Constant Struggle

These last few days have been greeted with tears of frustration and over-thinking. I feel like I am always a prisioner within my depressed state of mind, with a sentence which has no timescale. Without an end in sight, it is difficult to be productive at all. And it seems to come as a downward spiral. I feel bad about something, then feel bad for feeling bad, and even worse for crying about it. It’s never ending. Or so you can believe.

By filling my time with distractions, I have been given a good sense of perspective. I have watched movies, read books and listened to music, to help get me out of my depressed state. Sometime’s all you need is something to take your mind on to something different. Such as planning a ‘big adventure’ or achieving something on your ‘bucket list’. Something that helps give life meaning, and put the control back into your hands.

There is a serenity that comes from not being so depressed. When low, my mind seems to go into overdrive, set on making me feel worse with every passing second. So, when I have been distracted successfully, my mind slows down. I calm down and relax. Unfortunately it always seems to be a short term thing, and soon the self-doubt comes back. But by working on how to get out of my states of depression, I can control it better myself.

But this is a work in progress. It isn’t easy. In fact, there are times where it is so hard, that I find myself so close to the edge, that I could end it all in a second. And when you get to that stage, it can seem impossible to imagine any way out. But, I honestly believe that if you give your mind something else to focus on, you will slowly step away from the edge.

If you are still reading to this point, and this ramble seems familiar to you and what you go through, then I have a message for you. You are alive today, and that makes you a successful person, no matter what anyone says. So anything that you do today, will just make you even better. Hold your head up high.

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