Tag: Purpose

Howdy Doodie

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am getting really bad at this update thing. Wish I had a lot more motivation. November is NaNoWriMo, and for the first time in 4 years, I am not even attempting it. The idea is that a person writes a full length novel in the space of a month. As enjoyable as I find the process, I have no motivation what-so-ever. If there is one thing that I hate, it is the thought that I could fail, which would be a certainty.

In my personal life, I am still working away in my temporary job. Money for Christmas, and for things that I have needed for months. It is a relief, that even though I do not have an abundance of money, that I can buy some of what I want. I can pay my way. Which is something that I struggled to do without a job.

I don’t think that I ever appreciated how difficult it is for someone to find employment once they lose a job. I was in constant employment for almost 13 years of my life, and yet I was unemployed for 6 months trying to find a job. I’d hate to see how bad it would have been, if I had never worked. But that is what some people face. With the unhelpful Job Centre staff, it is very easy to lose any hope of finding employment. And I imagine that feeling would get worse and worse, the longer that you were unemployed.

Long story short, I am happy where I am. Yes, it maybe isn’t idea to be working in a warehouse, but for the moment it pays my bills, and everyone there are so nice. I have been cross-trained in another department after under 2 months, which feels great. I feel like I can so something, and that I am useful. Once I force myself out of bed, I am in a great mood going to work. Which is a complete 180 on the sleepless nights I faced at my old job.

But working has me in a good mood. And considering what has happened over the last year, it is great to have my sense of purpose back.

What Is Your Purpose?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Why do you do what you do?

Everyone has their own reasons for doing things. They have a way that they want to express themselves, and they use it. I say this because a taxi driver isn’t defined by driving taxi. Your job doesn’t define who you are as a person, it may not even define your social values that you hold. So how do you try and give yourself more value in the areas that matter to you?

I write. Or try to. I have always written out my feelings and thoughts, in a way that I found difficult to speak. Over the years, writing blogs like this has helped me try to get to grips with what is happening in my life and even the world. I have tried to organise my thoughts in a way that helps create purpose for me. If what I say makes sense to someone, and may help them with something, it feels great. It feels like I have achieved something.

But, I find other people define me as one of those weirdos who shares their whole life online. Although, I don’t actually talk about personal things. I maybe talk about feeling depressed, or stressing out about life, but details are missed out. I try to put in what I learn, or advice that I should try to remember, and it’s almost like I give myself a pep talk. But a lot of people don’t see that.

But as life changes, my needs change, as does where I try to find meaning. If I don’t write, and out something ‘out there’, I feel angsty. I feel like I need to post something. It has become something that helps me organise my thoughts and ideas, and to me that is important. It’s the feeling I get when I write, that gives me purpose. It’s hard to explain it to someone, but I feel this immense sense of achievement, although it seems nothing to most people. But that makes it all the more important to me, I don’t expect it to matter to anyone else in the same way.