I don’t know if it’s my age, but so much stuff gets on my nerves these days. I have such a short fuse for so many things. To be honest, most of them are highly trivial, and they are just another reason for complaining. We Scottish people love to complain a lot, and it can be about anything.
The big thing that bothers me is rudeness. Treating other people poorly for no reason is just not nice. A lot of the time, people are rude because they think the other person is ‘lower’ than them. Folk can be very judgemental, which is an automatic thing for most people. Some people use that judgement to try and knock down others. And normally it is based on nothing that other party has actually done.
I try to treat everyone with kindness, just because that is what I appreciate, myself.
My stress levels have only just about recovered from Sunday’s race. 75 years ago the first drivers championship, and the start of formula 1 occurred at Silverstone. It is a track I have always wanted to attend, but it is one of the most expensive circuits on the Formula 1 calendar, so it hasn’t happened.
The internet was alive with nonsense after the race, so I thought I’d bide my time before sharing my thoughts on the events. So how did it go, let’s run our way to the podium.
Franco Colapinto -DNS
Poor Franco. He was pulled in to replace Jack Doohan for the Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix back in May, and has had 6 races. He has found the learning curve awful steep, and has struggled. He crashed in qualifying, and due to repairs was going to start from the pit lane. Unfortunately, as reported from Sky Sport’s Ted Kravitz, Franco’s car jammed in second gear, and he couldn’t start the race. I just hope he gets more opportunity to show what he can do.
Liam Lawson- DNF
Liam has had much better luck since his swap over to Racing Bulls earlier this season. He seems comfortable in the car, and has pulled results out the bag. I think he seems to be a very pedal to the metal kind of driver, and that didn’t really work in the Silverstone conditions. That’s the Great British weather for you. He hit Esteban Ocon during lap 1 and crashed out. Luckily he is okay,
Gabriel Bortoleto- DNF
Gabi is another rookie who had a spin out onto the gravel. He had such a great result in Austria, he is bound to be disappointed. He did manage to keep the car going, but shed some debris and had to retire. He did try.
Isack Hadjar- DNF
Isack has been having some tremendous results in his rookie year, and he is quickly becoming one of my favourite drivers on the grid. Unfortunately, he was bothered by the rain, and poor visability, and bumped into the back of Kimi Antonelli, and then spun his Racing Bull out into the barriers at a high speed. Luckily he was okay. Footage showed that Isack couldn’t see the lights of the car in front, until it was too late. Shows how treacherous wet conditions can be.
Kimi Antonelli- DNF
Kimi has been flying during some parts of this season, unfortunately the damage caused by being hit by Isack Hadjar was too much to keep going. Kimi had qualified in 7th place, but had to serve a 3-place penalty. A poor end to what was such a promising weekend.
Yuki Tsunoda- 15th
Yuki has been struggling since taking the second Red Bull seat. This weekend looked a little promising for him, with him narrowly missing Q3 on Saturday, and qualifying p12. His race fell apart after an incident with Oli Bearman, which was escalated to the stewards. Yuki was served with a 10 second penalty, which left him at the back of race.
Charles Leclerc- 14th
Poor Charles. Someone has cursed the poor guy. Ferrari tactics left him way down in the field, and he ran off complaining about water getting in his helmet, and that he couldn’t see. In Charles’ post-race interviews, he looked so sad and defeated. I personally wanted to give him a hug.
Esteban Ocon-13th
Despite being involved in an accident in lap 1 with Liam Lawson, Esteban battled on. The race appeared to be a struggle for him, but he kept going. Post-race he mentioned that he thought he deserved to be in the points, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way. A shame after grabbing some points the last few races.
Carlos Sainz- 12th
Since moving to Williams this season, Carlos has been struggling quite a bit. Almost like whoever cursed Charles, cursed him too. Carlos was further up the runnings, but as the track dried, and other car’s traction improved, he fell down the pack. He was, understandably, very frustrated at not being very competitive. Now in the second half of the season, he will be hoping things settle soon.
Oli Bearman- 11th
The last rookie standing, on his home race. That is something that is commendable. He did get a few scares, but kept his head, and ended up narrowly missing out on points. In a race which took out the other rookies, and caused a few veterans to spin, he did very well to keep it together. Him and, teammate, Esteban’s synchronised spin looked like something out of the ballet.
Esteban Ocon and Oli Bearman in synch
George Russell- 10th
Mercedes tactics did not help George this weekend. He was pitted for slicks a wee bit too early, and he spun off track pretty much straight away. George did get his head down, and achieve a points finish. He would obviously be disappointed, after qualifying 4th, but 1 point is better than none.
Fernando Alonso- 9th
Fernando had a few complaints with the Aston Martin tactics. Asking if they were looking to ‘lose points for fun’. He was very unhappy, but still recovered the best he could, and got some well deserved points.
Alex Albon- 8th
Alex? How did you get here? A very well deserved points haul after three DNFs in a row. It feels like Williams are trying different things with each of their drivers, to the stage that stuff works for one driver, but not the other. Alex is a quality driver, and I really hope he is rewarded with some consistency with car reliability.
Lance Stroll- 7th
I am one of those F1 fans who is willing Lance to get results. He was all the way up in third place, and I was so excited. His ability for driving in the wet should be studied, or maybe he should be given a job driving Alpine’s racing boats. He was doing so so well. But as the track dried, other drivers stared to out-preform him. Like his buddy, Fernando, Lance complained on the radio after the race. Saying it was ‘the worst piece of shit car he’s ever driven’. Don’t beat around the bush or anything. I think Lance had a really good race, even if he doesn’t agree. Double Aston Martin points. Woooo!!!
Pierre Gasly- 6th
I don’t think people talk enough about how much quality Pierre has as a driver. He is class. Had a very decent race, and overtook Lance on the final lap. A very important points haul for him, seeing as Pierre is currently carrying Alpine on his shoulders. Seemed so smiley all weekend, and a very good result.
Max Verstappen- 5th
Red Bull seem to be able to set up for qualifying or the race, but not both. He was pole, and had a fantastic start, safety cars and other incidents compacted the field, and he was taken by Oscar Piastri. He had to avoid a collision when Oscar breaked when the safety car went in, but soon spun out and went down to 10th. He did work his way up, whilst complaining about the car, and did a commendable recovery drive in changeable conditions. His wee thumbs up to Nico Hulkenburg was a lovely thing.
Lewis Hamilton- 4th
Lewis’ start at Ferrari maybe hasn’t been quite as smooth as intended, but this was a quality race for him. He had a few complaints in regards to handling, which caused a few mistakes, but he held it together well. Lewis had been on the podium for each of the last 12 British Grand Prix, and it is sad he lost that run. A great result for him, and hopefully things settle down a bit for him.
Nico Hulkenburg- 3rd
The man of the hour. Driver of the day. After 15 years Nico got his first podium. He benefited from similar tactics as Lance Stroll, except he kept the momentum as the track dried. Nico has been a massively underrated driver in F1, and he just hasn’t had the right car. I believe if he was driving for one of the top field teams, he’d be winning and everything. One of the first people to meet him, was teammate Gabi, who came running over for a hug, and even gave congratulations over the team radio. I was so thrilled for everyone at Stake Sauber, and I hope the party was immense. My driver of the day, by a country mile.
Nico Hulkenburg got his first podium in f1
Oscar Piastri- 2nd
Oscar drove a good race, and controlled it for a large period. The problem is, when the safety car is in, you need to keep the speed consistent enough, it doesn’t cause anyone else problems. Oscar breaked, like he had already during the race, a wee bit too hard, and Max had to swerve to avoid hitting him. It was in plain sight of stewards and cameras, and the telemetrics from the cars was looked at. Oscar got a 10 second penalty for excessive breaking. Which led to him losing a place to Lando. There has been a lot of debate of him on the radio suggesting that if the pitwall thought the punishment was underserved, then tell Lando to slow down so they can switch back, and then race. But Oscar said himself afterwards that it wasn’t going to happen. But if he said nothing, he’d be a pushover, said something, he is a sore loser. There was no winning for him in that situation. To have such a mistake and still get 2nd tells you how McLaren are doing right now. Oscar seemed happier afterwards. Misjudgements happen, mistakes happen, Oscar will learn and move on. Nico also offered him a different perspective of how breaking in that situation can cause a concertina effect further down the line, and easily cause an accident. Which is maybe a perspective the front of the field don’t think about.
Lando Norris- 1st
At the start of the weekend, Lando said he would give all his previous victories up to win at Silverstone. Fortunately for him, all he needed to do was keep calm and drive. Lando is skilled in a wet race, going off previous performances. The build up was huge, Lando sold out the Landostand, full of his fans. His family were in attendance. The points gap between him and Oscar is shrinking. There was pressure, but he delivered. Minimised errors, drove well. Was a very collected drive for Lando. He has learnt from previous mistakes, and the growth shows during events like Silverstone.
Lando Norris and his unmissable Landostand
There was so many discussion points after this Grand Prix, and some fans seemed to go a little too far whilst discussing online. Which is why I thought I’d write here. I thoroughly enjoyed this Grand Prix, and one day I might actually attend.
I am currently going through a phase where I keep catching bug after bug. It is one of the main issues of having an auto-immune disease, like Rheumatoid Arthritis. Whenever people around me contracts some kind of bug, I will pick it up, and I will get knocked for six every time. This is why I am sitting writing this and being all blocked up. I got rid of a cough about 4 weeks ago, and it came back last week. Fabulous timing.
Edinburgh Pride is Saturday, and I will be upset if I am too choked up to go and enjoy myself. I am planning on doing the march again, for the 4th year in a row. It’s always a super fun day, and the weather looks like it will be super sunny. So I just need to focus on taking my medication and hopefully kick it.
It just makes me so tired, because I always seem to have something wrong.
Reading has always been one of those hobbies that I have done since childhood. I love the idea of being able to escape into another world, or learn about something completely outside of my area of expertise. Reading has always been something that is so freeing to me.
I do realise, that reading in itself, is a political act. Not every person can read, government’s don’t allow all kinds of literature to be sold. Historically, reading has been used to subdue the masses by those who are in power. Those who would benefit from people not being able to understand what is going on. This is a way of subduing people and making sure that they only receive the information those in power want them to receive.
It is why I try to read a variety of stuff. I try to divide my reading time between reading fiction and non-fiction. I could be reading period non-fiction, then read a book on the history of Scottish football, and then a book about politics. I like reading about something that I don’t know a lot on, that, to me, is part of the point of reading. To increase my understanding of the world outside of my own experiences. And also understand stuff from different points of view
As a result, I always see something I want to read when I go out. It is why I rarely leave a bookshop without a book. I always buy something. I remember seeing that buying books and reading books are two entirely different hobbies. Unrelated with each other. I am trying to do better, and am renting more from my local library, rather than buy new.
I have a rather serious post I was planning, but then WordPress pinged a notification to my phone. It’s the anniversary for me registering this blog.
16 years feels like a very long time. I started this when I was at college, studying art and graphic design. We had to start a blog to keep track on our progress in our classwork. I, obviously, kept it up.
Blogging, much like myself, has changed a lot over the years. When I first started, it was just another place to rant online. Whether it was popular or read, wasn’t important. It was an outlet, which is how I still think of it.
Now, blogging has been on a bit of a resurgence after a decline. But now, there is a push to monetise everything. Make your writing your business. Like a lot of social media, where it is about building a brand, a niche. In fact, now there are multiple advertisements in using Artificial Intelligence to help create regular posts. As if it is all about quantity over quality.
If an AI post appears on this blog, I’d advise to call for help. I’d much rather dad along on my haphazard way, like I have been doing for the last 16 years. Happy anniversary.
There is an idea that is banded about the internet by self-help gurus and people selling courses, where if you can do one ‘good action’ per day, you can get closer to your goals. Whatever they may be. Which is a good idea. You just have decide what ‘good actions’ actually are.
Because, for me, what is classed as something productive, or a ‘good action’ may change from day-to-day. Today, getting up at reasonable time, cleaning my nespresso machine and making myself an actual coffee, was pretty productive. Other days, I have work, and maybe execrise after a 10 hour shift may be the productive thing. And then, there are the days, that simply eating anything is a good thing. It all depends how my headspace is, and to be honest, as long as I step away from social media and doom scrolling, I tend to be happy.
But to see genuine movement in your life, you need to do things regularly. You need to get into a pattern, practice behaviours so that they almost come naturally to you. That is why I think that there is such a massive market for ‘self-help courses’. People think that if they spend money on something, it will magically make their resolve better and their goals more achievable. It doesn’t quite work like that. It takes a lot of effort to change, and it isn’t some task you can pay someone else to do.
Unfortunately.
Why am I mentioning this? Over the years, I have purchased many self-help guides and courses. And they have all been a waste of money, where, like everything else, I don’t have the follow through to make anything actually stick. Like all the empty journals and diaries which initially hold the promise that ‘this time will be different’. Incidently ‘this time’ wasn’t any different, and things gathered dust rather than being used. My focus is almost like the tide, the largest waves of motivation, is followed by the recoil where all motivation disappears, and eventually the motivation builds up to wave in shore again. It can be so frustrating.
I am left questioning how to start to make things better, in a realistic way. A way that works for me. Is there a way that works for me?
It is my birthday today. I am 41. Birthdays seem a lot less fun than what they used to be. I have spent the day relaxing, and contempating.
That’s all birthdays become once we get older, or that’s what they have become for me. Wondering why is it that I have have seemingly sidestepped what every other adult has decided is the benchmark for life. This belief that if you don’t achieve these pre-existing terms of service, you haven’t lived. No child. No marriage. No mortgage. Being alive, and having a job is expected, but you are looked down on for not doing certain things.
There are times where I can brush it off Tell people that my 20s were where my mental health crumbled. Where suicide wasn’t even a thought, it was actively attempted. My 30s were about trying to pick myself back up again. Was diagnosed with Rhuematoid Arthritis, after years of complaints and fighting with doctors. ‘Horrific cramping in your hands stopping you from doing things? Maybe you just need to go to WeightWatchers.’ It has been hard, and I am feeling better than I did a decade ago. Still not 100%, but better.
But there are times where I feel a loss. Feel like I have been so stupid that I have not been able to be successful. So insecure, that I must be 10000% honest and share everything, and then put my foot in it. Losing out on oportunities. So I then stop saying everything, and try to only say what other’s want to hear. But somehow that is wrong too. It is like every step I take, there is a pothole that causes me to stumble and fall, whilst everyone else walks by unaffected.
This feeling doesn’t go away. And I don’t write about it for sympathy. I write about it to help lessen the weight it hangs around my neck. That getting the thinking out my head, allows me to focus on something else. Sometimes the ‘something else’ is more of the same. But, every once in a while, that ‘something else’ is something a little brighter, a step in the right direction.
Though, it has become abundantly clear, I don’t quite know where the right direction is.
My whole ‘writing more in 2025’ thing really hasn’t worked. Surprise, surprise.
Nothing of any great importance has happened. I have been working, and that’s about it. Well, there has been some nights out, meeting friends, just bobbing along. I have been getting too absorbed in the news, and wallowing in the feeling of ‘what’s the point of it all’ kind of despair. Which is all consuming.
Today, I have tried to focus on uni work, which I have done alright. This unit includes team work, which I think will be interesting, as it includes working as a remote team, like through the internet. Something that I have never done before, every group activity I have done previously has been in person. Which, I find okay. When you are working remotely, you are working alone, and it can be a harder to manage your time. Or, should I mention, harder for me to manage my time. Especially when my brain has been filled with other stuff.
The project involves the group designing a website for a fictional sports group, which should be okay. And it is building a WordPress site. And I sit embarrassed, because despite the fact that I have kept a blog on WordPress for 16 years, I haven’t really done much with designing things on it. Like, yes I have my own domain, but it isn’t used for anything other than a blog, rather than for building an actual customised website. Maybe I haven’t utilised the WordPress tools as much as I should have.
Since I started spending my time online, over 20 years ago, it has been clear that people who gained popularity, were those who focused their attention on a particular topic. Something that I have never been able to do. Even when I used to do my homework at school, I couldn’t just focus on one subject. To work best, I would spent half an hour or so on one subject, then switch to another.
If you take a dander over my blog, you will see this lack of focus, as I write about what is in my head at the time. It could be health related, news related, or just what I have read or watched. I like having a place where I can document things, and I enjoy reading through my previous posts. I like to see what I was doing a few years ago, and normally I will have a wee laugh at my own expense. Which is normal. As you get older, and experience new things, meet new people, your perspective on things can change. What matters to you today, may not be so important in a few years’ time.
Maybe that’s why I tend to ignore the advice from so-called experts, that everyone needs to find their own ‘niche’, and make their content about that. I like to have ways to document my life, a place to put my thoughts, no matter what the topic is. Maybe it is because, that is the kind of content I like best. It feels personal, without a person having the need to give every aspect of their life away.
If you use any social media, you will probably be aware of the news regarding various platforms, and various information on ownership, and the like. It’s wound up with a lot of people being angry, and a lot of discussions on things like censorship. A conversation that started over the last few years on Twitter (X). Where abuse and death threats became the norm.
It seems as if a lot of the users of social media platforms are just coming to the realisation that we users are not the customers. The customers are the shareholders, the advertisers, the marketing teams, the ones who pay money to access the data of the users. That is where the money is. Not the photograph you took for dinner, but the information of where you bought that food, what bank you used, what shop, what brand of product did you buy. A lot of these things are simply things that your smart phone picks up. And that ‘stuff’ is what marketing companies want. That is how the social media companies make money, by showing you advertising that is targeted to you. As social media oligarchs make changes that benefit the money side of the company, but alienates huge portions of their user base.
I use TikTok a lot. I like watching different videos, and I have found a lot of really informative content on it. I like the whole video diary idea, and follow a lot of people who create daily videos in this way. However, different agencies have come out that TikTok is too liberal leaning, that it attacks the more conservative viewpoints. So there came this statement where the US government was going to close TikTok down, with the app actually closing their US app down. For 14 hours. For 14 hours, the rest of the world could access TikTok, and more local content rather than the US stuff. But after that 14 hours US users were welcomed back with a message thanking new US President Donald Trump.
The thing is, when the US users came back online, they noticed some changes. Various hashtags regarding the inauguration of Donald Trump, or LGBTQ+ things were unusable . With users being told that the topic couldn’t be referenced to for the ‘good’ of the TikTok community. People found that LGBTQ+ user pics were removed, with no indication from TikTok as to why. I, in fact ran a trial of my own after discussing the TikTok ban on my own profile, and found it go hardly any views, where as me asking whether people preferred kittens or puppies got my normal views, This, to me, proved that TikTok wasn’t sharing opinions that were negative in anyway about the TikTok ban. In fact, some users reported their videos just disappearing, without any warning or notification from TikTok themselves. This has lead to people talking about censorship, and try and understand why certain voices are being silenced.
The counter-argument was, that nobody cared when conservative voices were being silenced. But the truth is, they weren’t silenced. They maybe had accounts removed from social media, but that tended to be for threatening violence, spreading misinformation, and breaking the platforms terms and conditions. When Elon Musk purchased twitter in 2023, and renamed it X, he also reactivated a lot of the accounts which had been removed due to abuse. These people came back with gusto, as if nobody could stop them. The abuse they sent was awful. As a user who spoke up against them, I didn’t get a discussion, or even blocked, I got death threats. Every day. I didn’t even have a big account, with only a few hundred followers, but the site was rendered unusable. I closed my account in the wake of this, and ended up floating over to Meta’s Threads. Where I made a lot of bookish and formula 1 friends. And I saw the positives of social media again.
It looks like TikTok is going to be in US hands, when its CEO was trained by Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg. And I sit and wonder if this social media ‘fight’ has all been a ruse to make each platform more money, and whittle away the usability for us, the user. I mean, my Facebook and Instagram are currently unusable due to AI, and irrelevant US made bigoted content. What will these big tech billionaires do, if their platforms do become examples of the Dead Internet Theory? Will they simply just buy something else, or stick with their sinking ships? I mean, advertisers won’t pay for things human eye’s don’t actually see.
And then, today, I read the revelation that blogging is back. That people are going to divert away from social media and curate their own online spaces. It’s proof, to me, that if you keep at something long enough, it will eventually come back into fashion again. Look at me, ahead of the trend.
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