Sick of it All

A couple of weeks ago, I had an assessment due for my University course. I am studying IT, and the assessment included programming a website, and a report on said website. It was something I put entire days into, so that I could be happy with any result. As calm as I seemed to be, I was internally in a ‘bit of a state’. But, I was able to submit on time, so it was okay on that front. However, because I was so hyper focused on it, I wasn’t able to rest whilst doing the assessment. So for days, was thinking about it constantly, at work, watching tv, in bed… I couldn’t switch off. So when I had submitted, my body could relax. This meant, I picked up a bug. And by the end of the week, I had a cough.

This cough got worse, making my physically sick, as well as causing a temperature. So I laid low for the weekend, planning on returning to work as normal on Wednesday. I went to work, but still had a hideous cough. The problem was, I was supposed to be training people, which meant a lot of talking. I could do very little talking, so I had to ‘call in sick’. I didn’t want to, I had slept so little that I actually ended up crying over letting people down. That is a major trigger for my anxiety, letting people down. I want to be reliable, and I can’t help but feel rotten when I have to miss something .

I am sitting here, in my house, over a week later, and still having a horrific cough. It means I can’t sleep. It means I can’t eat full meals as I am sick. It’s not a nice situation to be in. I spend my days scrolling through TikTok, where I quickly picked up that there seems to be a lot of cold/flu virus floating around. Lot’s of people seem to be getting sick. Whilst that doesn’t make me feel any better, it eases my anxiety slightly as other folk are taking a while to recover too.

The worry I do have, is that my medication for my rheumatoid arthritis lowers your immune system. So, I am worried that I’ll pick up every bug going, and become sick a lot this winter. I just have to keep taking multi-vitamins, make sure I dress well, and carry a mask around if I see anyone with a cough. I have to be very careful, as the winter has only just begun.

I’m counting down the days till Spring, already.

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