Life sometimes gets busy. As Christmas approaches, I find myself busier and busier. This time of year is expensive, and I have to put in more hours in at the day job just to afford it. This means, that I have less time to do what I want to do.
At the moment, I am working 55 hour weeks, which is a lot. When I finish work in the evening, I struggle to find the motivation to do anything other than watching tv. But, when I am that exhausted, I find it hard to fit in anything useful. I don’t even browse the internet as much as I used to, I just can’t be bothered. And, it has reached the stage, where I am annoying myself.
But, as I try to get used to working such heavy hours, I need to remind myself not to be too harsh. Lots of people struggle to find a happy balance between work and life. It is only natural, for other things to slip when your focus is set on a certain aspect of your life. And thinking that helps me feel less guilty, because I do feel guilty. I feel guilty for not doing more of what I love. I sometimes feel that by not doing all I want, I am committing some huge disservice to myself.
I guess I have to do what I do best, and resort to lists to help me out. I need to think about what i need to do, and schedule it a time for the activity to be done. Which sounds a little bonkers, but maybe it’s the only way to utilise any free time that I have. Because as relaxing as soaps and cups of tea are, they don’t make me feel better about keeping up with my hobbies and things. I have a need to be creative on some kind of level. Even if it is just whining, like this.