Just Keep Swimming…

So the other day, I wrote an entry on here, which was probably the most personal thing I have written on here in a long time. I was emotional, and was rambling A LOT. But it was honest, and that is what I am trying to be a bit more of. More honest with myself, about how I feel and telling people how I feel. These are things that I struggle with. Which is why blogging is something that helps me so much. I can try and think about what’s in my head, and be honest about it, without imposing it on the folks around me. I mean, people have their own stuff to deal with, they don’t need my pedantic rubbish forced on them.

Anyways, after posting my blog on Monday, I just went to bed. I had been crying a lot, and that makes me tired. Plus, I was sick of Monday, by that point, I just wanted it to go away. So, I went to bed and fell asleep pretty quick. Which was probably the best way to deal with feeling that crap. Because if I sit after feeling like that, I can start to feel worse. I could be sitting watching TV, but my brain has different ideas and seems to just make me feel worse. So, I expressed all the negativity, and then just attempted to switch off from the world. I am actually surprised that it worked, to be honest. Just close the day off, as a disaster.

On Tuesday when I woke up, I didn’t want the day to become another mess, so I just wrote myself a to-do list and focused on each bit one by one. I had a plan, and felt focused. There was nothing else I could do about how I felt the day before, so I attempted to make Tuesday better than Monday was. Usually, this kind of thing doesn’t work, and I end up dwelling on whatever negativity has happened before. But, before I could back out, I put on a 90s pop playlist on Spotify and before I knew it, I was tidying up whilst dancing to Faithless and Britney Spears. And I became so determined, that by the end of the day, all the rubbish I have been hoarding for years was in rubbish bags, and the floor had even been hoovered. Sounds like nothing, but I have been needing to do that for months.

I was so upset on Monday, because I felt like all that planning to positive in 2016 had crumbled at the very first obstacle. But, that ended up not being the main focus, for myself. It is that I moved on from it, and then had a successful and productive day. And it gave me a bit of hope for the next year ahead. Maybe I won’t do everything I aim to do, I am not perfect. But, if I can learn how to cope with the failures,in a manner like I did this week, then maybe 2016 will be better than 2015.

Just have to have faith in myself.

Run Like The Wind, Bullseye!

This would be an update, if there was anything of value to update about. There isn’t so it’s not. Simple.

I hope that everyone on the land of the internet had a happy Christmas, or whatever winter holiday it is you may celebrate. Even if you didn’t have any celebratory holidays, then I hope you are enjoying winter and all the warmth that comes with it. Unless it is summer where you are… I give up.

I like Christmas. I like that it is a time where life slows down, and you can spend time with those you love. Christmas, like all religious holidays, has been picked on for effecting state too much, and that there should be less focus on it. I find that this is unsettling. People are becoming very intolerant over what others do. If someone wants to celebrate something, why shouldn’t they? People shouldn’t be offended if it does no harm to anyone. There is enough bad feeling in this world, without stomping over people’s time of celebration.

The truth is, I don’t particular link myself to any religion. But as a child I went to Sunday School, I had a bible, I learnt the stories. To me, as a book worm, I loved the books I would get, and hence grew up on the stories. And that is what they were to me, stories that had lessons and morality. As a child, these bible stories were nothing different to the fairy stories I read. And my ethics on the whole thing hasn’t changed. Noah and the Ark is still a brilliant story all these years later, and I can see why people find comfort in it.

It must be great thinking that someone is keeping an eye on you from above, there to guide you in the right direction. I don’t believe it, but I do respect those who do have faith in something like that. I need to see proof and think too much about the logics of religion, which leaves me a bit cold about the whole ‘greater being’ thing. But I do like the lessons and the characters. I can see why people do look to find answers in religion, as it tries to teach you lessons throughout the various books and scriptures. It is comfort, it is direction, it helps bring famillies together and gives people a reason to be alive.

Why, if a book can give so much hope to a person, would you want them to stop celebrating what they have discovered? If it doesn’t harm you, why harm them and what they do?

*Irrelevant blog titles a go-go. 🙂 I know this may not make sense, but hey it’s a few things I have been thinking about. *