I am finding myself struggling these days. It is numerous in reasons, but focuses around the fact that I am sore. My hands and my feet seem to be the big problem. And, I am honestly just so tired.

It feels like my muscles have always been easy to strain. Like, if I lift something too heavy, my hands are sore for days. I sleep on my arm, which I seem to like to do, my shoulder and neck can be sore for over a week. Or, that is what happened last week. I remember complaining about this years ago, and the Doctor telling me it was tendonitis, but surely not every tendon. It obviously isn’t every tendon, but it feels like it sometimes. And then my rheumatoid arthritis has good and bad days, which is the icing on the shit cake that is my health.

I thought I had an answer. I’d go to the gym. Sign up for a monthly pass, and go at least 1 morning a week. Hasn’t happened, yet. Mostly because when I am mentally knackered for having to constantly push myself to do things, so when nothing is planned, everything just stops. I run out of ‘oomph’ to push through the pain and do something. As I sit here typing this, both my hands are sore (typing is taking forever), both my feet are sore, my right ankle is painfully swollen, my right shoulder hurts, and there is pain in my neck every so often. And, I am sitting down, and despite being sore, this is the most comfortable I have been all day. It is one of those days where the 12 steps in my house that I take to my bedroom, feel like a marathon.

I am working to lose some weight, as this should help my foot pain. I hope. But, because I struggle to get moving sometimes, exercising is very challenging. That is without my brain deciding that leaving the house is too much for the day. I am trying to do my best. I did get out today, visited my friend, despite my walking around like an 80 year old. And when I waited for my dinner to cook, I had a wee dance to some ska and oi music. It’s the wee things, I guess.