Bit bored tonight, so thought I would get a wee bit creative. Well, creative in that I am posting a photo post on a Saturday. Yeah, I’m lazy. So I am going through try and post 5 of my favourite photos from my phone.
I have so many photos on my phone, I kind of picked more nature and landscape pictures. I love photos, they capture a moment. I think it can be easy to snap away and not look at photos. The days of selecting pictures for a photo album are gone, so no harm in looking back.
Are you named after anyone? No
When was the last time you cried? A few days ago, watching a nature documentary. I am a sap.
Do you have kids? Nope
If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself? I’d like to think so. I am trying to be a better version of myself, so hopefully that better version would be someone I’d be pals with.
Do you use sarcasm a lot? No (yes, too much)
What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their eyes, you can tell a lot from a person’s eyes.
What is your eye color? Blue
Scary movie or happy endings? Happy endings.
Favorite smells? That smell that happens after a really heavy rainfall. Almost like mud.
What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Probably America, went to Disney in Florida.
Do you have any special talents? Not really. I like drawing, it is debatable whether it is a talent though.
Where were you born? Dunfermline, Fife, Scotland
What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, playing computer games, drawing and going for walks.
Do you have any pets? none 😦
Do you have any siblings? Yes, a younger brother and a younger sister
What do you want to be when you grow up? Probably be good enough to sell some paintings.
Who was your first best friend? Probably my brother, though I did want him sent back to the hospital when he first came home.
How tall are you? 5,4
Funniest moment throughout School? A friend kicking his shoe on top of a school building, and having to go to class with one shoe to ask the teacher for help getting it back.
How many countries have you visited? America, Switzerland, Malta, Germany and Portugal, so that is 5
What was your favorite/worst subject in High School? I loved art, but hated Modern Studies
What is your Favorite drink? : soft drink- Diet Coke, alcohol- beer or tequila
What would you (or have you) name your children? Always liked the name Alex for a girl.
What Sports do you play/Have you played? I used to play hockey, netball, football and lacrosse when I was younger
Who are some of your favorite YouTubers? Emma Blackett, Peanutbutter Gamer, Slope’s Game Room, Ashens, Rerez, Rosiana Rojas, Daisy Lola… I watch too much YouTube.
Favorite memory from childhood? Just the summer days playing with my neighbours, running around the field next to my house.
How would you describe your fashion sense? A mess. As long as it fits, is comfortable, it’s okay.
What phone do you have? (iOS v Android?) IPhone 6s. I have been an iPhone user for the last several years. Before that I had a Blackberry Bold.
Tell us one of your bad habits! Biting my nails. Do it all the time.
__________
This was just a wee distraction. I have always loved doing these questionnaire things, and felt I would share one here. It’s good to share, so if you’d like to use this, please do.
Okay. I know exercise isn’t really evil, in fact I enjoy exercise a lot, something I have into on this blog before.
The truth is, I am sore. I am very sore. This is mostly because I pushed myself at the gym yesterday, and did a lot at work today. This means that I limped home at the end of the day, feeling a bit sorry for myself. And, a bit like how a person after a night out on the town, may curse the existence of alcohol, I am cursing the existence of the gym.
So, to make myself feel better, I had some chips for tea and a nice long +90 minute bath. I am still sore, but I feel relaxed, so it easier to deal with. There is a myth that when it comes to exercise, the school of thought ‘no pain, no gain’ is the way to go. But I don’t believe it is. When I first started exercising, I did a little research first, as I was a bit nervous about hurting myself. I have problems with my joints, in general, where if I, for example, lift something heavy, it can cause my hands and arms to hurt. Nothing, that some pain killers can’t fix, but it is annoying.
Anyway, I looked into the best ways to gradually ease myself into exercise. And one of the things that is widely promoted, is that if you push your muscles too far, they can tear and get damaged. This is what can happen when you feel pain after exercise. This is why it is important that you warm up, before you do any exercise. Whilst I usually do warm up, I feel like I did too much. I walked 5km on the treadmill and cycled 10k, which is over double what I usually do. And that, is what I think caused the pain. Now, at that point, when I was sore, I should have had a bath. But I didn’t. So I went to work today, did a lot of bending and lifting, and the pain got worse.
I’ll survive. And, now I’m just having a lazy night with Youtube and my bed.
Not as dirty as it sounds.
I find myself getting a lot of headaches at the moment. Nothing too serious, just a pain that lingers for a few days, brought on by anxiety. Sounds strange, but sometimes I get myself so worked up, I get this pressure in my head, and it is a struggle to rid of. It can make me so irritable. So, I’ve been looking at things to help me rid myself of these headaches, and thought I would post a few things that seem to help.
Drink Water- Now, this seems very obvious, but sometimes a big reason as to why our headaches linger on, is because we are dehydrated. I have always tried to drink a lot of water, as I genuinely like it, but sometime I do forget. Especially when I am working, and run off my feet. I have so many things to do, I simply don’t stop. And drinking water, although it is a simple thing, it is easy to forget about it till you feel sick or rundown. Try to drink about 2 litres of water in a normal day, but more if you are running around, busy.
Proper Sleep- Sometimes we can get headaches or become prone to sickness because we do not sleep enough. This is a thing that sounds bizarre, but it really does affects how your body functions. Tiredness, is something that runs hand-in-hand with overworking. Again, like with drinking water, it seems okay to start your day early and finish late. And, short term, your body can cope, but if you do it regularly, then you may find that you become exhausted and run-down. It is recommended that most adults sleep between 7-9 hours a night, though this can be difficult. If you get under 5 hours of sleep a night, it can increase anxiety, energy levels and cause headaches. So try to give your body time to recharge, and have an early night, you should feel a lot better with a healthier sleeping routine.
Eat Healthier- Again, like the points above, this should be a bit of a cliché. But by drinking coffee and eating sugar snacks, we don’t really nourish our bodies right. Yes, they may help give you a burst of energy first thing in the morning, but you may get a feeling of tiredness later in the day. It also can contribute to headaches, as some of these processed, sugar laden foods dehydrate the body. Which if your body is struggling with fatigue, is not a good thing. Good things which can give you a boost, include fruit, vegetables, bowls of cereal (eg bran flakes), and, as said above, lots of water. These are cleaner, and will help your body keep energy throughout the day.
Deep Breathes- This sounds a bit hippy-dippy, but taking your time to breathe properly, does calm our bodies down, and can help reduce the pain of a head ache. I like a step outside and breathing in colder air. It helps wake me up, calm my mind down a little and just takes my mind off any anxiety.
As a person who does get a lot of headaches brought on by stress and anxiety, and I have spent a lot of time looking into stopping the headaches happen. It should work, but as with everything, you have to form new habits, which is rather hard.
I don’t know about you, but I have a habit of looking at the bad side of life. Focusing on the uncomfortable stuff that stresses you out, rather than the stuff that makes you happy.
I know that every day is a mixture of positives and negatives, but it is hard to focus on the positive if you can’t get past the negatives. It’s like there are roadblocks everywhere I turn, and I can’t even get to my destination. It is so frustrating.
I said a few days ago, that all I want to do is commit to everything I try to do. But I just don’t know how to commit to something fully, when I can’t find the focus, because my brain is taken up by the bad thoughts.
I need to try and change my perspective on things, but it is hard. I don’t know where to begin. That is a good thing, I guess, that we live in a world where there are unlimited resources on the internet for free. So I guess, I should have a look around. I think it is too easy to think that we know everything, and that we don’t need to learn anything else. But life is about constantly learning, so that we can better ourselves, better our lives. And that is the only way things will get better, to learn new stuff.
Just have to find somewhere to get help, and start making things happen. Hopefully.
As I get older, I find I can see the appeal of living alone with cats more and more. Sometimes, I just haven’t got the patience to deal with other people’s rubbish. That’s not saying that if someone has a genuine problem, I wouldn’t be there. Of course I would. It is people’s continual moaning about things. Adults refusing to do their jobs, or bitching about each other, like children.
I think it irritates me so much, because I find myself getting pulled into the middle of disagreements. I make a real effort to try and be on friendly terms with everyone I know, and when someone pulls me into their disagreements, it really triggers my anxiety. I think, this is mostly because I panic if someone takes a dislike to me, for any reason. Because of this, I hate getting pulled into any conflict, and that is what happens if people bitch about one another. It is a situation, where I stress out too much.
I think that every person should be looking for ways to improve themselves, even if it is just to make their own life more enjoyable. We are on this planet for a relatively short time, so we should make sure that we have a good time whilst we can. There is so much negative things occurring, that are completely out with our own control, so maybe we should try and make the bits we can control a wee bit better.
Of course, there will always be situations that annoy us. Times that make us bang our head against the closest wall in frustration. But I guess you have to try and change your thinking. If someone wants to ruin their day by complaining about things or people, let them. They may need to let out their frustrations. If that is the case, then there would be no ill-meaning behind anything, they may still like that person, it is just that they did one thing which was irritating, People are irritating, we do have a special way in annoying one another. Sometimes people can be best of friends, other times they can irritate one another. It is just how things are. No two people are going to agree with absolutely everything.
I think that is where I struggle. I can understand that people can have their own thoughts and opinions, and can maybe clash with one another. I just don’t like clashing. The fear of conflict, the idea that things could escalate, and people could ‘fall out’. It is like I jump the gun. I don’t particularly dislike anyone, and I don’t feel comfortable that a conflict could arise when I haven’t actually done anything. I am a bit scared that I will end up being the ‘bad person’, and that is something I don’t like. I haven’t ever intentionally hurt anyone, and the idea that I could hurt someone, stresses me out.
Maybe getting a wee flat and a lot of cats is a good idea. Animals just seem a lot more straight-forward than people. If anyone needs me, I will be searching for my new life of spinsterhood.
I partied too much yesterday. I drank to much alcohol and ate too little food. It really is predictable how nasty I felt this morning. As a person in her 30s, you’d have thought I’d have mastered this drinking business. But nope, I certainly have learned nothing.
Luckily, when I say I felt nasty, it was nothing past a butterfly feeling in my stomach and slight light-headedness. Not what most people would call a hangover, but it is the worst I really get. But I still don’t like the feeling, and do the ol’ ‘I am never drinking again’, thing. Which never happens. My problem is that I don’t drink very often, so when I do, I am an extreme light-weight. So I kind of thought of some self-care tips to help when I am feeling a bit sensitive, after a night at the pub.
1) Relax. Have a slow start, if your stomach isn’t feeling quite right, jumping right on the treadmill might not help. So stay cosy in bed, put on Netflix or a favourite playlist on YouTube, and chill-out. I find that not jumping up first thing, actually helps calm my fluttering stomach down. And it makes me feel better.
2)Drink water. This is a bit of a cliche, but there is a reason for that. Your body gets really de-hydrated after a night on the booze, and it really wants rehydration. Don’t drink entire bottles of water at once, that could make you sick. Just have a glass or bottle of water next to you, and slowly sip away at it. Hopefully, once you have taken in some water, the light-headedness should go away.
3) Fresh air. Once you feel a bit less nasty, go for a walk. Nothing to energy intensive, but just enough to get the blood pumping and fresh air in your lungs. The whole process should feel refreshing, and make you feel a lot better. I always go for a walk if I feel slightly rough after a night out, and it always has made me feel better. I put my favourite album on, or listen to a new audio book.
4) Eat some food. I am a firm believer that food is the answer to most of my problems. Whether it actually is or not, is something debatable, but it does make me feel better. I have been told that putting food into your stomach, dilutes whatever alcohol remains, and helps your body return to normal. I am not sure how true that actually is, but it always made sense to me. Again, like the water, it is not about making yourself full, it is just about having something new in your stomach.
I don’t know if these wee points will help anyone. They have always helped me feel more normal again, so hopefully they do the same for other people. Please feel free to share any hangover remedies you use in the comments. It might be interesting to see what makes other people feel better.
I haven’t had any extra time off work this year. I haven’t needed to as my working week sat perfect with the holidays. It’s a nice feeling knowing that I can spend my holidays when I want to. But, although I haven’t had an actual holiday from work, I still find myself effected by the ‘down time’ theme of this time of year.
As a rather top grade procrastinator at the best of times, I don’t need any excuse to do nothing. But this time of year, especially the run up to New Year, it is natural to slow down on the productivity and just enjoy life. Whilst it’s nice, it can be very difficult to get working again when the New Year does come around. It seems too easy to sit around in PJs and watch Netflix all day, but the world is still turning and you can’t really do that. Well, you can, it just means nothing will get done.
As someone who tries to be creative either through writing or arty stuffs, I have to have some kind of discipline. I need to be able to coax myself into doing something productive, when I’d rather be doing something else. It’s very difficult. But with me trying to commit to everything I undertake, I am trying to just do things then and there. No more ‘I’ll do it later’. Later never comes around, so I miss my deadline I set myself, and then everything goes wayward as i can’t see the point if I have already messed up.
At this moment I have a wee list in my head of things I’d like to do today. Like, read a chapter of a new book, write this entry, empty the bin… just small aims that I can focus on one at a time. And when I do one or two things, I am up and ready to go. I feel positive, and a lot more optimistic for the day, or what’s left of it. I hopefully can find some kind of rhythm.
It’s the week of Christmas. That time of the year which is filled with good feelings, twinkly lights and gifts for those who mean the most to you. It is a period which has always made me happy. As a child, that may have been mostly because of presents, but that has changed as I have got older. The festive period has become more about taking time away from work, spending time with family and meeting with friends we maybe don’t see as much as we should.
The meaning of Christmas, is supposed to be focused on the Nativity. Something that I liked as a child, when I attended Sunday School. The best thing about Sunday School at Christmas, was that I got a book as a gift. I loved books, and books as presents was right up my alley. I don’t have any particular negative feelings about my experience with the Church. In fact, I did crafts every week and read stories, it was perfect for me. But, then I got a little older, and decided that I wanted to go horse riding every Sunday morning instead. And, that was the start of me finding out my own mind.
When at Sunday School, we were always told that we could pray, if we had problems. Unfortunately, the problems of the stereotypical teenager came into play, and praying didn’t help. It was this idea, that the answers would be given to us if we prayed. It isn’t really that simple, and all it did was confuse my already confused brain, more. So I tried to find another way to help ease my tensions, which involved writing things down, drawing or reading a few chapters of a book. I picked up hobbies, that really helped. And, as I started to learn and experience new things, I kind of stopped trusting in an ‘ultimate power’. Nothing bad about people who do believe, but I just couldn’t get past what I thought.
Why do I still celebrate Christmas?
Well, I still like the stories, they are stories from my childhood that still make me smile. I like the idea that a couple struggling for shelter, would get help from a complete stranger. It doesn’t really seem to happen in life, but people can be good to each other. But life has taught me, that good behaviour isn’t exclusive to a religion. I like the festive time because it is a time I get to spend with my family. It is the one time of the year, where we are allowed a little ‘down time’, and appreciate what we have. No work, just a lazy day at home with my family, where we do very little. I get to buy presents for people, and whilst it seems awful capitalist, I feel like gifts help show people I appreciate them. They are a ‘thank you’.
We do not get a lot of opportunity to shut off from the world, and it is nice to have the opportunity to do so.
Appologies as this has become more of a ramble than I intended. But a lot of people, don’t understand that people can enjoy Christmas, without being overly religious. It is my personal thoughts, and I don’t intend to offend anyone. If you celebrate a religious holiday during this festive period, I hope you have the best time. Everyone has to believe in something to get them through life. I just prefer to believe in the goodness of people. Happy Holidays.
I really haven’t had much to say, which I haven’t posted in almost a month. Well there are things that are in my head, but no anything I particularly want to voice on the internet in a public way. In fact I just haven’t mentioned things at all. This sounds a little bit strange, especially coming from someone who uses blogging and the internet to work out their frustrations, but it is true. What it has done, is make sections of the internet, completely separate from what has been going on offline.
And I think that it is important, knowing where to draw the line with posting personal things online. Like, I have always used the internet to vent, to let out those annoying wee things that grate on me. But, I will not go into discussing a bad situation where someone else is involved. It could be to do with family or friends, but it is for me to share something, that whilst personal to me, is also personal to them. I mean, if other people are like me, my parent’s have me on facebook. The last thing I would need is someone talking about a personal situation that had me tagged, and that my parents could read, especially as it may be something that I didn’t want to share with them.
But, that is one of the best things about the internet. You can decide what you share. You might might be obnoxious and funny, but through Facebook you are simply funny, due to not sharing absolutely everything about yourself. It can be dangerous too, as you may never truly know someone you are friends with online. You can only virtually know whatever side of their personality, a person is willing to share.
When I write things on my social media accounts, sometimes I feel bad for the people who follow me. Because I can get so wound up and angsty, and they may never know why. I’ll just post those annoyingly vague updates about ‘some people are dicks’, and leave it like that. I know it is annoying, but sometimes, my anxiety gets me worked up over nothing and I need to vent. That is why there are sometimes no specifics about a situation, just that I am feeling crap, going to buy a cat and live in solitary confinement for the rest of my life.
I have been training myself to kind of push past any feelings of anxiety. Like, to allow myself to cry my eyes out over what ever non-event I am panicking irrationally over, but then when calm afterwards, pick up a book or listen to music. I do things that make me feel better. And then I can try and get things done (sometimes successful, sometimes not). These actions maybe don’t sound like something that require training, but it did. For years I would have a panic attack, and dwell on the cause for days. Causing more panic attacks, and a general feeling of complete loss. I have spent 2016 teaching myself how to power through the tears and the struggling to breathe. And whilst I still have A LOT of anxiety problems, it is a lot rarer these days, that I will lose a complete weekend to endless panicking over everything.
If I post every little panic attack I have, I think I would have no friends left. Even less, if they knew what I had panicked over. So sometimes, it is good not to share everything. But because I have had a bad few weeks, I decided it was best to just not share anything. Because as much as my new coping methods help me, I was going round in circles, and couldn’t even think straight to write properly. But, hey, I am posting. Progress is progress.
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