Tag: people

Unsocial Media

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I am going through a strange time with my relationship with the internet. For years, since I started blogging, I have found myself thinking more about what goes on when one posts things online. It has always been something, that has felt like a huge sense of relief for me, but recently, that hasn’t been the case.

When I post something, it has been done because it is personal to me. There has been some thought in my head, which has made me want to communicate how I feel about a certain something. It has always proved as being a very therapeutic way of organising my thoughts, and has previously helped relieve a lot of stress, so I can focus on other things. But, recently, I have found that what I post has been getting negative comments. As if I post personal things because I want attention. As silly as it sounds, attention is the last thing that I have on my mind. I have found before, that by sharing my own experiences, other people can sometimes feel not quite so alone. Because when you are experiencing difficulties in your life, it is easy to feel completely alienated from those around you. So, when you read about someone feeling as bad as you are, it can be quite comforting. In fact, when I was struggling with depression, it was reading blogs and online forums that helped encourage me to get help. So to me, social media is fantastic, because it can help people get the support that they may not have the courage to get from those around us.

Recently, I decided to do a major life change, and try to change my eating habits, I joined weight watchers. Something I have never done before, but felt encouraged to do so, by checking out fitness forums and things. On these sites, there are a lot of help points, to try and help you get motivated.  One of the points was keeping a foodlog. By posting photos of food on instagram and Tumblr, it reaches the online community, which can support you in your efforts. Seeing how sharing online has helped me before, I thought that this would be an excellent way to keep note on what I am eating. As if I feel too embarrassed to post about something I want to eat, then it is a sign that I shouldn’t be eating it. To me, this makes sense. I have a habit of eating without thinking about it very much, most of the time, I am not even hungry.

This sounds a very postive change, right?

The biggest social network is Facebook. Where people seem to take offence if you post something personal to you. Particularly, as with depression, it can come in cycles, people start complaining that it is done for attention. So when it is something personal, these off-hand remarks from supposed friends, hurt. The same thing happens when I started posting about photographing food. I am called names because to these people, food isn’t something that is deserving of their Facebook feed. Because, if you didn’t know, Facebook is exclusively for stolen memes, game requests, pictures of children and drunken nights out. People are very intolerant of Facebook. I believe this may be because some of the people ‘friends’ with you on there, aren’t really your friends, they just want to spy on those that they shared a college class with once. On every other website, if someone doesn’t like what you post, they unfollow. For some reason, that doesn’t happen on Facebook, people just post vague complaints about the content posted by folk they follow. It’s laughable, really.

With the bad experience with Facebook, I stepped back. Because speaking about any of my feelings is still so hard, to have it treated so harshly is horrible. So, I took it time to think about it. These comments that people post, are about that person’s hang-ups, and they reflect more on that person than they do me. I also have to try and toughen up, and that I have conviction to write something, then I should stand by it 100%.

Always Learning

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I heard recently, that once you reach your 20s, it becomes harder to learn things. I feel a bit weird about that, as I have learnt more as an adult than I did at school.

I find that as I get older, I do have more patience and motivation to discover more things. I like seeing new things, and finding out things I haven’t previously known about. I think when I was in education, I became apathetic about education, because I didn’t liked the environment of ‘forced learning’. It was okay, if the topic was something that I had interest in, but when it wasn’t, I found it so hard.

When I have got older, I have started learning off my own back. And because I am learning at my own speed, I find it so much easier to stay motivated and pick up things. I think, that it is important that people keep an open mind to carry on learning. That could be the problem with a lot of ignorance, people feel that because they are adults they have nothing else to learn. They have closed off their minds, which stops them from picking up on anything new. Which, I feel, can leave a person at a disadvantage to those with a more open mind.

Saying that, sometimes learning something new can be frustrating. I recently got a new laptop, which has Windows 8 installed. Now, the last version of Windows that I had, was XP, and it did what I wanted. But my computer died, so I got a new one. Windows 8 is a headache. I am trying to find my way round it, but I keep on finding that it seems to halt me in whatever I am doing. I think Windows 8 is about touch screen technology, which is great, unless you don’t have a touch screen device. Which I don’t. So I am trying to get my head round this new operating system, and until I do, I am stumbling through every activity I try to do on it. So frustrating. But, I just have to take a deep breath, I will get it eventually.

And that’s what I have learnt through being an adult. Patience and perseverance. I am not afraid to give something the time to get to know it properly.

Hating for hatred’s sake.

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It doesn’t take any effort, nor time, to hear about hatred. It isn’t necessarily about there being more hate, just that it is publicised more. It is in the newspapers, on the TV screens and strewn across social networks. It is reported, as well as boasted about by some.

I believe that hate is an adequate emotion to feel, despite how strong it appears to be. But because it is such a strong emotion, it evokes a strong reaction from other people. If someone can’t relate to the hatred that the see before them, then they react in an equally angry way, which can add fuel to a situation.

Anger and hatred, seems to incite anger and hatred. If you express what you feel in such a manner, it could come across as aggressive. That may not be intentional, it’s just that the emotions connected it are so strong, that they could be deceived as being aggressive.

So when we see more highly emotive attacks or intolerances being commited or reported in our vision, we can get angry. Intolerance is something that I dislike, so when I see people hating for no reason than their own lack of understanding, I get angry. I think that people need to take a step outside of their personal ‘bubbles’, and be aware that other people exist. Because, I don’t think some people seem to realise it. It is what they do and think, and that it is it. No-one else’s feelings or thoughts even come into the equation.

People need to become a lot more considerate. Before anyone says or does something to another person, they should think about how they would feel in the other person’s shoes. Not enough people do that.

—

Uch, this has been one of those blog posts where I didn’t know how to say what I wanted to. So sometimes, it is a good idea just to type my thoughts and see what comes out. So, if something makes sense it is awesome. 🙂

Fight Club!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Isn’t it great when something goes your way? When all the naysayers get proved wrong and you can stand victorious, with your hands in the air.

On the route to your victory, you may have been subjected to negative comments from those around you. A willingness to beat you down, and make any success you have seem more trivial. It can be grating, and more than a little dis-spiriting. And when things do go your way, you may want to throw a self-righteous laugh in the face of your detractors. But what does that achieve?

The negative comments are made, usually because people want you to be taken down. They may feel jealous that you are getting something that you worked for. Particularly if that person is going through a patch where they feel like their life is worse than yours. Their words may hold a venom that implies that they hope you fall on your backside in failure.  But, what doesn’t help is that when you are successful, you point out how flaws from those who suggested you would fail. It can start an argument, which is based on nothing than an idea of one-up-manship that you both feel for each other. It is endless, and can sully whatever success you have worked hard for. 

If you are in a better position due to hard work, you do not have to answer to anyone. You have earned your success, so enjoy it and don’t lower yourself to the mentality of those around you, hating your success. Let them hate. Don’t let it ruin your happiness.

Summertime

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Although I am a winter lover, i also love the summer.

My favourite thing to do is to get up early and read in my garden. A time of relaxation, where the sun heats up the air slowly. Because it is early, there’s maybe a few dog walkers nearby, but it is peaceful. And it is a good environment to read through a hundred or so pages of whatever novel I have rented from the library.

If it gets to a certain degree of ‘hot’, I’ll lay my book aside and just watch people passing me by. I usually go into town, or a park and just watch people. It’s relaxing to watch others going about their day, even more relaxing when the sun is warming things up nicely.

The thing with summer is, that if it gets too hot, it can be exhausting doing anything. You cut the grass, and you become a sweaty, disgusting mess. And that is certainly enough to make me slow down and not be bothered doing anything else. I’m really lazy, so don’t need much of an excuse. And from the volume of people i see doing nothing, I think others agree with me. But lazy folk look for any excuse, really.

The summer brings out people’s fun side. As families cook barbecues or have waterfights, some take a crate of beers to the park to have with friends. People want to relax, and the increased brightness makes things seem that bit brighter and positive. I think it is great to see what a positive effect on people the sun has.
__________
This waffly mess of a blog comes from my warm back garden, and is sponsored by an unusual visitor to Scotland, the sun. Hope everyone is enjoying summer, and remember to protect yourself with sunscreen and plenty of water. ❤

Fearing Change

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Time flies, doesn’t it?

One minute you are wasting seemingly endless summer holidays with neighbourhood kids, and the next you are plotting celebrations for your 30th birthday. The idea of my youth, was that I would grow up, be fiercely independent and have wild parties to indie rock bands whilst sipping on a cold alcoholic beverage of choice. It is with a crestfallen heart that I admit that my high flung ideals of adulthood have to come to light.

There is nothing in  particular that has stopped me from achieving my idealistic view of growing up, it is just life getting in the way. Being out of employment is just the icing on the cake, of the grand joke that something called fate has in mind, for me. The only changes that I have in my life, are ones that I could really do without. They are the kind of changes that have you worrying about ‘what is the meaning of it all’. Something that I haven’t found a suitable answer for.

I feel that this is why I don’t look to favourably upon change. I have this unrealistic need to live in the past, where I have this blinkered view that things were better. They weren’t. Coping with things just now is nothing something I do well, so from where I am situated, I it is easier to focus on things in my past that make me happy. I think that is why I am quite childish in a lot of aspects. I’d prefer to watch cartoons and listen to music, rather than deal with the Inland Revenue. Despite the volume of changes that have happened so far in 2013, I am afraid of stepping to the unknown to do something else, in case I really have had it too easy, and fate wants to teach me that.

If I am to be brutally honest, I don’t really believe in ‘fate’, a person makes their own life. It’s just every attempt I have made to get my life in gear, something has happened that has sent me right to the back of the grid, and it seems much too hard to try again. Maybe a little self-belief will help me get things into some kind of order.

But isn’t that what everyone needs? A little self-belief.

Speaking Your Mind

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have always had the belief that everyone should be able to speak their mind. That every discussion needs a pro and con side. And that by doing so, people should take all sources in account when considering what opinion to have on something.

This, however, is not always the case. People could form an opinion because of one thing someone said. They read a particular newspaper, and believe their propaganda to be fact, rather than being paid by some lobby. This is the United Kingdom, people’s views aren’t that as radical or as ill-judged as some in other countries. Or are they?

Throughout history, people have craved conflict. In the worst case senario, war and fighting can break out. This is something that can bring the people of a country together as the strive to get some kind of comradery to try and keep people strong. In the UK, this last happened in World War 2, when our country was in direct attack. Towns and cities were being attacked by Nazi bombing, and communities had to band together, to stay strong and rebuild communities after the War. People were pushed into co-operating with one another.

We are currently experiencing one of the longest peacetimes on British soil, and the need to band together is not really a requirement to exist anymore. People still want something to fight for, so start supporting various causes. This, fantastically, should bring some things into discussion, and make changes. But, as time goes on, people can start to look negatively about their personal situation, and get frustrated that their views do not get represented fully. They may start to band together with those who have similar points of view to themselves, and get could get pushed towards causes that they maybe never considered before. But the need for unity, and being heard, begins to cause conflict with other causes. People look for the differences in one another, rather than seeing why we are so similar.

The more frustrated people get, the more they want to change people’s views so that they can make the changes that they want. The frustration grows, and conflict becomes more and more common. People protest, the fascist right wing groups start to gain momentum, as the government struggles to keep a calm. Situations may arise like the Scottish Independence Referendum, where frustrated people want to change something, to try and better the situation for them and others. But all facts may not be considered, as people get more passionate and less considerate. They say what they say, and f**k anyone who doesn’t agree.

In the battle to get a fair society for all, the perception of what is ‘fair’ changes from person to person. To some, protection of the Church and Christian ethics are an important part of the laws of the land. To others, religion shouldn’t be a part of any government, and things such as marriage should be available to all people, regardless of sexual orientation. These two opposing view points are something that should be discussed calmly.

But increasingly, what people are being dictated to, in what to think. If someone believe’s in God, and feels homosexuality is wrong, shouldn’t he be safe to say his opinion? I don’t believe religion is necessary in government, as I believe some of the ‘rules’ can be out of date, should I not say that for fear of retaliation? How about another example, we allow a Iraqi family to come to the UK and live, they do and their kids go through our school system and become productive members of society. That’s great, isn’t it? They then learn about UK soldiers bombing Iraqi civillians, do they not have a right to speak out against the country that accepts them as inhabitants, and at the same time kills their countrymen? Surely they do. But these people will get told to leave the UK, for not supporting our troups. They work and pay taxes as much as the rest of us, shouldn’t they be able to speak their mind as much as their neighbours?

And that is the problem with free speech and speaking your mind. It is never really free to some. The efforts to stiffle those who speak more unsavoury thoughts, is painting an untrue picture of public opinion. If you let pro-choice people demonstrate, let pro-life too. Free speech in any society should allow people to share the opinions, without fear of retribution.

—

I know I have talked about this a lot reccently, but I am seeing it a lot in the media around me. And it is something that dwells on my mind a lot, because I feel I can say what I want, but that is because I have quite liberal leanings, but what about those who have more conservative views? I think increasingly those with conservative views are hushed into silence for being not so politically correct.

A Weighty Issue

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

20130407-220012.jpg

Sometimes in life we stand out, and are made to feel insecure by others. It happens to everyone at one point of their lives, be it school or workplace, or even at the supermarket. It can zap away all your confidence, and make you feel less than nothing.

I have had the most experience in this with my weight. Where it seems to be okay for people to ask me if my thinner friend is single, but nothing else. It is also apparently okay for people to call me names for being fat. Now being the ‘overweight friend’ my whole life, I know what shape I am, and I don’t expect to be shouted at by strangers about it. Most of the time, a couple of deep breathes can get me over the angst I feel, but sometimes the comments get stuck in my head. At it’s times that I can get worked up. I cry myself to sleep at night and just hate myself.

I have been reading about ‘fat appreciation’, something that gets posted about mostly on Tumblr, from my experience. It tells overweight people not to feel ashamed about their bodies, and learn to love who they are. But the very idea of making unhealthy people feel good about themselves gets a lot of bad responses. ‘Why should people feel good about being fat pigs?’

I believe that a lot of people, like myself, eat when they are unhappy. And the negative reactions that we can sometimes get from people we don’t even know, can make us very unhappy. It is a known fact that happy people are more proactive in general, hence workplaces spending millions making their workers happier. If an overweight person feels better with themselves, then they may stop gorging on crisps, and will chance going for a walk or to the gym. And the best thing is, if they feel good about themselves, then any negativity that is thrown in their direction, has more chance of being ignored. Also, if a person can learn to love themselves, then anything else that they want to seems a little more in hand’s reach.

Fallen Heroes

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Tune to the News channels, and you will probably find that some famous person has done something wrong. They disappoint their fans and followers, by doing something that destroys the image that they have built up. Which is not something exclusive to celebrities. Family members, friends or colleagues can also do something that changes your perception in them for the worse. And if that person is someone who inspires you, then it can also leave you questioning your values.

If someone has admirable qualities, should their less admirable achievements mask them? I am not sure. I think part of the problem is, that if you idolise a person, you put them on a pedestal. You hold them high, as you strive to follow their example, and get where you want to go in life. But when something ‘unsavoury’ comes to light, we change our entire perception of that person. It’s like they become a completely different person. But, it also effects us, as people. We see that our hero is flawed, and that person we strive to be like is not as perfect as we believed.

I guess, people should accept that nobody is perfect. We all have less favourable qualities and/or actions. It shouldn’t take away from our good qualities. Once we can recognise both the good and bad, in ourselves, we can appreciate the same in others. Success can be managed in so many different ways, and it is easy to hold people in high regard, if they are in a place you’d like to see your own life head. And whilst it is okay to be inspired by such people, don’t let them define who you are. You are your own person, and being that, you also have to be your own inspiration. You have to have the drive to continue on, without relying on idolising people to the point that we view them as a flawless. Everyone is flawed.

Opinion?

~ Sue ~ 2 Comments

Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one.

That statement is very true. I feel it also gives the idea that an opinion is something negative. It is like the quotation above feels that opinions are wasteful, due to the part of the body that it compares it with. It’s the part of the body that gets rid of all the leftovers. So, all the expression contains some truth, I find it to be an unfair analysis. It is a rather poor attitude to have on the subject of opinions.

Of course everyone does have, and are entitled to, their own opinion. The problem is, that people believe that they can change the opinion of others. An honest opinion is created with a person’s own thoughts and ideas. They think about what they have experienced, and craft their own thoughts on a particular subject. That makes having an opinion a very personal process, and I don’t believe that someone else should try to change it. Because if a person has an opinion, they have thought about a topic, and they believe themselves to be right.

And that is where problems occur. If you personally believe something is right, and someone tries to convince you otherwise, it can be hard not to get offended. So people defend their opinion, and those of different opinions clash.

I feel that if I wish for people to respect my opinion, then I should respect theirs. It’s simple, and should be very simple to understand. And it could be relatable to subjects such as religion, politics, eating habits and favourite bands. Respecting what others think is a big part of what is wrong in today’s society. Too many people let their own opinion become a blockade towards relating with others. For example, I know people, who shall remain nameless, who won’t associate with people who are religious, because they don’t believe in it. The religious folk are lovely, but people’s own intolerance stop them from seeing that.

Why is it that people strive to be so different, but then won’t accept the differences of others?