Category: ramblings

The Springing of Spring!

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

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It’s becoming that time of the year where a certain freshness is in the air, with lighter evenings and blooming flowers. Where the ‘stripped back’ appearance of winter disappear as the world starts to grow and become bright again. I love Spring. It’s like the world is becoming alive again, and it is so beautiful. It’s the best time to go for walks and explore where you live.

This time of year makes me realise how great it is to live where I do. Not everyone can walk along the coast, and paddle in sea water. Depending on where I walk, I can pick up sea shells or flowers. It is my favourite thing to do, and in the winter you don’t get the chance to enjoy walks so much.

There is also this sense of nature restarting a cycle, be it lambing on a farm or the flowering of plants on a nature walk. It’s like things start again, and have another go. Which is a nice thing to think of. Whilst, starting again completely may not be always necessary, it’s a great reminder that nature always ambles on.

Trees often look dead in the winter. In spring, the leaves bud and life seems to come back. It’s a good metaphor for life when you think about it. When things appear dead, life can still go on. So the main thing, is to keep your head down, and try again. Nature has created you to keep on fighting through, like everything around you.

A Weighty Issue

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

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Sometimes in life we stand out, and are made to feel insecure by others. It happens to everyone at one point of their lives, be it school or workplace, or even at the supermarket. It can zap away all your confidence, and make you feel less than nothing.

I have had the most experience in this with my weight. Where it seems to be okay for people to ask me if my thinner friend is single, but nothing else. It is also apparently okay for people to call me names for being fat. Now being the ‘overweight friend’ my whole life, I know what shape I am, and I don’t expect to be shouted at by strangers about it. Most of the time, a couple of deep breathes can get me over the angst I feel, but sometimes the comments get stuck in my head. At it’s times that I can get worked up. I cry myself to sleep at night and just hate myself.

I have been reading about ‘fat appreciation’, something that gets posted about mostly on Tumblr, from my experience. It tells overweight people not to feel ashamed about their bodies, and learn to love who they are. But the very idea of making unhealthy people feel good about themselves gets a lot of bad responses. ‘Why should people feel good about being fat pigs?’

I believe that a lot of people, like myself, eat when they are unhappy. And the negative reactions that we can sometimes get from people we don’t even know, can make us very unhappy. It is a known fact that happy people are more proactive in general, hence workplaces spending millions making their workers happier. If an overweight person feels better with themselves, then they may stop gorging on crisps, and will chance going for a walk or to the gym. And the best thing is, if they feel good about themselves, then any negativity that is thrown in their direction, has more chance of being ignored. Also, if a person can learn to love themselves, then anything else that they want to seems a little more in hand’s reach.

Opinion?

~ Sue ~ 2 Comments

Opinions are like arseholes. Everyone has one.

That statement is very true. I feel it also gives the idea that an opinion is something negative. It is like the quotation above feels that opinions are wasteful, due to the part of the body that it compares it with. It’s the part of the body that gets rid of all the leftovers. So, all the expression contains some truth, I find it to be an unfair analysis. It is a rather poor attitude to have on the subject of opinions.

Of course everyone does have, and are entitled to, their own opinion. The problem is, that people believe that they can change the opinion of others. An honest opinion is created with a person’s own thoughts and ideas. They think about what they have experienced, and craft their own thoughts on a particular subject. That makes having an opinion a very personal process, and I don’t believe that someone else should try to change it. Because if a person has an opinion, they have thought about a topic, and they believe themselves to be right.

And that is where problems occur. If you personally believe something is right, and someone tries to convince you otherwise, it can be hard not to get offended. So people defend their opinion, and those of different opinions clash.

I feel that if I wish for people to respect my opinion, then I should respect theirs. It’s simple, and should be very simple to understand. And it could be relatable to subjects such as religion, politics, eating habits and favourite bands. Respecting what others think is a big part of what is wrong in today’s society. Too many people let their own opinion become a blockade towards relating with others. For example, I know people, who shall remain nameless, who won’t associate with people who are religious, because they don’t believe in it. The religious folk are lovely, but people’s own intolerance stop them from seeing that.

Why is it that people strive to be so different, but then won’t accept the differences of others?

Love What You Have

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

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The last week has lead to people looking around in shock after the terrible events in Connecticut. There is very little that people feel like they can do. All they can do is try to think about how they’d feel. You look at your family and friends, and feel at a loss at what you would do if you were caught up in a bad situation like that.

My cat, Billy, (pictured above) is a suck-up of a lil’ kitty. Well, he is when he wants something. But when I feel a bit low, he comes up for a cuddle, and pesters me. It’s cute. He helps me feel a little valued. When lost or confused about something, a lot of people turn to their pets.

I think that when we such despicable acts of evil, the love that we see in our pets can be comforting. With fresh food every day and a scratch on the belly, a cat or dog will be your best friend. And being able to see that there is good in the world, could help people make sense of the hatred and despair they see.

This is the nonsensical way I think about things. Well, it makes sense to me.

Opinion Time

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Why does your opinion matter?

It’s because opinion is something that you create using your own thoughts and ideas. It’s something that can be really personal, and something that a person can really value.

So when someone disagrees with your opinion, it’s understandable to get defensive. You feel emotional attached to your opinion, and it feels like when someone attacks them, they attack you and what you believe in.

So remember that, when you come up with an opinion that you don’t agree with. That person has crafted their belief from their own thoughts and ideas. That makes their opinion just as important as yours. Treat it with the same respect as you expect your opinion to be.

If you don’t respect what others believe in, why should they respect you?

Silence

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

A deathly silence has come over EVERYTHING.

Well. Just my blog, actually.

I’m still fairly active here. But that isn’t what I class as a proper blog. I think that may make me into a bit of a snob. But to have an active Tumblr blog all you really need to do is repost things. I have been using it more for complaining and moaning. Which is something I do a lot on the internet.

I have been down in the dumps, and I don’t think that is a place I want to take this blog to. Yes, I moan at times, but I try not to do it continuously, because it just becomes a bit monotonous. And whilst I am not the most exciting person in the world, I want to show different sides of myself on here.

This is has been a rambling mess. Goodbye 😉

10,000 Blog Views?

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

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10,000 views for this blog. It may not seem very much to some, but it is a milestone that passed a few weeks ago. I have no idea how my nonsense managed to get that many views, especially when my own visits aren’t counted.

I have been through quite a journey over the last several years, and this blog has documented it. I maybe haven’t gone as far as I would have liked in my ‘career’, but I have learnt a lot about myself and who I am. And, I think that is the best thing to come out of this blog. That despite everything, I am proud of the person who I have become. I am thankful as I reminisce about periods of my life I didn’t appreciate because I was so self-obsessed and depressed (2 things that incidentally are very closely connected).

That is maybe why I am so overbearingly PMA right now. Most of my early 20s were filled with me wanting to kill myself, because I saw myself as a failure. I spent night, after night alone, and this ‘ lack of a life’ became the focus of EVERYTHING. And when you spend all your time thinking about something so negative, it does get you down. It was only when I started forcing myself to do things as small as going for walks, that I left behind my negative mindset. And it has changed my life.

So here I am sitting on my bed, blogging from my iPad (laptop charger is toast) and wondering about who reads my crazy ramblings. Whether I have influenced someone, or whether someone has found comfort in what I have written. These may seem like ‘lofty ambitions’, but it is the magic of words. How letters and words typed by someone you don’t know can help you through something. It’s really beautiful really, and I think every writer, be it blogger, journalist, novelist or anything, wants their words to connect with people. To find an audience, and to speak to them.

The fact that people even glance at what I have to say, gives me a sense of achievement. And I want to thank every person who has ever read my blog at all. Thank you for keeping my dreams alive. I really appreciate it.

Regular as Clockwork

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have heard recently, that an active blog should be updated a couple of times a week. This doesn’t inundate readers with daily posts, but it let’s them see that you are still active. Okay, it was advice on Vlogging on YouTube, but I guess the same rules could apply to blogging.

Usually, if I go on a kick and blog EVERYDAY, I will do it for so long, and suddenly stop. It’s like I have overdosed on it, and then can’t find anything else to say. So I go from blogging daily, to not blogging for a month. I thing part of blogging is habit, if you get yourself out of the habit of posting, then it is hard to get back into it.

I think that writing 2 blogs a week is a good target. Something that seems a little bit easier to do that blogging every day. But, we’ll see. Hopefully, if I get back into the swing of things, there shouldn’t be too many more blogs about blogging. 🙂

Looking For Sue

~ Sue ~ 1 Comment

I am the kind of person who has always thought for herself. Mostly because I have always spent a lot of my time on my own. Also, because I had no one to really ‘bounce ideas off’, I just came to my own conclusion on things.

When I was younger, I struggled with it. I struggled that the person who I wanted to be was not the same as everyone else. I just wanted to understand the workings of the world a bit better, and find a way to contribute to the world. Whereas everyone else at school, had decided at 12 what they would do, and we’re going to stick to that path. In fairness, all my friends that were that focused on their future career, got what they wanted. And for that, I am proud and have a lot of respect that they ‘stuck it out’ and got where they wanted to be.

I just wasn’t that focused. I thought that there had to be more about life that just getting a great job. I visited museums and art galleries on my own, I just tried to find out who I was. To me, being the person I wanted to be, was more important than any vocation. Which is why I maybe flunked college when I went. Twice. But I look it those ‘failures’ as character developments. Both times I attended college, I discovered a lot about myself, and continued my search to find the person who I wanted to be.

I became so focused on me, my relationship status rarely changed from single, which is still the same today. But I found a person I am happy to be, and that is more important to me. The only relationship that should have all your attention, is the one with yourself. Because if you don’t love you, how can you expect anyone else to?

I try to educate myself regularly. I love reading books on history and politics. And I have recently taken to teach myself French (after I attempted it at school, but have forgotten 99% of it). I feel that over the last few years, I have moved greatly towards the person I want to be. I just cut my Mohawk again, for the first time in 6 months, and I feel like me. And from someone who has struggled with herself for most of her life, this is a revelation. It makes me feel successful, although people looking at my life, may disagree.

I am the kind of person who: is compassionate, has kick-ass music taste, ponders a lot, reads 3 books at once, puts subtitles on movies because I want to listen to music at the same time, has a strong dislike for the colour pink, interested in politics, interested in science, grrl gamer, is intelligent, is a bookworm, opinionated, is accepting, non-religious, argumentative, childish, queer, tattoo addict, fashion reject.

All these things make me who I am. What makes you who you are?

I’m Addicted To You

~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I was watching some show on TV last night, that talked about how easily people can become addicted to things. Be it narcotics or sky diving, people get addicted the good feeling, that comes with a particular activity. Everyone has something that they are addicted to. Whether it is watching Coronation Street without fail, having a whiskey every night or topping up your fake tan. There is something that you can do every day without thinking, something that you do because it makes you happy.

If that is the case, why do people like drug addicts and alcoholics become the most hated people in modern society. They aren’t really any different to you, except they just ‘get their kicks’ in a different way. It is just their addictions can lead to problems with their own bodies, and behaviour problems that effect the general public. So the final outcome of their addiction may be problematic, but do they deserve the damning that the majority of people give them.

I don’t think so. If you expect someone to accept that you are addicted to looking and feeling a certain way, surely alcoholics and drug addicts are no different. They, like us all, are just looking for something to help through life, and make things easier. Everyone has something that makes life a bit easier to cope with it. So why demean others for doing the same thing?