Counting Steps

In a bid to get healthier, I am recording what I eat as well as monitoring my physical activity. The aim of this is to record when I am doing well, to try and spurn me on to do more. Whilst this all sounds great, it doesn’t necessarily work out like that. I have a habit of being inspired for a few days, and then falling down a bit, which happens. The problem is, that you can see this on your fitness tracker, and it can sometimes have the opposite effect. It can make any lack of activity look a lot bigger and more important, than what it actually is.

I have a Fitbit Charge, which is like a watch. It shows time, steps taken, distance walked, and flights of stairs climbed. If I am active, like at work or walking round the coast, it is very useful. It is something I would recommend to people looking to become more active, but don’t take the data too seriously. It can be very easy to be discouraged if you don’t hit target. It is something that happens, whilst it is nice to aim for 10,000 steps a day, you should beat yourself up if you don’t reach your target.

I walk an average of 15-18000 steps a day when I am working. And if I have my fitbit on, it uses a LOT of the battery, purely because I am doing a lot of activity. Now, the Charge is supposed to last up to 3 days on a single charge, which doesn’t happen. In fact, I the Charge will last till the end of the day. This means, that if you want to use it for monitoring your sleep (another function of the product), you wouldn’t be able to have a heavily active day before or after the night you use it. But, as I write this I have realised something, a lot of people maybe don’t use it as a watch that they wear all day. Fortunately I charge my Fitbit overnight, and wear it all day at work. Unless I forget to charge it, or lose the charger (both happen frequently), and then I will go without.

Overall, I would recommend the Fitbit or any fitness tracker for anyone who is looking become more active. The biggest thing I would say that is a challenge about using a fitness tracker to improve your health is finding routine. Like every change really. If you are unorganised, like me, it may take you a while to remember to wear your device every day. But, I has made me more active, I love walking, and the fitbit helps give me aims about it. If you are unsure whether a fitness tracker is right for you, there are many apps available for mobile phones, which also work quite well. That’s what I did first, to see if I found that kind of thing useful, and i obviously did.

Does anyone else use apps and devices to track their activity and is it working?

Me Versus Food

I am 31 years old, and spent most of my life invisible. Not getting into fights, not hurting anyone, not hating anything. Doing everything I have been able to do, to stop any attention on myself. But, I am kind of lying here. I do hate something, and that something always has been food.

When I was 13, I got my first job delivering a local newspaper. I was starting to have problems at school, with people calling me names and making me feel like shit. I had friends, but whilst I could have the best times with them, I never really felt I could confide in anyone. So to make me feel better I decided to use my new income to buy something to make me feel better. Because I was getting under £5 a week (was a really shitty paper round), I could afford a magazine and one other thing. That other thing was usually junk food. A multipack of Wotsits, just cause they were my favourites. I’d eat them through the week, when I ‘needed’ a boost. That was just the start of it.

As I got older and as life got that bit harder, I guess I turned to food more and more. It became easier to eat a bag of Doritos than actually speak to someone about how I was feeling. And it has caused me a lot of problems. My health, is biggest problem. I have tried to deal with my weight, a lot, but as soon as I try to focus on succeeding, it is like my thoughts are diverted to think about failing instead. About being in a worse state than I am already. About being one of these people who dies in a room, that has to be lifted out their window by forklift, because they can longer fit through their own front door. Yes, my brain jumps to conclusions, but that is what it does. Makes me wonder what the point is of trying to make any change.

Just walking down the street makes change hard. In my local High Street area of less than 20 shops, there are 3 bakeries, 3 cafes, 2 chip shops, 1 pizza shop, 1 chinese takeaway and 1 Indian. And that is not including the 2 supermarkets and 2 paper shops, which also sell food. And most of the food is crap. Or they do sell salads, but it is hidden behind all the fizzy drinks and fatty snacks that I find so comforting. I want some healthy pasta, I must walk past cakes, pizzas, pastries, chocolate and just shit, which is usually cheaper than the healthy stuff. And I always crumble, because just walking past all that crap makes me feel so shit, that I crave that same shit to make me feel better. It’s some fucked up cycle of thoughts sponsored by sugar addiction and lack of care for myself.

And that is maybe the worst feeling. I know I am unhealthy. I know I am shortening my own life span. But, I can’t help it. I do try, but the accusations of not trying ‘hard enough’ just makes me give up. Not eating enough is classed as a mental health issue. Which is good. But us that over-eat, we are just fat, lazy and incompetent. Sometimes, I think that my life would be easier if food wasn’t a requirement for life.  Then it wouldn’t be featured on TV so much, in every newspaper, every website, just everywhere. Whenever I see food, I feel bad. It would be easy just to have block button, like you do on social media, where everything to do with food would disappear from my life. It would then make it easier to deal with.

I want to blame other people for feeling like this. But it is all my fault. They say silly jokes. Jokes that aren’t funny to me. Jokes that make me want to cry. But that isn’t anyone else’s fault. It’s not their fault I find it hard to talk. To people anyway. I just need to find a new way to deal with things, that isn’t me eating some greasy salty shit. Just don’t quite know how to do that.



Buzz Buzz (BEDA)

This is a challenge for me to write today. Not for any other reason than, for a change, I am happy. Which I know sounds weird, but it’s true. And when I use blogging as a way to ‘let go’ of the negativity in my life, I always get a bit lost when I don’t feel so negative. I just don’t know what to write. 

I guess I’ll maybe start with why I am so happy. I have been ill the last few weeks, with a cough and some eye/allergy thing. The cough is still here, but it is on the way out, and my eye isn’t bothering me nearly so much. Which is such a relief, but I found that I barely did anything last week. Because I was getting no sleep, I had no energy. It was horrible. But now I’m feeling a bit better, i have so much energy. The last 2 days I have went for long walks (4-5 miles) to try and get into shape. Because I have been sick a lot recently, and I am thinking that it could be because I am in RUBBISH shape. 

So, in the last few days I jumped back on Weight Watchers and have been trying to walk as much as I can. Why walk? Well, it’s free, is really good for you and can save me money on bus fare. I think it has been so easy to jump into walking more, because it has been a really nice few days. And the sun being out always helps my mood. 

What has surprised me most, is that, despite that I haven’t done many long walks recently, I wasn’t tired at the end. It was the opposite. I was buzzing and was a big ball of energy. I came home, and couldn’t sit down, so had a busy afternoon. It makes me think, I am normally a slow riser in the morning, maybe if I had a walk first thing, I’d have more energy for the rest of the day. I am going to try it for the next few days before work, and see what happens.