Nothing To Say

When you create online content as a hobby, it can get very frustrating when you can’t create. Because everything I do online, be it blogging, video creating or art related things, is a method to help me deal with mental health, sometimes it gets a bit hard. The words I write down don’t sound right, or I can’t draw what I am feeling. It feels really stifling.

When I get like that, I feel stupid, because the things that are meant to relax me, aren’t. And I get really panicky and anxious, because what kind of person can’t write a few paragraphs or draw a picture. And I feel awful. The only way I can get out of that negative state of mind, is to do something else. Recently that has been jumping in my wee car and going for a drive. I always end up at the beach, somewhere.

That’s were I am right now. Listening to the waves, smelling the sea air and reading a new book. I feel super relaxed. I am going to try and go back into my schedule of posting 3 days a week. But if I miss out a few days, or weeks, it might be that I am struggling with my mental health. And that’s okay. I just felt I should share.

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A lot of people read my posts via Facebook, who have decided they shall no longer share posts automatically with personal profiles. This means I will have to post manually, or create a ‘page’ for myself, as it still works with there. And that is frustrating in itself because Facebook wants you to pay to promote your posts to your own followers. It’s a pain. And I don’t know what to do about it yet.

Arguing with technology

I am currently in a mood. I have fallen out with my computer, as it has decided to not do what I want. Well, it may be more a software thing, rather than the actual computer, but it is still super frustrating.

sick PC

I was in town on my own today, and it was one of those rare occasions when I had my camera in my bag. So, feeling all inspired, I thought I’d try to go to new Carnegie Library and Museum, and document it. The plan was to film bits, and then do a voice over when I got home. I have been wanting to practice my video making abilities and get better, so I thought it would be a great idea. So, I came home and edited everything together. Was pretty happy, until I tried to record the voice over. The microphone on my computer has decided not to work. Queue me huffing like a 3 year old.

After some sleuthing online, I found out that a previous Windows 10 update may have rendered the microphone useless. So, I needed to go to the ASUS website and download the newest version of the driver for the microphone. Seemed okay, till the ASUS website became unavailable since it was doing an update. I gave up at this stage.

My original plan was to have things updated today, but obviously the forces of the universe are against me. I have a big bulk done, so hopefully I shall get up early tomorrow and get it finished. I say hopefully, because my productivity comes and goes so fast. At least all that energy I have today, hasn’t gone to complete waste. I have complained and updated this blog at the same time. Yay!

It’s covered

I am one of those people who can’t have a simply plain notebook. I need to have it personalised, to show a bit of character. For book covers I like them to be covers in a mosaic style. Like below.

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When I was younger, that involved printing pictures off the Internet, or cutting them out of magazines. Gluing them onto my book cover. I was feeling a bit bored with my most recent diary, so I ordered stickers off Amazon, and spent a wee bit of time, covering my book.

It was really fun and relaxing. Something I am needing to do more of. And it is something very simple.

Better than who?

I bought a magazine called Blogosphere today. It was something that I decided to have a look at because I fell I need a little inspiration to get back on the blogging horse properly. The last few months I have been writing very sporadically, mostly because I don’t have a lot of ideas, and everything that I catch myself writing is mopey, rubbish. Not something I actually enjoy reading. 

Blogosphere is a magazine giving advice about creating content, and how writers got attention to their blogs. It’s very informative and helpful, but only if you have the right frame of mind. If I am feeling a little fragile about myself in general, it can be difficult to look at people who seem to already have success doing what they love. I love writing, it has become a major part of what helps me through life. But, I seem to ramble about nothing, and that doesn’t really get an audience. Yes, advice can be good, but complaining for the sake of complaining can be very painful to read.

But that’s maybe it. Yes, getting advice from other sources is good, which is why I bought Blogosphere. I have never been able to go to any events or conventions, so I have never really known how to get a focus on here. The problem can be, when you look at other bloggers who run vastly better sites than yourself, you can feel down on yourself. Which is quite easy to do, especially because blogging can be quite a solitary task, which is mostly writing musings on a particular topic. 

I guess the best thing, for me, is to try and think positively. Look at everything as something to help improve your own creative process. Its very easy to see something good, and look down on your own work negatively, but it’s important for your creativity not to do that. If you can look at the world and take away positive steps to move forward, that will always work in your favour. 

It is just re-training your brain to get away from the negative thoughts. But as long as you don’t give up, you will never fail. And the closer you get to your goals, it becomes easier to create. So just focus, and look at the world to help you. 

Inspiration

It is important when you are creating original content regularly to have something that motivates you. Something that gets you into creating regular. I am one of those strange people, where it depends on my mood as to whether something motivates me or not. For instances, sometimes Netflix is perfect background noise to me doing my sketchbook. Other times, I’ll end up watching whatever is on my TV, and ignore whatever I intended to do. Sometimes music distracts me, that I need to work in silence, but most of the time music gets me pumped for work.

However, sometimes it helps to look around at other people’s output to get you creating. My list of blogs I read regular is getting bigger and bigger, and they do make me want to write for myself. Which is awesome. I try to read a variety of blogs, like technology, advice, music, books, fashion, gossip, anything really. The only thing I look for, is passion. The person has to really care about what they are writing about, so that a sense of honesty comes across in whatever they are trying so say. And, in turn, that becomes something that I wish to convey in my own blog. I hope that by reading this blog, that someone could get an idea of what I am like as a person. That’s the idea anyway. 

In the last year or two I have noticed that there are books and guides written on ‘how to make a successful blog’. I am guessing because keeping a blog is a really honest way break down boundaries between customers and businesses. But the whole idea of guides published by ‘experts’ no one has ever heard of is a bit vomit inducing, if you ask me. I am a person whose blog started as a way to express myself, so find the idea of people doing it for the sole purpose of making money as strange. I don’t get it. Pay £14.99 and have some guy try to tell you how to be successful in the blogging industry. That’s right, people think of it as an industry now. It’s strange.

But, prepare for shock as I reveal a slight contradiction, I have today a magazine on blogging. The difference I found in the magazine, Blogosphere, was that it wasn’t selling itself as a ‘complete guide’ or. ‘how to blog professionally’. It is sold as part of the blogging community, with articles written by various bloggers. Every member of the team producing this relatively new magazine has their own blog. There is a lovely straight forward casual tone to the magazine, rather than the teacher-student tone of a lot of the ‘how to’ guides.  I found it very similar to the blogs that I read every day, as upon reading it, I became very motivated to write this very blog.  

Do you create regular? How do you get motivation to do so? 

Blogosphere magazine is available at WH Smiths for £4.00 an issue every month. Alternatively visit http://www.blogospheremagazine.com for more information. 

Make The Best

I am always one to complain when I am feeling down. When my motivation has gone elsewhere, and all I want to do is sit and mope. When nothing gets done, and I feel useless. It is not a very nice feeling, and it is one that I seem to get a lot. It is hard to do anything past the essentials when you feel like that.

However, when you feel inspired and full of energy, it is important to utilise that. I am trying to do that today, although the issue is that I am inspired, but have no focus. So everything that I am doing really has no point. Which is okay sometimes. I think. Not everything has to be precise and tackling something in particular to mean something personally. Using the energy that I have today, is important. It means that my week has gotten off to a productive start, and that motivates me for the rest of the week.

That is the problem with a lot of bloggers, they do it to make money. I have never had that need, and always blogged as another way to express myself, as expression has helped me through mental health that I have experienced. As a result, I find that I do write quite a bit of nonsense. But that is okay with me. I enjoy reading other people’s nonsense and seeing how their minds work. I think what comes out when you don’t plan anything is more honest, and that is good for both the writer and reader.

Some may disagree with me, but hey, if I am inspired I will do something creative. And so should everyone.