Tag: doctor

Wired Wrong

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I used to always ask for help. Go to a teacher, and tell them what I was feeling. It could have been about my weight, sexuality, or anything. I was always told, no one can help you fix a problem, if they don’t know about it.

So, I’d ask. For help. For advice.

The only answers that I got, were that I was ‘wired wrong’. Something, my teenage self, turned into being my fault. As if it could be anyone’s ‘fault’. It was my own fault that I felt so disconnected with the people around me. I’d speak to the doctor, they’d give tablets, but not really listen.

As I have grown up, I have continued blaming myself for not processing things the same, or for letting certain things effect me. I stopped asking for help so much, as it was embarrassing that I was doing this myself.

Over the last 6 months, I have had regular phone calls with a locum GP, who actually listened. I have spent time doing meditation, and I have no medication for my mental health. Which, is terrifying. But I am taking every day at a time. The GP mentioned that every person is wired differently, that’s why we are all such different people. There is nothing to be ashamed off. I just need to learn how my brain processes things, and find out what works, for me.

I turned 37 last week. It should never have taken this long for someone to make sense of what was happening. To find a way to help me understand why I was feeling the way I did.

Things aren’t all rosy. I still get panic attacks. I still assume the worst. I still start a dozen different jobs, and finish none. I still worry that I have offended everyone, and apologise for it constantly. But, it feels like I can find a way to work round what happens. To learn to love the behavioural quirks that make me, me. Which is a challenge and a half, I tell you.

My doctor said something that stuck. ‘Life comes with a standard manual, one that works for a large percentage of people. It doesn’t work for everyone, which is why we can write our own manual. Our own directions, that help us make our own way through life.’ It sounds silly. But it was strangely comforting.

Coughie Time

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

For the last few months I have been suffering from a cough. It’s been varying from a constant tickle in my throat making me cough every few minutes, to have one coughing fit maybe once a week. It is something I am unfortunately having to put up. But, a bit of flu last week has thrown me back to square one, with me having to go everywhere with a bottle of water  and coughing up a lung every 5 minutes. I must admit, I am a bit at my wits end.

I have been to the GP a lot. I have been put on a lot of medication, finally settling on an antibiotic, which helps, but doesn’t make the cough go away completely. I’ve been for X-rays and had cameras put both up my nose and down my throat. The results of said tests? Nothing serious, just keep taking the antibiotic and it will eventually clear up. Which is all fine and well, except I am getting fed up. I don’t want to go out, or plan anything because coughing everywhere is kind of off-putting for other people.

So I am looking for something to help ease my coughing woes. That’s why I am writing this post today, to see if there is any advice out there. The main problem about general advice online, is that you have no idea if it really works. By asking people, you are hopefully getting ideas that worked for them. 

It has to be worth a shot, so if anyone has any alternatives to help me with my tickly cough, please reply below. I’ll be great full for any help.

Fighting For Breath

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I haven’t been quiet about my health recently. I find that all I am doing at the moment is complain of how I am sick. Now this cough has been here for 3 weeks. And just when I think it is getting better, it gets worse again. The main cause for the coughing has been my tickly throat. I try to drink plenty of fluids to try and soothe it, which does help sometimes. But other times, at least once a day, my breath catches and I start coughing. When it gets like that there is nothing that I can do to stop coughing. I take syrups, cough sweets, water, none of it works. I just have to try and calm my breathing down enough, usually achieved by breathing through my nose, which is hard as that seems to be blocked too.

This seems minor, but it has it’s bad moments. Sometimes, the cough is so constant, I cant drink any water to soothe it, and it just continues, to the point where I can’t catch my breathe. These are the times, with tears running down my face, that I end up in the bathroom vomiting down the toilet. And I HATE vomiting, it makes me revert to being like a little child. It takes all my energy not to cry my eyes out and call for my Mum. It’s all a bit sad and pathetic for a 31 year old to be unable to deal with being sick. And it is tiring to deal with, when this happens at least once a day.

I have refrained from visiting my GP, as with all coughs I have had before, the syrups and cough drops have worked fine. I don’t think that I have a choice anymore. I have missed more than one day at work already, and I hate missing work. I feel guilty of letting someone down. But it gets to the point, where my health has to take priority over attending work. I am sure that working in a dusty, heavily air-conditioned environment is helping me get rid of this cough. So, I am taking tomorrow off from work, and going to try my hardest to get an emergency appointment. If I can’t then I have to wait at least 2 weeks for an appointment. I am no doctor, and maybe it’s because it is effecting me, but surely being unable to keep food down and struggling to breathe is at least a little bit urgent. It’s not even just that, I am in constant discomfort because I have pulled muscles in my stomach, side and back because of the coughing. I am taking Ibuprofen constantly, or else I can’t even sleep. Which is a struggle as it is, with the coughing all the time.

I am sorry for having such a rant on here, but I don’t feel I have anyone to vent like this too. Plus, everyone is sick of my cough, because it has been going on for so long. But if the people around me are annoyed, it is nothing to how I feel. I just want it to go away