Tag: friendship

Being There

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have always been a person who loves their own company. I have always spent a lot of time on my own. That’s not saying that I have no friends, I do have a lot of people in my life that I am lucky enough to consider to be my friends. People who I know will have my back, no matter what happens.

But, I don’t think I am a really good friend, if I am honest. I don’t organise to meet people for coffee, I skip nights out, I am THE WORST person at texting back. The list goes on, but you get the idea that I am pretty unreliable. Well, if I do plan something, I will do it. I don’t like bailing on things, particularly if they are important, like birthdays. I try to keep my promises. But the ‘general invite’, is the ones I skip. It sounds horribly selfish, I know that. It is one of the pitfalls of having a brain which stops you from letting go and simply enjoying life for what it is.

There is always that wee voice in my head, that stops me from doing  things. I feel like I am a big bag of misery, and I wouldn’t want to impose that on people I care about. I don’t always feel a part of situations, like I observe more than participate. I have this belief that getting too involved in something, will ruin it for everyone else. That is why I tend to keep myself to myself.

Sorry to anyone who is my friend. Sorry for letting you down and not being around more. I obviously have a lot of issues to sort out and to try and make my confidence better. I will try harder to be a better friend. Do other people have issues with being a good friend?

We May Meet Again, In Some Long Forgotten Town.

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Friendship. That thing that makes a person feel they are not struggling through life on their own. They are like the family we can hand-pick. It’s the people who shape us into who we are.

But, sometimes, as people grow, friendships are lost, and people become strangers. In risk of  becoming all overly angst-ridden, I do think that it is sad that we lose contact with people as we grow.  In one way, it would be nice to keep friendships going throughout our entire lives. But that is something that can often be impossible.

I was talking to some friends the other day about relationships, and how they can start off well, and slowly fall apart. I believe that because people are constantly changing, relationships can’t always change with the people. Relationships tend to be static, they don’t seem to change, and as a person grows, they can out-grow the relationship. Yes, at the time we were talking about boyfriend/ girlfriend type of relationship, but friendship can be broken in the same way. I mean, I know many people, who, at one point, I would include amongst my best friends, but over time we have grown apart. It can be that as other things happen, you lose contact and don’t have much time for each other, and in no time at all, you can become strangers.

It is sometime inevitable, that this is going to happen, mostly due to our nature of blanking out things which are not directly in front of us. So people shouldn’t blame themselves. Actually, people will never blame themselves if a relationship falls apart, it is always the other person who has changes, the other person who made mistakes, the other person who broke things. Whereas normally, it is because both parties have contributed (or not contributed, as the case may be) to the destruction of the relationship.

But, as sad is the end of a relationship is, if you force the relationship to continue, where it is naturally coming to an end, you can just end up stunting your own growth as a person. And, yes falling apart from someone is hard, but it is so much worse if you end up deeply disliking the other person, because they stop you from being who you want to be. Which is why, I have decided, that it is better to go separate ways, rather than force something that will just create unneeded conflict.

Yeah, my decision is law, yo.

Motivation such an aggrivation

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

What is happening?

I am so lazy right now. It feels like everything I am attempting to draw is so bad right now. And more often or not, I get fed up and just give up. It’s so frustrating.

It also feels strange that I am not going back to college this year. All the people I have spent the last few years with are either going back, or going elsewhere. 4 years in a row I went to college, and it really did change my life.

Before I went to college I had a few friends, but 1 really close friend who treated me like crap. But college helped me meet a lot more people who I had a lot in common with. And it kinda helped me make proper friends, and feel a bit more appreciated. I now have people who I trust a lot in my life, and it makes me feel better about me.

Which leaves me a bit gutted, cause that period of my life is over. But its on to the next chapter, and hopefully it will go as well as the one that’s just closed. Fingers crossed.