Head In Sand

Recently I haven’t been sharing at all. Which is not like me, but it’s hard when you are dealing with something that you’d rather not be dealing with.

Unfortunately, life is not that kind. I have been sick, had a major crash with my mental health, had course work due in and the busiest time of the year for the ol’ day job. And it all kind of left me functioning, but that was it. I didn’t want to talk about it, still don’t, because I didn’t want to think about how much stuff was happening all at once. It’s kind of calmed down a little, my coursework is done and Christmas is a week a way, which means no overtime. And it’s allowing me a little time to reflect on why I burrowed myself away from the internet.

For years the internet was where I could let my feelings go, where I could write about stuff that no one cared about. It was very therapeutic and it was completely disconnected from my real life. However, every day there seems to be more merging of both my private life and the one I talk about on line. People who I know in real life, are able to access what I am writing.

Now, this doesn’t seem like a huge problem for some, as they see things being made public, and surely it doesn’t matter who reads it. But… that’s not really how it goes. In my life, I try to put a smile on as I soldier on through whatever the day throws at me. Inside, I may be falling apart, but I don’t want people to see it. I always feel like my mental health issues makes me a burden on others, so I don’t want them to know. That way people don’t feel pressured into being nice, they are being nice because they want to, not because I’m not right in the head. And when these people I share my daily life with can read what I really feel, I feel like I have let them down. I mean, surely I should be able to talk to folk, right?

So, sometimes it is easier to bury my head in the sand. Pretend things are okay, when they aren’t. It’s not perfect. But, it can get me through times where I don’t have the strength to deal with questions about things that I don’t know how to put into words. That’s what writing helps me do, sometimes, put what’s in my head into words that (kind of) make sense.

It’s A Very, Very Mad World

The world is a wide and varied place. It is filled with people, trying to make things better for their fellow man. However, there is also a lot of utter bastards to counter the good. Sometimes, it feels like all we see is the bad.

Sometimes it’s easy to be overwhelmed in the tragedies that unfold every day around the world. Innocent people dying in the cruelest ways. School buses blown up in Syria, a music concert in the UK, hospitals in Indonesia, lone women in India, gay people in Chechnya… The list is endless. Most of this hatred is brought on by a sense of entitlement and an intolerance of others. And it is horrible. What is a normal person to do? How are we supposed to feel when others act so horrifically?

I don’t think there is an answer. A lot of the time all we can do is watch the news reports and read articles online. You may sign a petition, or donate to a foundation just to help. To get a sense you are doing something. Anything.

You may be unable to do anything about events in any of the headlines you will read today, tomorrow or any day to come. The world feels cold and dark. But, you can try and take that darkness away. Even just for those around you. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while. Introduce yourself to your next door neighbour, or invite a lonely neighbour round for tea. Go visit relatives. Use social media to send good wishes to those who you might not talk to very much. Smile at the person who serves you your morning coffee.

As clawing as negativity can be, positivity is contagious. I know not everything will be sunshine and rainbows, but a lot of people are emotionally struggling in life. It shouldn’t take tragedy to bring people together, but it also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t. Terrorism is something which wants to tear people apart. To split society into fractions, fractions that disagree and fight amongst themselves.

Let’s not let that happen. Let’s share love and togetherness instead of hate and intolerance. ❤️

Over Whelmed

The world NEVER switches off. No matter what time of day it is where you are, it is ‘rush hour’ somewhere. 

It is something that used to amaze me when I was younger. That when I was asleep, people where at school, having meals and working away. When you get to that realisation, it opens you up to thinking about a world outside your own personal ‘bubble’. There is a whole new world full of different behaviours, thoughts and lifestyles out there that we can be completely oblivious happen to. 

Even as an adult, the idea that there are communities completely different to the one I grew up in, has the capacity to freak me out a little. It’s not that I am feeling weird about people having a different way of living than me, it is the sheer scale of the variety that is out there. It’s just that there are so many cultures in the world, that people spend their whole lives trying to learn about. And then, these cultures, they all have their own history, which is another lifetime worth of studies worth. 

I think it can seem a bit over whelming when you think that nobody knows everything about the world. It makes me feel rather insignificant. Which is not as negative as it seems. As well as making the successes in life seem immaterial in the grand scheme of things, it also makes the failures seem super-small. As a person who mostly focuses on the negative things in her life, the fact that it is so tiny and irrelevant in regards to global events, it sometimes makes me feel better. That people make it through worse than I do every day, so maybe I can do something about my life.

It staggers me sometimes, that I get overwhelmed with my life, and nothing of value really happens there. I couldn’t imagine if I had to control a country or something on a global scale, because I don’t know if my wee bubble will expand enough to let everything in that needs to be there. I stress out organising my own life, imagine organising life for thousands or even millions of people?

Conclusion: with my organisational skills, it is best that I stay single and shout at Paris Gellar on my ipad as I watch yet another episode of Gilmore Girls. That I can deal with. Not Paris, she annoys me in a way that I can only express as love to hate her. And, yes, I know that she is a fictional character. She provides my bubble world with a villain, where the hero is Yoshi who drives his stupid Kart slower than everyone else. No matter how much I press that ‘A’ button, he doesn’t go any faster. There is a metaphor for my life in there somewhere. 

Flattening of The World (basic)

I am in the midst of reading a book called The World Is Flat, by journalist Thomas L Friedman. It is a book on how globalisation has flattened the world as we know it.

I know that, as an initial concept, most people think, but the world is round, Christopher Columbus was wrong. But I am not talking about how the world is geographically shaped. I am talking about how people and businesses can work freely, on a levelled out playing field. This does seem rather bizarre at first thoughts, because every country operates individually, no matter where it is in the world. Before the days of high speed internet connections and outsourcing, this maybe was true, but not so any more.

Internet connections meant that people could communicate with anyone, no matter where they are. Send someone an email, and within 5 seconds they have received it. To understand how this happened, you need to know more about the history of the internet, something which I may cover at a later date, but not right now. Billions of pounds was spent on running cabling from country to country, so that the world became interconnect, hence it being dubbed the World Wide Web. This connected people together from all corners of the world. You can be sitting in your house in Glasgow, and playing Call of Duty through your X Box with someone in Australia. It is crazy, when you think how easy it is to now contact people. Especially when we think of the little bubble of communication people had before the internet. Before it was free to talk to people all over the world and share ideas. People began to learn how others lived, and realised that maybe people weren’t all that different.

As well as allowing people to become closer to others, the internet also became a major assets to companies. Initially, in the early days of the internet, companies were able to put several computers and offices on networks, where they could easily transfer information from one place to another. It was more cost effective than physically sending the information to the required person, and it was easy to manage. As the internet became more wide-spread, more commercial, more global, rather than just communicate between offices, companies were able to communicate with people in other countries in the same way. This lead to countries like India and China being used to complete work for Western companies, for a cheaper rate than what would be paid in their home country. Everything from manufacturing to remedial accounting was outsourced. Whilst there has been a lot of negativity about outsourcing, in that it is giving away work to other countries, etc., it is not entirely negative. When a British company opens up a 24 hour customer service line, it may be a financial struggle, due to the fact that UK based workers would require extra pay for working ‘unsociable hours’. So by getting in contact with an international outsource agency, in say Bangalore, they can hire workers to work these ‘unsociable hours’ without costing too much money. This saving allows the company to expand in other areas, and focus it’s local workers on more taxing tasks, where the people abroad get the remedial work. To a company, that means they can get more out of their staff, and get their money to work for them more.

It also has educated people in countries where outsourcing is popular, so that they can start working for themselves. So it actually becomes beneficial for their country. And in manufacturing, where US and European companies send products to be made in China, the Chinese learn how to successfully manufacture, and can then do it themselves. They can then create their own companies, which can compete with their Western counterparts.

It is giving more people the same opportunities. It is levelling out the world. No longer is the West were the power is, where the best manufacturing is. At the moment countries like America and the UK are the designers, soon, very soon, it will be China and India doing the designing, and what will we do then. I don’t know if the Western world is ready for such a shift in power.

Sue’s Interweb World

Youtube and Tumblr. I seem to be living on those sites right now. I have got so many Vloggies to catch up on. :SIf you want to know where else I live on the interwebs—-

Youtube for Vlogs http://youtube.com/user/riotgraphics

Tumblr for randomz http://riotgraphics.tumblr.com

Twitter for verbal diarrhoea http://twitter.com/SueRiotGraphics

Livejournal for fanfics and whinging http://representgc.livejournal.com

DeviantART for arty stuffs http://riot-graphics.deviantart.com

And I frequent many forums including Paramore.net, GC.com, punkrockers.com and viewaskew.com.

Anyone is more than welcome to add me on any site I go on. I talk to everyone