Tag: thoughts

Is Social media done?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

If you use any social media, you will probably be aware of the news regarding various platforms, and various information on ownership, and the like. It’s wound up with a lot of people being angry, and a lot of discussions on things like censorship. A conversation that started over the last few years on Twitter (X). Where abuse and death threats became the norm.

It seems as if a lot of the users of social media platforms are just coming to the realisation that we users are not the customers. The customers are the shareholders, the advertisers, the marketing teams, the ones who pay money to access the data of the users. That is where the money is. Not the photograph you took for dinner, but the information of where you bought that food, what bank you used, what shop, what brand of product did you buy. A lot of these things are simply things that your smart phone picks up. And that ‘stuff’ is what marketing companies want. That is how the social media companies make money, by showing you advertising that is targeted to you. As social media oligarchs make changes that benefit the money side of the company, but alienates huge portions of their user base.

I use TikTok a lot. I like watching different videos, and I have found a lot of really informative content on it. I like the whole video diary idea, and follow a lot of people who create daily videos in this way. However, different agencies have come out that TikTok is too liberal leaning, that it attacks the more conservative viewpoints. So there came this statement where the US government was going to close TikTok down, with the app actually closing their US app down. For 14 hours. For 14 hours, the rest of the world could access TikTok, and more local content rather than the US stuff. But after that 14 hours US users were welcomed back with a message thanking new US President Donald Trump.

The thing is, when the US users came back online, they noticed some changes. Various hashtags regarding the inauguration of Donald Trump, or LGBTQ+ things were unusable . With users being told that the topic couldn’t be referenced to for the ‘good’ of the TikTok community. People found that LGBTQ+ user pics were removed, with no indication from TikTok as to why. I, in fact ran a trial of my own after discussing the TikTok ban on my own profile, and found it go hardly any views, where as me asking whether people preferred kittens or puppies got my normal views, This, to me, proved that TikTok wasn’t sharing opinions that were negative in anyway about the TikTok ban. In fact, some users reported their videos just disappearing, without any warning or notification from TikTok themselves. This has lead to people talking about censorship, and try and understand why certain voices are being silenced.

The counter-argument was, that nobody cared when conservative voices were being silenced. But the truth is, they weren’t silenced. They maybe had accounts removed from social media, but that tended to be for threatening violence, spreading misinformation, and breaking the platforms terms and conditions. When Elon Musk purchased twitter in 2023, and renamed it X, he also reactivated a lot of the accounts which had been removed due to abuse. These people came back with gusto, as if nobody could stop them. The abuse they sent was awful. As a user who spoke up against them, I didn’t get a discussion, or even blocked, I got death threats. Every day. I didn’t even have a big account, with only a few hundred followers, but the site was rendered unusable. I closed my account in the wake of this, and ended up floating over to Meta’s Threads. Where I made a lot of bookish and formula 1 friends. And I saw the positives of social media again.

It looks like TikTok is going to be in US hands, when its CEO was trained by Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg. And I sit and wonder if this social media ‘fight’ has all been a ruse to make each platform more money, and whittle away the usability for us, the user. I mean, my Facebook and Instagram are currently unusable due to AI, and irrelevant US made bigoted content. What will these big tech billionaires do, if their platforms do become examples of the Dead Internet Theory? Will they simply just buy something else, or stick with their sinking ships? I mean, advertisers won’t pay for things human eye’s don’t actually see.

And then, today, I read the revelation that blogging is back. That people are going to divert away from social media and curate their own online spaces. It’s proof, to me, that if you keep at something long enough, it will eventually come back into fashion again. Look at me, ahead of the trend.

Goodbye 2024…

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

Another year is almost over. Already. 2024 has been a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ kind of year for me. There have been some highs, some lows, and a whole lot of struggling.

I aimed high with a lot of my hobbies, and ended up doing hardly any. I wanted to write more, create more, and look after myself better. Instead all I did was order so many take aways, that I am surprised that Just Eat didn’t gift me shares over Christmas.

I know what things make me happy, but I don’t feel I deserve it. Personal and professional growth was not a thing this year, unless you count my scales. What is the point? Every thing I aim for ends up rubbish. That feeling is something I plan to leave behind in 2024.

2024 wasn’t all bad, travelled to Germany for the Euros, which was amazing. Saw Blink 182, Paloma Faith, Tom Walker, live. As well as feeling lucky to call ,many talented musicians, friends and see them smash it. I read a lot of interesting books, listened to lots of music. Made lots of great friends to chat f1 with. McLaren won the 2024 f1 championship. Lots of laughs with lots of great people.

I wish happy new year to everyone who may read this. Take the time to spend with loved ones, and be kind to yourself. This time of year can be very difficult if you are struggling. Reach out, speak to someone you know. Life isn’t easy, and sometimes we all need a wee hand. Samaritans is a charity, based here in the UK, is one I have turned to many a time. Call them on 116 123.

Going Down

~ Sue ~ 2 Comments

One day last week, for a few hours, Meta went down. Meta is the collective name for the services under the Facebook umbrella. So, Facebook, Instagram, Messenger, WhatsApp, and Threads. All down. Considering I message most people on Messenger, and chat all things F1 on Threads, I felt like I had lost an arm.

It’s not unusual, to be honest. Not these days. We have become so attached to our phones, that social media has become a major part of our social lives. And during the pandemic it became many people’s only way to socialise with people outwith their household. Something that has stuck, apart from the Zoom quizzes, thankfully they are mostly gone. I like a quiz, but when people are picking questions, it is a reminder that what is well known trivia for one person, isn’t always that for all people.

I have always had a connection online, I remember going on band forums to chat to people about music. Even when you had arguments with people, you closed your computer, and that was that till the following day. So, you had a natural break before you would go back, and usually by then, things had de-escalated. Everyone was friends again. But now, you are never really off-line, or I certainly am not. There is no escape for things when they do escalate.

Which made me think. Maybe the social networks need to crash more often.

Yuck

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

I am currently lying in my bed, with the worst stomach pains I have had in a long time. It almost feels like I have been punched in the stomach. Maybe something was wrong with the veggie kebab I had for dinner. I feel most comfortable lying down, so that’s why I’m in bed before 10pm.

It does not help that I am also feeling sore. This means that I am dictating this post on my phone. My computer is better at this than my phone, which is strange. I figured that because they are both Apple, that they’d work the same. It’s a strange thing, where I feel like I need to learn how to speak clearer. But the strange thing is, that when I speak on apps like TikTok and put subtitles on, it picks up everything so well. So the capability is there, it’s just not

Anyway, I have one more day at work, and then it’s the weekend. I am going to try and have an early night, in the hope I feel okay for work tomorrow. Yay!

Just A Weight

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So, I have been struggling. My health, both mental and physical, have been absolutely rotten. I feeling like I am treading water, just doing enough to stay afloat.

I have been doing things, socially, and these moments are highlights. But after every night out, every occasion, i always end up analysing everything that happened. I just seem to seek out anything bad. It is not anything that I do consciously, it just happens when I go over everything that occurred. I don’t just think ‘oh, we went to that bar’. It is more, ‘we went to that bar, and then I said this and it was so stupid’. And I focus on the bad feeling.

This happens all the time. Where I feel bad over nothing, and I then fear that I will then ruin things for other people. Sometimes, it is easier to just spend time on my own. That way the only person I annoy is myself. I feel for people who try to be friends with me, because I really am useless.

At This Age…

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

As of this week, I am officially into the last years of my 30s. Birthdays are not as fun as they used to be, I actually find them to be rather depressing. Which, sounds stupid, because getting older is a privilege that not every person gets. However, this doesn’t make my feelings about it go away.

Birthdays act like a bookmark, where a person can review the last year of their life, and gage how successful it has been. Personally, I am in the same job, I no longer have a car, my health is still crap, and I still haven’t got a place on my own. I just feel like a failure, which is something I feel a lot. Everyone else in my life has progress, a new job, new house, relationships, something. I actually feel like I am going backwards.

I would like my 40s to start of better than my 30s. To do that I need to prioritise things. The two big things is money, and my health.

I am going to move money around my bank accounts, try and build my savings. Because I have very little. I also, have to pay things like my computer off. And save money every week. I am going to try and get some overtime at work, because that extra helps me build my bank balance quicker. Whilst overtime can’t be relied on, it will be a great help.

As for my health, I need to focus more on what I eat. I think the most successful thing for me has been calorie counting, but I am bad at constantly tracking all my food. I don’t really know how to deal with that, but I have been trying to learn about the biology behind calories and what our body does with them. I think, I have a dodgy metabolism due to eating poorly in the past, mostly due to fad diet plans.

I saw an advert recently on social media, which posed the question ‘what would happen if you worked on yourself exclusively for 6 months’. Maybe it’s a good idea. Focus some time on it. So 6 months is October, so maybe I shall re-evaluate there.

Where Are We, Again?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

You’ve probably seen multiple articles this week, all proclaiming that no one knows what day it is at all. It’s because many people are off work, and between Christmas and New Year, the days just meld into each other.

It’s not quite so bad when you are working during this period. Though, it is annoying when it feels like everyone else is lounging at home in their PJs, and you are back to the grind. However, I focus on the fact that it means I save my holidays for when I need them.

This time of year is a good time for catching up with friends, or to simply relax. It is nice being able to relax, especially as December tends to be one of the more manic months of the year. It is also more challenging than ever, with wages being stagnant, whilst bills get ever-higher. This winter has already been cold, and it looks like it will get cold again in the new year.

It’s very easy to feel defeated by it all, so try and be kind to yourself. Nothing has to be perfect, as the media like to portray, because nothing is that perfect. Not really. So, give yourself a break. Look for something, no matter how small, that makes you happy. It could be a tv show on tv, or your favourite band releasing a new song. Maybe you made your own dinner or did the dishes. The world is a tough place, so try to focus on the positives, as they can help us through the tough stuff.

Stress Point

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Today has been a bad day. A day filled with pain and panic attacks. One of these things on their own, would be bad enough, I am lucky enough to get both. As much as I tell myself that bad days happen, it doesn’t stop me wanting to go home and hide in my bed. Pretend that the real world does not exist. At least for a few hours.

But I am at work, which has the ability to help or hinder my bad day. At work, I have to speak to people, and I work with people who I can speak to. Which helps my brain calm down. I get to chip away at work, which helps my joints and arthritis. Most of the time. Sometimes, I know pretty quickly, that work isn’t the place to be. And those times, I have to leave. And try to explain to managers what’s wrong, without embarrassing myself.

What set me off today? Well, I’m sore, which happens all the time. I can function, but it takes a wee bit more energy to do things, than normal. I can usually make it through work, on an average day. But sometimes, my mental health sucks too, and because I am using all my energy to ‘push through the pain, I have nothing left to deal with the crap that my brain thinks up. Today, I got some feedback, that there was an issue with my productivity. My brain, thinks that I’m not doing my part, I am letting down people, and I am useless. I then start panicking, which ends up with me crying (because that’s what a panic attack looks like for me).

Unfortunately, whilst I might feel good enough to carry on with my job, I will probably be very teary for the rest of the day. Partly because I feel useless, partly because I am embarrassed that I cried in front of people. It’s quite honestly, exhausting. Luckily, people at work are great. Letting me talk crap, whilst panicking, and are kind enough not to mention the embarrassing tears. Telling people helps.

I will carry on today. Finish my shift, and end the day with the satisfaction that I was able to work all day. I allow myself to think of it as an achievement, as it gives me a positive feeling I can hold on to. Something, that will help me when I go home, and collapse on my bed in exhaustion.

Renewed Efforts?

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

A few days ago I received an email, telling me that my domain had been renewed for another year. It’s not a problem, the payment comes out of my bank every year. I expected it.

However, it did leave me thinking of whether I make the best of having a website. A lot of people will see that I make no money, so will assume it’s a waste of time. But, as I have written before, that is not why I keep an online blog. I do it to help straighten out my thoughts.

Well. I’m supposed to.

I haven’t used this site very well over the last year. And, I come on here and moan about that fact, every time I post. Boring anyone reading, and myself.

It’s not just circles I am going round on here, though. I seem to be jogging on the spot in almost every aspect of my life. And, let me tell you, I am not very fit, so jogging is hard. I have a new plan. I am going to try and keep to a plan, which is hard. I have a to-do list, I have written a new one for every day this week. So I can hope to do some of it. I mean, some is better than none, right?

I hope so. Things need to start moving.

Good Acting?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been struggling a lot recently. I have been in a lot of pain when trying to move, which has been causing problems with the most basic activity. I still get up and manage to work, and try to focus on anything but pain. Putting a smile on my face, and try to live in the moment, where I am focused on what I am doing, rather than focus on how I am feeling. Which helps me get through every day, because if I don’t, the day would be unbearable. But, because I do try to do my best every day, people tend to not think I am struggling as much as I make out.

It makes me wonder, have I really got that good at pretending, or is it simply easier for people to not take someone seriously when it comes to health problems? I, of course, don’t want to think anyone would dismiss anyone’s health problems. But, it still comes to mind. I have been accused of making my health problems up. Like, because of my arthritis, I have bad grip, but sometimes my hands swell more some days. These days, I may have to approach my manager to do a different job, because of the pain (and the real risk that I could drop and break something). I have been accused of co-workers of making things up, because I don’t want to do a job. Which annoys the hell out of me, I would never dodge out of any work. But sometimes, I have to put my health first, and if something is too strenuous, I have to speak up.

Today has been a good day. Luckily for me. Where I am conscious things are still stiff and swollen, but I can work through the pain easily. It does happen. I could put on my jacket today, and pull on my socks with ease. Most days, however, this is not the case. And I struggle with the most basic task. People make jokes at work when I wear a baseball cap, when the truth is my arms couldn’t lift the brush high enough to sort my hair out. But I laugh with them, because I’d rather laugh at the oddity of the hat, rather than focus on the tears I had trying to get tugs out of my hair.

I guess, my point, in a roundabout way, is that you never know what anyone is going through. I am usually at my best when at work, because I am moving around, loosening my joints, and my mind is focused on what is in front of me. That is part the story of my health issues, but it is not the whole story. And, you will likely never know a person’s ‘whole story’, only what they decide to share. So, if they share something difficult, don’t assume it’s nonsense, because the side you see seems fine.