Positive Change

February 2, 2016 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So we are in February already. Usually the quick passing of time gets me quite depressed, but not at the moment. I feel like 2016 has got off to a fantastic start so far. Even with the few road bumps that have occurred.

I feel like I have always been quite open in here, as I have attempted to deal with the mental health issues that I experience. I spent 2015 trying to learn how to deal with bad stuff that happened to me. The biggest problem, is that for years I have struggled at looking past anything negative. I was upset about things that had happened, and worried about things that could have happened in the future. It’s really so stressful.

So, I have put a lot of effort into try to focus all my energy on making every day, better that the day before. Which is hard, almost like re-training yourself. Which is hard, because it sometimes feels like society trains us to be overly negative, just by the tone everything is. Sometimes, it feels like we are expected to be overly critical of ourselves, something that starts at school. We are taught, or I feel like I was, that I could work my arse off, but sometimes it wasn’t good enough. And, I think that has bred the anxiety that has caused me issues as I’ve grown up.

But, by focusing on now, and doing the things that satisfy me, I have been a lot happier. If something bad happens, I’ll still feel bad about it, but I’ll also do something that makes me happier. This helps move my focus on from what is negative. And by that simple thing of changing my focus, I stop thinking about whatever bad thing has happened.

I talk about it a little more in the video below

Lost In It All

December 4, 2015 ~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

Just looking at the Internet today, not searching for anything in particular, just looking. Something that I don’t do very often. I am good at commenting on everything, and putting in my two cents on whatever is going on.

Sometimes, I think we get too much information thrown at us, mostly by the Internet. It gets a bit hard to process it all. It is also hard to distinguish what is important, particularly on social media. Twitter and Facebook have a habit of promoting the useless twaddle that fills up the gossip sites. If you like that kind of thing, it’s okay, nothing wrong with it. But how can you tell what’s important when the going-ones in I’m A Celebrity is given more promotion than the story about Parliment voting to bomb Syria?

It just gets a bit overwhelming at times. Like information overload. The press has always had the finger pointed at it for over-hyping one story, to mask over another one. A way of attempting to pull the wool over the public’s eyes. And that made a lot of people bored with the press, and turn to sides like Twitter and Reddit for more direct news. But when companies can pay for an allocated number of retweets, how honest is what we actually see?

That’s what I sometimes think about, and to be honest it freaks me out sometimes. There are so many different ways to get information these days, and a lot of the time, every take is slightly different. So what has been added for effect. Is that ‘first hand source’ really telling a true story. You never know.

As good as the Internet is for finding out information about the world we live in, sometimes I think it would be easier if all the web was used for was Netflix.

Let It Be

December 2, 2015 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Today I got really angry about something I had no control over. If things don’t ever go the way I plan, I get really irritable. I don’t like blaming other people for why things go wrong, when I can blame myself. Which sounds silly, but that is how my brain works.

But… things need to change.

It is not good for a person to believe that, every success and failure in the world around them, is entirely their fault. But that’s what anxiety does to me. And the worst thing is, that like all mental health issues, there is no quick fix. You have to spend time ‘re-training’ yourself, to change how you think about things. And that can seem the impossible task.

Maybe, a good idea, is trying to relax a bit more. Make sure that everything I do is the best I can do. Whatever happens around me, doesn’t really matter. Not when noticing ‘that’ makes me so aggitated. I have to try and learn that what happens happens, I can only do what I can. And if what I do is the best I can achieve, then there is no need to be angry if things don’t work out.

Deep breaths and visions of a calm blue ocean are required I think.

Inspiration

September 1, 2015 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It is important when you are creating original content regularly to have something that motivates you. Something that gets you into creating regular. I am one of those strange people, where it depends on my mood as to whether something motivates me or not. For instances, sometimes Netflix is perfect background noise to me doing my sketchbook. Other times, I’ll end up watching whatever is on my TV, and ignore whatever I intended to do. Sometimes music distracts me, that I need to work in silence, but most of the time music gets me pumped for work.

However, sometimes it helps to look around at other people’s output to get you creating. My list of blogs I read regular is getting bigger and bigger, and they do make me want to write for myself. Which is awesome. I try to read a variety of blogs, like technology, advice, music, books, fashion, gossip, anything really. The only thing I look for, is passion. The person has to really care about what they are writing about, so that a sense of honesty comes across in whatever they are trying so say. And, in turn, that becomes something that I wish to convey in my own blog. I hope that by reading this blog, that someone could get an idea of what I am like as a person. That’s the idea anyway.

In the last year or two I have noticed that there are books and guides written on ‘how to make a successful blog’. I am guessing because keeping a blog is a really honest way break down boundaries between customers and businesses. But the whole idea of guides published by ‘experts’ no one has ever heard of is a bit vomit inducing, if you ask me. I am a person whose blog started as a way to express myself, so find the idea of people doing it for the sole purpose of making money as strange. I don’t get it. Pay £14.99 and have some guy try to tell you how to be successful in the blogging industry. That’s right, people think of it as an industry now. It’s strange.

But, prepare for shock as I reveal a slight contradiction, I have today a magazine on blogging. The difference I found in the magazine, Blogosphere, was that it wasn’t selling itself as a ‘complete guide’ or. ‘how to blog professionally’. It is sold as part of the blogging community, with articles written by various bloggers. Every member of the team producing this relatively new magazine has their own blog. There is a lovely straight forward casual tone to the magazine, rather than the teacher-student tone of a lot of the ‘how to’ guides. I found it very similar to the blogs that I read every day, as upon reading it, I became very motivated to write this very blog.

Do you create regular? How do you get motivation to do so?

Blogosphere magazine is available at WH Smiths for £4.00 an issue every month. Alternatively visit http://www.blogospheremagazine.com for more information.

Video: Out & About- Pittencrieff Park, Dunfermline

June 8, 2015 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

https://youtu.be/eENCsOQQ2I4

Technology’s Least Favourite Person

May 6, 2015 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

The biggest problem about using a lot of technology, is that sometimes it can stop working. Something happens, and it feels that, no matter what you do, things just don’t go the way you plan it. That is the problem that I had today. First my phone refused to charge. It kept popping up with a message saying ‘device is not compatible’, despite me using an official Apple charger. It’s not something that surprises me, because despite the cost and how good the actual devices are, iPod/ iPhone charger cables are absolute terrible. They always seem to break, a small lose connection renders the thing useless. I got the cable working again, mostly by unplugging it from the mains for a bit. I don’t know how but it seemed to work.

And that was okay. After visiting the Doctors, I decided that I would use the afternoon to make a video, get my YouTube channel working again. So I thought I’d record a video explaining why my previous videos had disappeared, and the name change, which has all happened for the same reasons as this blog has changed. There was no point in having the ‘graphics’ title in anything if I wasn’t uploading anything to do with art. Makes sense. I made all my existing vlogs private, as if to get a clear slate to work off. So far, so good. I then decided to record a quick vlog, explaining the changes. I tried using my Canon camera, it didn’t work because something corrupted in the memory card and I had to format it. So attempt one was a bust. I then tried to use my webcam, but my movie editor wouldn’t pick up the sound, at all. So I resorted to my iphone. Shot a video in 2 parts, went to import it into my computer, and it didn’t transfer just deleted the videos off my phone.

At this point, I was close to just leaving it. But, after some delving, I realised the current iOS YouTube app allows you to upload direct from the app. Which is good, because for a while there, you had to upload using a different app. Which was a pain. This time, fortunately, the video recorded and uploaded no problems. It did mean that the video wasn’t edited, but at the stage I was at, it didn’t really seem important. But I got it up, which is a good thing, considering that YouTube is where my creativity tends to go to die. It is easier to watch people’s stuff, than make your own. But because vlogging helps me just as much as blogging does, I thought I’d make the effort. See the results below.

https://youtu.be/VcMK1Cxdz7M

The video is so simple, but I don’t think that people realise how much effort goes into making a simple video appear online. I mean, it has taken me hours just to get that video available for others to watch. Of course, technology was a major problem today, but usually I would edit a video, and that takes time. And I think people need to remember how long things take, before they post hate on someone’s videos.

Change Is Good (BEDA)

April 17, 2015 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Everyone needs change. Everything needs a refresh every now and then. If we don’t, then there is a chance what we are doing will become stale. In personal experience, I find that is where I struggle to continue to work on a particular task. I need what I do, to be as fluid and ever-changing as I can be as a person.

So, I have changed a few things. For the last few years I have used the internet as Sue Riot Graphics, as Riot Graphics was the design company I planned on running when I left college. Unfortunately, life got in the way, my inspiration stalled and it never really came back to me. As I have been attempting to blog every day for a month, I have been spending more time online again and discovering that having Graphics in my online handles was no longer in-keeping of where I am now. In fact, I found it a constant reminder that I failed to achieve all I had planned. I felt like a failure just by logging into a website. And that lead to me being completely de-motivated with things.

So, I am currently going through the process of re-naming my online account so it is simply Sue Riot. People ask me, what’s the point of not putting my actual ‘real’ name on these websites? My only answer is that I feel that the person I am online, is different to who I am in real life. I also like that by having a slightly different name online, I can be myself, without having to compromise my personal privacy. Because that is one thing when you share your life on the internet, it is how much details we place on the internet. And as much as love sharing my experiences and thoughts online, I don’t want to share my personal details, because you never know who could abuse those details.

But yeah, slight new name change to the blog. Also over the next few days sueriot.com should start working. The blog is set up to start feeding automatically to the new URL, so everything should still be intact and functioning fine. I am so happy about it. Change feels awesome.

BEDA: New Challenge & Future Changes

April 1, 2015 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It’s April. That means that a lot of creative types are attempting to be super creative for an entirety of the month. I am taking part in Blog Every Day in April (BEDA), in a bid to help motivate me. It is a project that I first actually saw on YouTube, where video bloggers took part in Vlog Every Day in April (VEDA). People do also take part in the challenge in August. I love blogging, so thought that it would be a good wee challenge for myself. I like doing things like this, or at least giving them a try. So, I am looking forward to sharing things every day, and seeing how it pans out.

The challenge actually coincides with me changing a few things online. And, I don’t just mean just changing layouts and visual things. For the last few years I have used various internet networks as ‘sueriotgraphics’, which did make sense at one point. It maybe was a bit optimistic, but it gave an idea that I did want to do graphic design. This launch into my ideal career has stalled on more than one occasion. I have struggled to stay to motivated, and have become really discouraged about creating art. Which super depressing as it is, without seeing the ‘graphics’ title everywhere, kind of rubbing me the wrong way.

I wasn’t planning on doing anything too dramatic, just dropping the graphics bit. It would still connect to my aspirations. As I have mentioned before, I do have problems with anxiety, and it helps me when I can ‘close the door’ on things every so often. It is like stopping things, and starting a new chapter. I feel like it gives me a sense of control. To swipe aside any failures that I have had, and allow me to focus more on what’s ahead. It is like a cleanse.

I am hoping to start putting these changes through soon, and have started working on how I want everything to look. It is really exciting and I hope that doing BEDA will help keep me moving, and actually see this all through. Which would be a nice change, don’t you think?

#DearMe – A letter to teenage Sue

March 4, 2015 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Hi.

I know that people are harsh, but try and put what they say behind you. These people may think they are better than you at High School, but they aren’t. A lot of these people, who you cry over, won’t be a part of your life after School. Rather than waste your evenings crying over what these people say, spend you time with your actual friends, that actually like you. Some of those friends will live far away in the future, so make sure you spend as much time with them as you can.

Don’t make yourself feel bad for your body shape. You have never been stick thin, and that isn’t a bad thing. Every person is different, and no difference is better than another. You give up sports because you don’t like how you look, don’t do that. Keep playing football and rugby because you love it, don’t let the remarks of others stop you. Also, binge eating doesn’t stop what people say about you, and it always ends up making things feel worse.

Work hard. School becomes a miserable place, and it even puts you off reading, even though you have always loved reading. Pick classes you are interested in, and work on them. Don’t do filler classes just so that you are in classes with friends. Although it seems fun, it is a bloody distraction. It is part of the reason that you struggle at school, and the ‘laziness’ habit you get into causes a problem when you hit college.

You have quirks. You like books, computer games and cartoons, and that’s okay. Everyone has interests and hobbies, all that matters are that yours make you happy. Be proud of who you are, experiment with everything in your life, and find out what works for you. Have fun, don’t force yourself into situations which makes you feel horrible. The questions and doubts you have about your sexuality aren’t bad, you just are a bit scared because there is noone to talk to. Your friends will support you, so talk to them about it, don’t let it batter away at your confidence.

Please remember, you are worthy of love, happiness and the life you dream. Enjoy your teenage years, and have fun.

Love Older You

_______

The #DearMe project is actually a Youtube project, but due to me having an issue with a corrupted memory card, I thought I’d blog it. It aims to inspire and motivate young women everywhere. The advice you would give You, may help someone going through those issues now. The video for the campaign on Youtube is over here. The campaign started yesterday, which was International Women’s Day, so it’s a little late.

Is there any advice that you would give to your teenage self?