Tag: work

Aye, sound…

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I saw this prompt and had to write something. Mostly, because most of the entries I read, relating to this post, were about music or something of that ilk. I read ‘sound’, and thought of the title above. Where I live, Fife in Scotland, sound is used to mean ‘awesome’ or ‘cool’. I don’t think this slang exclusive to Scotland, as I have heard it ‘down south’, in England.

I work with people from all over Europe, and very frequently, the slang gets very confusing for them. Which I feel bad about, purely because I know that I could never move to another country and speak fluently in another language. Sometimes it is like I can’t even speak English properly, myself, so I don’t know how I’d get on trying to have a working understanding of another language. I remember at school, I took French, and whilst I wasn’t the best, I felt I had a working understanding of the language. I got the chance to go to the French-speaking part of Switzerland, and well… I fared as well as I would have, if I hadn’t  studied French at all. It made me realise how fortunate I am, living in a country where English is my main language, but I also realised it made me very lazy. Like, people go abroad, and expect other countries to understand English, when in fact, we should be trying to speak their language.

But the thing is, it isn’t just ‘learning a language’, really. Every region of the world has its own local dialects of their main language, and that dialect may often include slang words. Which takes me back to the start of this… via a very long detour. Slang can be confusing, and here, in the Kingdom of Fife, we have a lot of it. So I thought I would give a few definitions, in case you ever find yourself in Scotland, and get a bit lost in the conversation.

Aye- Yes

Awfy- Awful

Baffies- Slippers

Bawbag- An utter arsehole

Boak (ie- ‘you’re giving the the boak)- Dry heave/ something is disgusting

Braw- Beautiful

Grass- A tell-tale

Dingy- Ignore

Dunderheed- Idiot

Eejit- Idiot

Fitbaw- Football

Feart- Scared

Gammie (ie- ‘I’ve got a gammie leg)- Sore/ lame

Greet- Cry

Hawd- Hold

Howfin’- Smelly

Mawkit/ manky- Dirty

Mince (ie- ‘You’re speaking utter mince’)- Rubbish/ crap

Neebur- Neighbour/ friend

Pished- Drunk

Pure (ie- ‘that’s pure brilliant’)- very/ totally

Scooby- Clue

Scran- Food

Squint- Not Straight

Tube- Idiot

Wean- Child

Wee- Little

Some people hate slang, but I find it great. It adds personality to language, and makes it unique where ever you go. So many areas of the world speak English, but there is slang and local changes where-ever the language is spoken, be it Texas, USA or Manchester, England. There is so much variation, something that is really great. But can also be a pain if trying to speak that language.

via Daily Prompt: Sound

The Best Time

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It’s been one of those weeks. A slow week, where time just seems to progress so slowly, that time seems to go backwards occasionally.

The only thing about getting through a slow week, is the relief when that working week is over. As soon as you walk out the doors of your work, it can be good knowing that moment is the longest possible time before you have to go back.

It’s not that I hate my work, I actually do enjoy it. Great people, the job can be varied and it is a way to pay the bills. However, having a period of free time ahead of you is better than working. Yes, everyone knows it. Unless you are one of the lucky few, who works their ‘dream job’. But i don’t. I work in a warehouse. It’s surprising that I find it good. No grumpy customers, no sales incentives, it is nice.

But the weekend is here. And that is time to visit friends. Go to the gym. Spend time with family. Just do the things that make me happy. And that is a requirement.

Running On Empty

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I.Am. Exhausted.

And when I get like this, I can be like ‘a bear with a sore head’. Which is a bit annoying, when I have had a really good mental health week, apart from today. I am nipping at people, and have absolutely no focus on anything, and it is all because I had 2 hours sleep last night.

I will not go into the reason why I got hardly any sleep, but it happened. And it has seen a bit of a bad turn happen. I have been crying at work and had a panic attack in the toilet. I just felt so tired, and the only thing running was my mind. It was a really hard day. Actual work was okay, but 10 hours on nothing is hard. I just wanted to sleep.

Now it’s done though. And whilst I could still sleep for the whole weekend, I got through it. Barely. But I did. And getting through a bad, does make me feel better. Well, I’m still exhausted, but I don’t feel as useless. It would have been easy to phone in sick, or go home early, but I didn’t. That is a good thing.

Although, I may pass out completely when I do eventually get to my bed.

Push it!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It’s very easy to sit back and do nothing. Too easy sometimes. It can be hard to do anything at all. Those days where I stare at a messy room or an empty page, and I can’t will myself to do anything about it. Honestly, it can be very easy, at this point, to just cut your losses and give up.

But don’t do that.

Keep trying. You don’t have to continue stuck, staring at what you need to do. You are stuck there, try something else. I personally find going for a walk helps, but anything that takes you away from the situation.

Come back at it with a fresh mind, and hopefully you can go at again. This time you may do it. If not, try again later. The important thing is not to give up. That’s never the answer.

Working Weekend

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Everything always I want to do always happens at the weekend. When I say weekend, I mean a Friday or Saturday night. The nights where people want to party, and I want to go to bed after working during the day. Sometimes I find myself wishing for a normal weekend, just for a little chance to go to the football and enjoy a normal weekend.

I have always worked weekends. Whether it be working in a shop, call center, or warehouse (all they job types I’ve really had), I always have had to work a Saturday. And I am not alone, a lot of the people I know are the same. The weekend has become part of the working week. Whilst it can be highly annoying, a lot of the time it’s okay. Because you work some or all of your weekend, usually that means that your days off will just fall on other days of the week. The job I am in just now, for example, I work long days Wednesday to Saturday. Whilst that means that yes, I do miss the football and sometimes I am too tired to go out on a Saturday night (getting old, btw), it also means I am off Sunday to Tuesday. A 3 day weekend. It is good, because I get all my contracted hours done in as few days as possible, and if I want to work extra, I still get 2 days off.

There are good things about having your ‘weekend’ during the week. It is so much quieter, especially when the schools are in. I can go to Starbucks, and relax with a book, without kids throwing their rubbish at one another. Seriously, that is a pet hate of mine, going somewhere to relax and finding it filled with noisy distractions. Makes me wish that McDonald’s was still open in the town, because that is where all the kids used to go. I mean, if I wanted my days off to be filled with screaming kids, I would have had one of my own.

Anyway, as I said the shops are quieter during a normal weekday, and the gym is quieter. Seeing as going to the gym regular, has been a major boost to my mental health, I really like going on my days off. It helps me sweat out any of those anxieties that have built up over the week. But, again, if it is too busy, and I cant do my normal rotation of exercises, I get unnecessarily peeved off. Especially when I want on a treadmill, and 4 girls are standing on the remaining ones talking crap about someone. And if high school kids are in the gym, they have have the worst habit of not washing down the equipment after use. I mean noone wants to touch someone else’s sweat. That is just gross.

I think, that for all the cons there are for working the weekend, there are a lot of positives. But in this current climate, I sometimes need to remind myself how lucky I am to have a full time job at all. A lot of people have to work 2 or 3 part-time jobs for the hours I get with one. So maybe the days that you have off, actually don’t matter, that you get days off at all. Nobody can work 24/7.

Busy Bee

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Everyone has those times, where you get so busy and hectic, that you get completely overwhelmed. It is something that happens to me regularly, and I find that it can really trigger my anxiety. I start losing my temper, start panicking, I overheat and I get upset. The worst feeling is, that I get the idea in my head that I am only overwhelmed because I am useless. A good person, who could actually do things properly, would never have got so worked up about it. And, thinking like that, can start a cycle of demeaning myself, and feeling worse and worse.

These days, I know that if I power through, things will calm down, and with that, my anxiety will subside. And then, I can just focus on my job again. Which is such a relief. Whilst it is good to know that I can get through being overwhelmed, it is frustrating that it still happens so regularly. Anxiety, for me, feels like I lose control of my emotions, something that adds to the feeling of intensity. It is exhausting.

Although people who see me get worked up might disagree, I am slowly getting better at dealing with this. I try to simply focus on what task is directly in front of me. Usually panic attacks come on, because I see all the work I have to do, and I feel bad that the pile is ever-growing. And that pile of work, is just a badge of dishonour, letting the world know that I can’t cope. In a calm mind, I know that a work list getting bigger, is not necessarily an indication on my abilities, more the situation which is outwith my control.

Usually, at home, listening to music or a walk in the fresh air, work as tactics to get away from any panic I feel rising. So I can go off on my own, collect my thoughts, and come back and attack tasks with a fresher mind. But, in situations not at home, none of these solutions are possible. If I can stay focused on my task, sometimes I can just focus on what I am doing, and blank out everything else. But that isn’t always possible either. I have tried to hum or sing to myself when I get into situations that can trigger my anxiety. That can help. But, I get nervous of someone judging me for singing a silly Disney song. I am trying to get over that.

Not so long ago, if I was busy and got overwhelmed, I would just leave the situation completely. That sometimes meant leaving work early or cancelling on friends. I don’t do that anymore. I do push through it. I just need to deal better with what happens when I have to work through stuff. But, that takes time.

The Journey to White Deer Park

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am a bit of a bookworm. But in periods where I become a bit ‘stuck’, it can include finding it difficult to do hobbies, as well as create things. That means, i find it hard to relax to music and I just can’t focus on a book to read. Now, these can be issues, as both music and books are ways I like to relax. So sometimes, i feel like I just can’t unwind, and it is so frustrating.

So I made a choice to try and read 50
books this year. Its a big number, as I really struggled last year reading that same target, in fact I think I ready 11 books. 11 books in 12 months is really bad, as I used to read ALL THE TIME. So, in keeping of 2017’s plan I thought I’d try and red a book from my childhood to get me started.

The Animals of Farthing Wood.

It was a good idea. Because although the story was a lot mor simplified than I remember, was still super entertaining. And it made me think. If I want to do things, and am finding it hard, then maybe do baby steps. Working a really small bit towards your goal is better than working towards nothing at all.

When I was young Farthing Wood was a favourite. I read it so much, and became convinced I was going to get a pet fox. As a fox was one of the main characters. I loved animals, and the idea of different animals banding together to travel to a safer place, after the pond in their home of Farthing Wood is filled in by humans. People were building on their homes, and the animals leave whilst they still have the chance. But where do they go? To an animal reserve called White Dear Park, where they could all be safe. So the animals, a badger, fox, snake, weasel, mole, owl, rabbits, mice, voles and more, make a pact to live together in unity, until they reached their new home.

I read the book when the cartoon, based on the book, was aired on Children’s BBC, when I was about 10 or 11. The book disappoint, in fact, when I re-read it last week, it still kept me entertained. Okay, the way the animals all talked to each other was just like they were people, did annoy me. But it was still a book I could get right into.

So maybe, if you are struggling, try to do something you loved as a kid. It might help you re-discover why you love what you do, and give you the push to carry on.

Struggling

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

This week, so far, has been very difficult, productivity wise. Like, I set out these plans, and some of them aren’t working. Forming new habits are really hard, and I think it is easy to forget that, when you set yourself tasks.

I have posted every day, so far. And, whilst I was ahead of myself last week, this week, I am ‘putting it off’. It’s not that I don’t want to do anything, I do, it’s just I can’t stay focused long enough to do anything substantial. So this wee gap, between spending time with family and going to bed, has been used to write. It’s not so much a writer’s block, more of just pure procrastination.

I. Hate. That. Word.

Procrastination.

It’s the idea that people have this programme in their minds, that simply ‘puts things off’. As an adult, I have had enough experience to know that putting stuff off never works. The number of sleepless nights I had because I didn’t do work for school or college, and it was deadline time. It was not good. But still, all these years later, I leave everything to the last minute. It is one thing that annoys me about myself.

But, when I think about it, or chat to friends about it, they procrastinate too. No matter what it is, people can feel like they can’t be bothered. It made me think, that maybe procrastination is natural. That, if people had the choice, they would love to just watch funny videos on YouTube all day. But they can’t. People have to function, and sometimes trying to function knowing those funny videos are out there is hard. You have to show discipline. You have to make effort. And sometimes, no one wants to make effort.

Maybe we need to be easier on ourselves. Understand that everyone gets to where they can’t be bothered. And we need to either push through it, or decide it is not important enough. I think that is what I want to come of trying to commit more. That if there is something, that isn’t worth ‘pushing through’ the distractions, then I shouldn’t do it. Quite hard to know when to let something go though.

Sometimes it would be nice if life had a guidebook like the Computer Games do.

A Wish List

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am not a typical girl when it comes to shopping. Most times I don’t like it, sometimes I even hate it. Even when I was younger, I would sit outside the shops with my Dad and read a comic. And even now, as an adult, shopping is one of those things I wish I could get someone else to do.
I am pretty good when I am buying stuff for myself, except that I just don’t take long picking things. It’s a bit like, I’ll to an general area for something I need, and I’ll just pick whatever I come to, and that’s it. I can’t be bothered with dithering between shops, trying to find something perfect. Oh no, not me. I get what I want, and then get a coffee. Is that not the best thing about shopping. Eating rubbish and drinking too much coffee?
I do have a bit of a list that I am trying to work through, though. A bit of a shopping list for myself, full of things that I like or that I need.
1)New car- or just any car. Doesn’t have to be new. I passed my driving test in November, and I have yet to get a car. It’s what happens when Christmas gets in the way. I just want an old car, one that will get me from A to B, without putting me in debt.
2) A New Stereo- Yes I still use a stereo, or I did. My old one died at the end of last year, and I have nothing to play my CDs on. Because I am becoming a bit of a vinyl fan, I’d like one with a turntable on it. I have a few options that I am looking at, and it would nice to just listen to music again. Go back to where I would switch my phone and computer off, and just listen to some music and read a good book. Without getting distracted.
3)A Bright Lamp- This sounds strange. But as well as being more productive with writing and drawing, I’d like to make more videos. I like talking to the camera, but being that good lighting isn’t a thing in my room, I need to add some myself.
4) Some new gym gear- I love the gym, and once I get back into going regular in the New Year, I’d like some fresh stuff. Because, last year, I didn’t know how I’d feel about the gym, I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on stuff that I maybe would only use once.
5) Some new clothes- Like good quality shirts, hoodies and patches. I would like to get back into DIYing things again. Especially as it would be cool for all the gigs I have coming up. I feel like a lot of my clothes are old, and I could do with them being refreshed.
6) A Macbook- I have wanted a Mac computer at home for so long. Just because it is something so good at multi-tasking, when I have used one before. Unfortunately, they are very expensive. When I am on my computer, I never do just one thing, so I’d like a computer that could handle that. And I would like a computer that isn’t Windows based, as that system annoys me.
Yes, I certainly do dream big. I think that a car, is the only urgent thing on this list. I really would liked to have got straight in a car after my test, but I couldn’t afford one on my own at that point. And the longer I am leaving it between getting a car and passing my test, I am getting more nervous. That is about 6 weeks since I passed, and I haven’t driven another car since. It is a lot of money, and I don’t want to waste a lot of money on something bad.
I just have to be patient. Though I am worse for that, than I am for shopping.

So Long 2016

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Everywhere I look, there are people condemning this past year . Blaming the high number of celebrity deaths, terrorist attacks and political changes on 2016. Which is crazy. Yes, bad stuff has happened, but bad things always happen. The 24 hour news coverage has been very good at showing us bulletins with no ‘good news’ story.

Well, I am going against the common ‘2016 is shit’ thoughts, and think that this year has been one of the best year I have had in a very long time. Which fits in with my main aim for the year, to make 2016 better than 2015. 

The big thing was my mental health. I took a step back from a lot of things, like relationships, trying to work on illustrating things and oversharing online. I spent time think about my anxiety and what happened when I had panic attacks. I started the process in 2015, but I feel like I came a long way in 2016. I still have panic attacks and things,  but there is a lesser chance of them ruining my day or week. Although I have still got a lot of work to do on my mental health, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted already. 

This has given me more confidence. For the first time since I started at my work, I put myself forward for being an instructor, which is showing people how to do the job. I gave tours of the warehouse I work to large groups of new starts. I joined a group of associates which tries to make things better for everyone at my work. It feels like I can make a difference and help people. It feels good doing things I would never have done before. I feel like, for once in my life, I actually have a place somewhere that fits. 

I also decided at the start of the year that I would try to learn to drive again. I had driving lessons when I was younger, but the lessons went on for too long and I lost my confidence. So I started my lessons again, and it went a lot better. In the summer I passed my theory test, and in November I passed my practical. Driving felt like something that was sitting in the background, just another thing I didn’t finish. But now, it’s done. I passed, I just need to get a car now. 

So yes, 2016 has been a successful year for me. It has still had it’s bad points, don’t get me wrong, but I am not giving that my time. I am focusing on the ‘good stuff’. And it really helps. I can’t remember the last time where I sat at New Year, and felt happy about the previous 12 months. It’s a long overdue change.