Winter Worn-Out

Winter has well and truly landed. The season which includes warm nights, hot drinks, family times and new beginnings. It is easy to romanticise the whole period, as there are a lot of good points. It is the one time of the year where everyone gets some time off work and school, to spend time together. And, in a world that doesn’t seem to stop, this is a thing that can’t be taken for granted.

I always work extra at this time of year. Help me get some money for Christmas, and to get on top of my bills for the start of the new year. Which sounds great, but there is always a downfall. This is the time of year where I ALWAYS end up sick. There is so much stuff to do, and I am constantly going from the cold into the heat, which makes it super easy to pick up bugs and stuff. And, I am now sitting on my bed, struggling to breathe and feeling so tired.

I am working 50 hours a week for most of December, and that means that I just have to ‘plod on’ when I feel so crap. I always work extra at this time of year, and always get sick as a result. So I am going to have to just have cold capsules. I don’t like Lemon tea or Lemsip, so I might just try to have a couple cups of tea, and get all cosy whilst I work away on my laptop.

Sometimes, I wish I was a kid again. Where I could take a day off school and watch cartoons all day, and not worry about missing out on money. Those were the days.


Tempting

I am bad at saving things for later. Be it food, money, or in today’s case, holiday hours from work. If I get an idea in my head to use something, then I’ll use it. I don’t seem to be able to keep anything till later. At all.

So today, I was to be in work, and I had a total headache. So rather that force myself in to work, I took an ’emergency holiday’. The hours used for that holiday are set aside so that if you need to use them, the holiday is automatically approved. It’s a good idea. But you only get 10 hours every 3 months. Ideally, you hold on to those hours, and use them for a proper emergency, where you might need to leave work early or something. But, I used it within the first week of getting it.

I had always decided that I was going to bail shift early, for the Dunfermline and Raith Rovers game, it was a derby game. I don’t get to go to many games, as I usually work on a Saturday.

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But Dunfermline won, which makes me happy, and makes it worth the time off. Life should include doing what makes you happy, right?

Back to normal

I have been off work for the last week. Needed some time away from work, which everyone needs at some point. I had a week of catching up with friends, and enjoying not having an alarm go off at 5.30am.

But, as with every holiday, the week went too fast, and today was my first day back at work. Back to where I was before I went away. Which is a bit stressy, to be honest. Recently I have been working in a different department with a brand new process. And I am finding that it is triggering my anxiety something awful. Before I went away on holiday, I was having to head to the toilet several times a day, because I was panicking. Which is not nice. It is embarrassing.

I do power through and do my best, but it’s really draining. And today, it felt like I was just back to the same place again. All that relaxing, and i still get worked up over nothing.

I am trying to push myself. I will get to where I need to, but like anything, it takes time. I just have to be patient and not give up. Which, is rather tempting. But nope, got to hustle and get shit done. Own the situation properly.

Holidays? What holidays?

People around me are happy, as they break off for their annual 2 week ‘Christmas holidays’. I am happy for them, I really am. I just wish that I could get a proper holiday too.

Since I got my first real job at a bakery when I was 16, I have always worked around Christmas. In shops, call centres or, like now, a warehouse. All things that really can’t shut down for 2 weeks, because people still need stuff. They need food, services and exchange what they maybe didn’t like for Christmas. The hospitals stay open, as do restaurants. The world keeps turning, not like it did when I was younger over the festive period.

One of the problems with working this time of the year, particularly if working with the public, is other people’s impatience. At Christmas, people expect miracles, that maybe can’t be delivered. I mean, a custom Christmas cake or an engineer to fix your TV won’t happen on Christmas Eve night. But people expect it too. As if their holiday is supposed to be perfect, but not anyone else’s. 

So, be nice to any workers you encounter over this festive period. I’m sure they would rather be at home with their famillies, and enjoy some downtime. Christmas is a very expensive time of year, and everyone is just trying to make things a bit better for their families. And maybe, not everyone gets to spend anything other than a few days with their loved ones. 

The festive season is supposed to be thinking about others. So make sure you do that. Think about those serving you this Christmas, and please be nice to them. 

Return To Normality

This is where I am going to pretend that I have had a life away from the computer, long enough to get behind on blogs and everything… but it would be lies. Well, not complete lies, but maybe more an exaggeration. I have spent my time off work concentrating on myself, and just off-lining a bit. I say a bit, because I was on Tumblr and Twitter still, I just didn’t update everything.

Which is unusual for me, I usually at least keep my blogs updated, but I just haven’t been on top of things. Mostly because I haven’t been wanting to write anything substantial. So I can post bits and bobs on my Tumblr, and the other blog sites get ignored. Which is not my intention.

Anyway, I am back at work tonight, so that means that I am trying to get myself back into some sort of routine, where I can update things again and such. I am always so re-energised after a holiday, so I am making the best of it, by motivating myself to do things. And those things include hitting property and job websites. I need a full time job, and a place to live. Or at least I can keep an eye on price from afar. Which leads to some progress in the situation, which makes me happy.  So as long as I keep momentum up, things may be a-changing soon.

And That’s That

So after all the stress, and running around, Christmas is over for another year. Other than working extra for Sky, I spent Christmas day with family, and met up for a drink with some friends on boxing day. All in all, I really enjoyed the holiday, though I don’t think it really felt like Christmas. But I don’t know if that’s because Christmas as an adult is not the same as it was when you were a kid. I do think that’s probably because it was all about toys and Santa, and now its about family.

But, as usual, it is probably me overthinking, and nothing has really changed.

Anyways, I have access to my website’s cPanel again. This means I can update it all, and start redirecting things here for the time being. That is really awesome, as I feel that this blog and things, at least show me having some level as productivity. Mostly because, no matter what is happening in my life, I always have time to blog. Actually, it is something I make time for, and I am glad I do. It always helps me organise my thoughts, and sometimes vent a little. And to me, I feel that you can tell someone’s personality from how they write and explain things.

I mean, I think a lot of people lose the interest of business prospects because they don’t show personality in what they do. Like, I have seen an Australian girl I know’s website. Her work was awesome, but her site was a template and contained a blog written in text speak. The point of a blog, on a site, is to express yourself but to let readers know you. If you don’t show opinion, or you write badly, then I think that you are doing a dis-service to yourself and your work.

Again, I have rambled off on an irrelevant tangent. That is becoming habit on here. *LOL*