about such a topic, though. I know that if I read someone bad mouthing depression, it can trigger my own feelings. I believe the negative comments, that I have a lot in my life, why should I feel bad? In honesty what a person owns, has nothing to do with it. But I go through the tiring process of hating myself, because my depression and anxiety seems so falsified, because others have it so much worse than me. When I get in that frame of mind, I could cry, I could scratch myself raw or cut myself. Because it punishes me for being so privileged and having the stupidity to be depressed. I deserve to be punished for ‘choosing’ to be a burden.

In all honesty, if I had a way to choose the way I was, I assure you that I wouldn’t feel this. And that is what non-sufferers need to understand. It is not a choice, it is not based on anything in life, people suffer mental health issues, because it is an illness. There may be a chemical imbalance in their brain, or something scarred them as a kid, it could even be passed down from relatives. It could be anything, and can happen to anyone. As a person who sees negative commentary as triggers, I find those who demean Mr Fry’s admission as thoughtless cowards.

I know it is the internet, but it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t hold a certain level of respect for one another.

Hating the Beautiful?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Yesterday an uproar was caused by yet another Daily Mail article. This time, 41 year old, Samantha Brick, complains the trials and tribulations about being beautiful. She claims other women hate her because of it, but she gets what ever she wants and people should be happy for her. That is a pretty vague idea, but to read the article, just employ Google to search for the article in question.

Now I do not think for a second that Ms Brick is a bad person, just a little shallow. She has today posted an article where she doesn’t understand why people are hating her and calling her ugly. If you are going to write a couple hundred words on how pretty you are, then it doesn’t take much brain power that people will call you ugly. It is trolling on the Internet, it is what happens when people can hide anonymously and give out hate. To post opinions anywhere, you need to have a thick skin, because people will attack what you say. And the reaction given by Ms Brick, to say that she has been proven right, is not dealing with trolls, but feeding them.

People are annoyed because pretty people can flirt their way through anything, it seems. And that is the picture Ms Brick paints of herself. She gets free meals, free drinks, free everything, something that if she was just getting on with her day, wouldn’t happen. To anyone. But she flirts her way through life, where others have to work to get what they want. People who pay for every drink, are nice to everyone but get nowhere. In walks a long legged blonde, who whispers in the bosses ear and gets a promotion. THAT is the world most women live in. That is why people can’t feel sorry for Ms Brick. I mean, no paper would publish a story by a banker who says he has too much money would they? It would cause a riot because so many people live month to month on nothing.

As a girl who has worked extremely hard for everything I have, it does grate on me when people moan about getting things for free. And more people are in the same situation than me, than are in one as Ms Brick. Which is why people feel the need to lash out, for making it seem that hard working normality is wrong. It puts woman’s rights back several decades, when someone gets treated like she’s special, just because of a pretty face. And because of all this, I am not surprised that Ms Brick gets met with hostility.

There are plenty of people like Ms Brick, and they aren’t bad people. The bad people are the ones who allowed the story go to press. The headline chasing Daily Mail does this a lot. Uses writers to whip up a storm, and provide cheap promotion. She is just a tool, something that the mail will throw to the side once the drama dies down. The have got an article and a front page story out of the self centred rambling, which would have a better place in a private blog. The Daily Mail KNEW Ms Brick would be lynched for what she wrote, and they published it anyway. The Daily Mail is a worse publication than the Daily Star. At least the Star is knowingly filled with rubbish, the Mail seems to be sensationalist rubbish, pretending to be a proper paper.

I hope Ms Brick realises she was set up, and gains some perspective on what has happened. She will lose her looks, but her bad attitude will stay.