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Life, as it frequently tends to remind us, is very hard. Yes, the struggles may be different for different people, but they are still struggles. And every person will deal with those hard things different. If you don’t harm anyone, there is no right or wrong way to deal with problems that come our in direction.
It is hard, but it is believed by some, that nothing worth doing, comes easy. So, if things get hard, it’s okay. If you have to work hard for something, it is only then that you will fully appreciate it. But sometimes, you can find yourself working hard for something, and you don’t achieve what you set out to do. It might be a test, a new job or even getting fitter, it can be almost everything. And failing is a horrible feeling, but it is a feeling that everyone has to deal with.
How do you even begin to deal with failure? Myself, I don’t deal a lot of the time, I do the whole panic/ cry/ meltdown, kind of thing. But when I think back, at the school classes failed or the jobs I didn’t get, I just plodded on. A lot of the time, I just adjusted my plan. Sometimes, you can want something, and start the journey towards that goal, but there is no way to get there. Life sometimes, gets in the way like that. People like to make excuses, like ‘if it wasn’t for this thing that happened, I would have done such-and-such’. I don’t like that. As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror, and say ‘I gave it everything’, you have nothing to feel bad about. In fact, if things did get in the way, but you tried as hard as you could at the time, you also have nothing to feel bad about.
You have to do your best what ever comes your way. No matter what it is. Because if you have that ‘try hard’ mentality, you will succeed in something. It may take a while, and it might be nothing like you originally planned, but you will get there.
What happens after you achieve something that you have been working towards for a long time?
It sounds like a silly question, but it is something I have been thinking about. I have been a person who likes lists to work through. I very rarely finish all the tasks listed, but it is a handy way figure out what you need to do. But sometimes, the same task can sit on my to-do list for weeks at a time. It usually is because the task has a lot of work to do as part of it, and sometimes, I am simply too lazy. Actually, that is most of the time. I’d rather watch anime or read a book, especially when it comes to things such as housework.
But, once in a blue moon, I actually focus and do the task I have been needing to do for ages. And, when I get started, I am stubborn enough to get finished. But, when it is done, there is like a strange feeling. Because this thing that has been on my mind for so long, is suddenly gone. It doesn’t need to be dealt with anymore. It is quite a calming feeling to be honest, which is good. As a naturally anxious person, anything that can keep me calm is a good thing.
But… I never learn. I feel the good feeling of achieving something, but I still have the habit of procrastinating when other things need to be done. I annoy myself sometimes.
I am bad at saving things for later. Be it food, money, or in today’s case, holiday hours from work. If I get an idea in my head to use something, then I’ll use it. I don’t seem to be able to keep anything till later. At all.
So today, I was to be in work, and I had a total headache. So rather that force myself in to work, I took an ’emergency holiday’. The hours used for that holiday are set aside so that if you need to use them, the holiday is automatically approved. It’s a good idea. But you only get 10 hours every 3 months. Ideally, you hold on to those hours, and use them for a proper emergency, where you might need to leave work early or something. But, I used it within the first week of getting it.
I had always decided that I was going to bail shift early, for the Dunfermline and Raith Rovers game, it was a derby game. I don’t get to go to many games, as I usually work on a Saturday.
But Dunfermline won, which makes me happy, and makes it worth the time off. Life should include doing what makes you happy, right?
I have been off work for the last week. Needed some time away from work, which everyone needs at some point. I had a week of catching up with friends, and enjoying not having an alarm go off at 5.30am.
But, as with every holiday, the week went too fast, and today was my first day back at work. Back to where I was before I went away. Which is a bit stressy, to be honest. Recently I have been working in a different department with a brand new process. And I am finding that it is triggering my anxiety something awful. Before I went away on holiday, I was having to head to the toilet several times a day, because I was panicking. Which is not nice. It is embarrassing.
I do power through and do my best, but it’s really draining. And today, it felt like I was just back to the same place again. All that relaxing, and i still get worked up over nothing.
I am trying to push myself. I will get to where I need to, but like anything, it takes time. I just have to be patient and not give up. Which, is rather tempting. But nope, got to hustle and get shit done. Own the situation properly.
Today I went to The Scottish Deer Centre, which is a wildlife park by Cupar in Fife. The park hosts 12 types of deer, as well as wolves, Scottish Wildcat and Northern Lynx. A lot of the animals used to live in the wild in Scotland, but as things have changed, they are no longer present.
I have always been funny about zoos and the like, especially when the animals are kept in tiny enclosures. But that didn’t seem to be the case here. There is a whole ‘buy food pellets for the deer’ thing I really wasn’t sure of. I always think animals should be better in the wild. But maybe I should look into it more, and see what problems the wildlife in this country are experiencing. I mean it’s all fine and well repopulating a species for an area, if the problems in that area aren’t fixed. Because all that is going to happen, is that some animals will be released all in vain. Which is horrible.
The whole park, I believe, is a converted Farm. So all the buildings, like the gift shop and the indoor play area, are all part of the original farm. Inside the play area, local schools have decorated the walls with murals of animals found at the park. It gives the idea that the park is a part of the community, which is nice. Although, with some areas peeling, maybe the the idea could be re-done.