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The Manky Hoors: Fuck Everything EP

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It is still the early part of the working week, and your energy may be draining already. You are maybe stuck in a minimum wage job, or just sick of hearing about the ‘powers that be’ abusing their power. Life is a bit of a bastard sometimes and the only thing that can help you work through your anger, is a wee bit of loud music. And The Manky Hoors are perfect for that.

The Manky Hoors are a Scottish punk band, hailing from Rosyth, Fife. Having spent the last several years gigging around the East Coast of Scotland, Fuck Everything is their brand new EP. If you like your punk rock full of fast tunes and sharp lyrics, think of NOFX, Good Riddance or The Vandals, this is the band for you.

The songs are proper fist pumping, scream at the top of your lungs, anthems. Songs that urge the listener to fight against the authority created to keep the normal person in their place. That kind of music is a bit of an antidote for the realities of modern life. Something that there is not nearly enough of in the local music scene in Fife. So, rather than listen to another band that sounds like Oasis stuck in a time warp, try something a bit different. Listen to the full EP below.

Check in with the Manky Hoors on Facebook and become pals. And if you like, share, because that is what the decent thing to do if you like some music.

Thumbs Up!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Today I am feeling very positive. Like that I can take on the whole world. Which is something that doesn’t happen very often. It may be that taking time out and doing things for myself is working, or it may just be that I haven’t been working for most of last week. Either way, it is a nice feeling. And, as I have mentioned before, I want to show a bit more of a balance on her. Making the point of writing when I am doing well, not just when I feel rubbish.

So, I am taking this feeling of positivity and turning it into actual stuff. That stuff includes writing, like this, and getting things ready to shoot a video tomorrow. Yes, I am another person who sometimes vlogs (video blogs). Nothing makes me feel better than expressing myself, and the more avenues I have to do that, the better I feel. I started off well with my vlogs, at the start of the year, but I have since fallen off that horse long ago. But, as I have said before, it is not about not doing something, it is about carrying on with that thing after a period of not doing it. If that makes sense.

I feel buzzed today. As much as I would like to think it is because it was my birthday yesterday, I know it isn’t. Being on the wrong side of 30 kind of has the opposite effect that my birthday used to have. But, I do always take time out of work for my birthday, so maybe it did help. So I was sitting around feeling a bit hyper today. So i decided to do something useful, and spend a while rambling some nonsense. Again.

This post was created under the influence of:

This video by Tessa Violet (Meekakitty)

This song by Good Charlotte

This album by Babymetal

 

Frustration

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

What do you do when you have no motivation? When you can’t find the energy to do anything?

It is something that happens a lot, and when I speak to others, it happens to them too. It is frustrating, something that annoys me a lot. Because I have all these things in my head, but I just can’t process these thoughts into anything substantial. Because of these issues, I feel stifled, almost suffocated. Whether it has been a traditional diary, or writing an online blog, I have written my way through any problems life has thrown at me.

So, as a way to try and pull myself out of whatever ‘funk’ I have been festering in, I am forcing myself to write something. Because that is how we get through life, by being a trouper and carrying on through the shit. It doesn’t sound like much, but the only way that a person can truly get over something  is to force their way through. I have tried ignoring things before, as I have done the last few weeks, and as I said earlier, it really doesn’t work.

But I guess that is a lesson that I have learnt as I have got older. Something that has come from experience of trying to run away from my problems. Whilst ignoring stuff may seem like a solution, it is only temporary. The problems that you avoid, will always come back around for you, and sometimes it is worse than if you had dealt with it at the first opportunity. The quicker that things are dealt with, the less a problem they are in the long run. And, with something like productivity, once you have jumped back on that old bandwagon, it is a lot easier to keep going.

Wasting Time

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It has been one of those weekends which has been a complete waste of time. I over did it on the alcohol over the weekend, and I am at that age where the hangovers last 2 days. Which is nice. I blame Russian Vodka, and the fact that I can’t handle my drink. Or, probably more likely, I can’t handle my half-a-glass measures. I slept most of yesterday away, and today, I still feel iffy.

I guess, you could argue, that is what the weekend is for. Enjoying yourself during your days off from work. But, I’ll be honest, I don’t drink very much. I am not a big fan of ‘getting wasted’, and never have. Like, I do like a few beers every now and then, but not the drinking to get drunk. Sometimes, usually when I mix my own drinks, the more I drink, the bigger the measures, the more drunk I get.

That’s all fine, it happens. I had a good time, and it was fun. Took me an hour and a half to walk the half a mile home, but still, was fun. I just feel guilty about wasting my time off work. Which sounds really stupid. But, I think everyone gets that regret after a night out. You end up questioning every judgement that you have made in the recent past. Wondering where it all went wrong. As if you did something wrong and the hangover is punishment.

But it happens. The best thing is that I have a 3 day weekend, so I will have my busy day tomorrow. That should help me feel like I have achieved something over the weekend. I have stumbled through the last few days in a bit of a haze, with plenty of water and junk food. I now feel human again. Eventually.

A Little Peace

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Trying to find things to keep me calm. The worst thing about suffering from anxiety, is that feeling of utter panic that can rise from just about anything. The thing that I find most difficult is trying to get other people to understand. I went through a bad phase where I would have a panic attack if I didn’t have the right change for the bus. And it made it worse that people behind would complain, despite the bus drivers always being lovely. I don’t know what started me feeling that way, but it is something that could spiral pretty quickly out of control.

The best thing that I did, that helped, was try and find things that would help avoid the situations which panicked me. Like, the bus thing, I’d make sure I always had plenty of change in my purse whenever there was a possibility of me having to catch the bus. It helped. I felt in control with it. The same when shopping, particularly food shopping. I have mentioned my issues with food on here before, and I would get the wrong thing, which would end up with me freaking out. A lot of the time, I would just go home empty handed. And I tried to get round that, by writing up a list, be in it a notebook or on my phone. Thinking about what I needed before being in the store, actually took a lot of the pressure off. I felt like I could just pick up what I had planned, and even had a sense of achievement that I made it out with a load of shopping.

The two examples that I have given are things that have happened most frequently. For the vast majority of the issues that I had with my anxiety happen at random. So, I have to just find ways to try and cool myself down. Force my breathing, the way you have probably heard of. In through the nose, and out through the mouth. By slowing things down, it can sometimes allow your brain to start thinking a little bit, and stop the irrationality that comes with having a panic attack. I always carry my ipod in my bag. On it, there is a playlist of all my favourite songs. From Spice Girls to Cradle of Filth. The music that makes me feel good, and that can make a huge difference. The music distracts me from whatever is going on in my head. And then, when my mind isn’t so ‘racing all over the place’, I can take out my notepad, or my ever reliable phone, and just write stuff. It could be words, complete sentences, or even a rambling post on Tumblr. It helps. It makes me feel like I have let the thing frustrating me, go.

The thing is, that what calms one person down, is different from another person. If anyone is having any problems with anxiety or panic attacks, is to try and think of solutions. Try to have what relaxes you, with you at all times. The biggest solution that I have found is planning. A good plan, can ease many fears that your mind may try to conjure up.

When I was looking for help I went to Mind, whose website has a lot of information about mental health. The page I have linked, deals specifically with advice on dealing with anxiety. Hopefully, it helps someone else, like it helped me.

Points Of Interest

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

What do you like? What ‘stuff’ makes you happy?

Everyone has different things that makes them ‘tick’. Something that inspires them to get through a tough day. Something that helps them unwind and relax. Something that cheers them up when they are sad. Things mean different things to different people.

I have lots of different things that make me happy. They are mostly food, music and football. The food one is unhealthy. I have a habit of ‘eating my feelings’, which is never a good thing. If I feel like crap, I eat crisps and lots of fatty snacks. It is one of these things that I know is unhealthy for me, but I still do it. Because it has become a coping mechanism, when trying to deal with those down periods in life. It seems easy because it is something simple, buying the stuff is the hardest part. But when done, I feel bloated and rubbish for an entirely different reason. I am trying not to be too hard on myself, as I have to re-train myself on how I deal with things. And that takes time. Yes, I am slowly moving away from relying on comfort eating, but it I’m not there yet.

As mentioned, i have grown up being a fan of both football and music. I support my local team Dunfermline Athletic, and at the moment they are flying high in Scottish League 1. The team are 5 wins away from lifting the title, and winning promotion back to the Championship. I have always loved football, but when I lost my job a few years ago, I turned to football. Dunfermline were going through it a bit, they went into administration. It felt like what I was going through with my lack of job, was mirrored in the what was going on with the club. Fortunately, they have built themselves back up slowly over the years, as have I. Seeing how close the club were to the brink, gives me hope, knowing they got through it.

Music was a big thing for me, particularly when I started getting bigger problems with my mental health. I felt so alienated by how I was feeling, and nobody around me understood. But, music helped. Listening to albums by Good Charlotte, Rancid, Blink 182, etc, helped me feel not so alone. Through the internet, mostly band forums, I was able to connect with fans of the bands that I had come to love. Some of these fans were going through the same stuff as I was, so we helped each other. It’s not just though, sometimes listening to Cattle Decapitation can lift me after a shit day at work. Britney Spears’ Greatest Hits might wake me up in the morning. NWA have always made me want to paint and be creative. Different music effects my mood differently.

Which all sounds awesome, and it is. For me. What doesn’t help are people’s reactions on what makes me better. Noone thinks that I am overweight because I couldn’t talk to anyone. People seem to believe that you can’t like certain types of music, if you like football. But anyone can like anything. Anyone can rely on anything to cope. It is not for anyone to take away from something that another person likes. You should be the person who decides what you like. Nobody else.

When You Say Nothing At All

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I haven’t been updating over the last few weeks. Sorry about that. I have just been going through a phase where I haven’t been able to find the words for what is on my mind. Which is a very suffocating feeling when you are forever noting little things down, and all of a sudden nothing seems to happen. I have been sitting with a pen in my hand, or with a blog post open, and nothing happened.

It’s not that things haven’t been happening in my life, in fact, more the opposite. Work has been going well, I have been going out, and generally feeling very relaxed. Now, normally I would say I find it harder to write when things are going well, because I don’t have anything to rant and rave about. But, that hasn’t been the case either. I have had some times, where I have been really, really down. Those times were I have lay in my bed, and cried my eyes out. That is when I would normally try and write something, but it hasn’t happened.

So today, I had some time and thought I would do something. It is something that makes me feel productive, and made myself sit at the computer for a while. I originally was planning a pinball game that I bought off Steam, but it’s refusing to load. So, that has got my agitation up enough to have a wee ramble. But, I do feel guilty if I don’t check in with this blog every now and then. Sometimes writing nonsense is better than writing nothing, as it helps me get out of whatever funk I may find myself.

Hopefully I get can get things back to normal. But I guess it is important to never stop trying at something. It is knowing that although things may not happen at first try, you are still willing to give stuff another go. That is a good way to look at life, when I think about it. Just be persistent at aiming for things that you want to do. If you simply give up, you will never know what may have happened. Giving up brings with it the regrets you get with missing out.

Technological Clearout

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been feeling a bit bogged down when I have been trying to use my computer and iPad. They are both filled up with gimmicky games and apps that I don’t really use anymore. Some of them have only been used once or twice. And they just, make it a pain to use the device they are installed on.

Now, when it comes to apps and games, whether on my iPhone or through my Steam account, I always end up going to the free games and apps. The stuff that advertises other games every time you lose a life. Or that runs so slowly, it completely ruins the user experience. What is the point of a note-taking app, that asks you to sign up for the premium version, every time you make a note. It frustrates me A LOT. So, I end up downloading other apps, to replace the app which is getting on my nerves. And this pattern could go on, and on. And it means that, much like my bookshelves, my devices start to run out of space thanks to all these unnecessary things installed.

So, today, I deleted a ton of old applications of both my laptop and my iPad. Something that I have been needing to do, particularly on my ipad, which had apps going on for 10 pages. Yes. I actually downloaded that much crap, and I would be lucky to use even half of them. So, the games that annoyed me with adverts, or crashing, I deleted. I put the games I like into folders, and made my front page full of the apps that I actually use the most. Which, is mostly social media apps. I do like my social media.

The result is, that I feel like I have new devices. They run smoother, and everything is so much easier to find. Part of me knows, that within a few weeks, things will start to pile up again, but maybe I can keep on top of it. App hoarding isn’t healthy, for you or your device. As a person, it is always good to let go of the stuff that you no longer use, out of your life. Help yourself be more organised.

Always Learning

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

There is a problem with education in this country. It has the habit of ruining things which a lot of pupils cam be passionate about. I know that when I was younger, I lost my love of reading, after being forced to write laborious essays and questions on books read during class. I think it was the idea of constantly having my thoughts on novels that I loved critiqued, really sucked any joy out of the reading process for me. 

Over time, my love for reading anything and everything came back to me. I found that I loved reading different types of writing, from formal articles on science to trashy magazines. I love the variety that can be created by the written word. 

As I have gotten older, I have discovered that I do love to learn new things. It was just the formal setup of school, that didn’t agree with me. The biggest problem for me, was, as mentioned above, the constant testing. The constant nagging that you weren’t good enough, just ruined that period of my life. I was beginning to struggle with my mental health, and my grades started to suffer when I couldn’t actually use the things I loved to relax, because I was getting assessed on them 

Now my mental health is a lot better these days, I am trying to make the best of things and try to learn more. I have found a service called Future Learn, which provides free courses online. The courses run from a few weeks, to a couple of months, and are run with the help of many universities from all over the world. The course that I have signed up for, is Community Journalism, which is a 5 week course run by Cardiff University. The course has a variety of steps for every participant to complete every week, with a final test and the option to get a certificate upon completion. The best thing about Future Learn is that there is a wide variety of topics, something for everybody. You can also communicate with people also participating in the course, which means I have the ability to talk to people all over the world. It’s great. 

So, if you are interested in a topic that you would like to study into further, but you maybe don’t have the money to enroll in a course, don’t have the time to study full-time or just want to learn a bit more about something. I recommend that everyone pops onto Future Learn and has a look around and see if there is anything you fancy. Because education is about enlightenment, not examinations.

Positive Change

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

So we are in February already. Usually the quick passing of time gets me quite depressed, but not at the moment. I feel like 2016 has got off to a fantastic start so far. Even with the few road bumps that have occurred.

I feel like I have always been quite open in here, as I have attempted to deal with the mental health issues that I experience. I spent 2015 trying to learn how to deal with bad stuff that happened to me. The biggest problem, is that for years I have struggled at looking past anything negative. I was upset about things that had happened, and worried about things that could have happened in the future. It’s really so stressful.

So, I have put a lot of effort into try to focus all my energy on making every day, better that the day before. Which is hard, almost like re-training yourself. Which is hard, because it sometimes feels like society trains us to be overly negative, just by the tone everything is. Sometimes, it feels like we are expected to be overly critical of ourselves, something that starts at school. We are taught, or I feel like I was, that I could work my arse off, but sometimes it wasn’t good enough. And, I think that has bred the anxiety that has caused me issues as I’ve grown up.

But, by focusing on now, and doing the things that satisfy me, I have been a lot happier. If something bad happens, I’ll still feel bad about it, but I’ll also do something that makes me happier. This helps move my focus on from what is negative. And by that simple thing of changing my focus, I stop thinking about whatever bad thing has happened.

I talk about it a little more in the video below