Documenting Life?

June 2, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I love capturing what is happening around me. Whether it is drawing a picture, writing things down or taking a photo, it is important for me to document it. Always has been.

Some people seem to think that by documenting every little detail, you can miss out on the simple things in life. Which I guess can be true, in some ways. But I feel like it is more me appreciating the different ways of looking at every day. Even the boring days have their moments where I might think about something, or see something that interests me. I find it really releasing to write down or draw when I feel bad.

I think it is very important that if you decide to document your life using avenues, such as blogging, that you don’t share every little thing. It is important to share my thoughts and experiences rather than the details. Like, a lot of people I know, will gladly spend time with me, but don’t want their life shared with people they don’t know. And as well as that, a lot of people don’t feel comfortable seeing or reading things that are super personal. I don’t think that you need to share EVERYTHING to document things.

I guess I find it hard to explain how I can spend so much time sharing online, without telling absolutely everything to people. But it comes natural to me, I have so many ways to document how I feel and what I experience, I am in the habit of focusing on different things. Like this blog is general pondering, Livejournal is more of what I have been up to and Tumblr is just things I find funny or enjoy. And I like having that separation. I find that it helps me organise my mind better.

Dear Younger Self

June 1, 2014 ~ Sue ~ 2 Comments

It doesn’t matter whether some person you don’t know doesn’t like you. It doesn’t matter what they think of you, or call you when they think your back is turned. You don’t need to waste sleepless nights on people that won’t give you a second thought. Try and associate with people who like you for you, and won’t berate you to others.

Life is a bit bumpy. It is for everyone, it’s just that the bumps can be different dependent on the person. It is okay to realise that these ‘bumps’ are too big for you to deal with and you need a little help. And when you ask, you’ll find out that those around you are struggling too. By reaching out, you will make friendships stronger, rather than pushing folk away, like I know you want to. Hiding might seem easier, but it always makes problems so much worse. Asking for help is nothing to be afraid of, and there are so many things in place to help make things better to cope. You are not weak for needing assistance because you can’t deal, so go and get some.

The careers in animal care and graphic design, don’t really go to plan. Which is sad, but you kept your head up, and that is great. Not everyone gets an attempt at trying what they want to do from childhood, and you did. Okay, it didn’t go your way, but you learned from it and moved on. That takes guts and determination. Never ever lose that. It is something that most people lose as they get older. Everyone has to try new things, no matter their age, and try to follow it through as far as you can. The end result is not what matters when you remember the journey so fondly. Go you!

Just remember to always have faith in yourself, fight for what you believe in and never change for someone else. You have a lot more than you’d think.

Love Sue

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This was an extract written in one of my old journals. I thought it was a nice idea, particularly that it is a rare thing I write about myself focusing on postive things. It was a challenge I saw on some program, where if you cheer for yourself, you can feel better. And it helped me feel awesome when I wrote it, and typing it into this blog post also made me feel better. It is a tricky thing to d0, but it does help when you feel a bit low. Give it a try.

Happy List

May 20, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I haven’t been posting the last week or so, because I have been struggling to come up with anything constructive. I have had a few really bad anxiety days, and haven’t been able to focus on anything but that. So, in a bid to distract myself, I thought a little list of things that have made me happy over this last week. A bit of a reminder that life isn’t all bad.

-Music has helped me relax. There was a stage where I believed music was everything, but it isn’t. It just helps block out the bad thoughts and the irritants around me. It helps me focus on what I need to do for myself, which is what I need to do. Because it feels like noone else gives a shit about what happens to me, so I’d better start.

-Going for walks. I am rather lucky that I live in a place where I can walk through towns, forests or through towns. I find walking super relaxing and chills me out a lot. I can do a lot of thinking, and it is super good for my health. I don’t do enough for my health really.

-The weather has been pretty awesome. I am not a person who loves the heat, but the fact that it has been dry is enough to put me in a kick ass mood. The fact that the sun has been out when I go and finish work has had such an impact on my mood. Because I think that it is a little depressing when it feels you miss the whole world. And when the days are longer, it makes you feel like there is more going on for longer. Sounds daft, but it’s true.

-Working hard helps me forget my problems sometimes. It can be super busy at work sometimes, and because you are physically moving all day, it can help forget worries. But you have to be able to let yourself become absorbed by what your doing, which can be hard when your brain is going a million miles an hour.

-Having a strong sense of who I am, and the person I want to be. The last week or so, several people have attacked me personally, for how I act or what I believe in. I have been called a tease because I told a guy I was gay, and didn’t to go home with him. I have been called a bitch because I am offended when some of my so called friends told me I over-reacted. If I was drunker, that man could have taken me home with him for god knows what, despite me saying I am gay. That is disgusting. I didn’t do anything wrong, and am confident enough to know that, to know that society is wrong. They make excuses time and time again for men who think it is their right to have sex with whatever women they chose. I am proud that I stood up for myself, no matter how horrible I felt.

The Sea Air

May 13, 2014May 12, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I love the sea air, I love walking on the beach. It is relaxing. The sound of the waves crashing is the only sound as you feel your troubles melt away. It is a luxury that not everyone has, or takes. But everyone should. Enjoy your local surroundings, and relax.

IMG_0291[1] — +Forth Rail Bridge, North Queensferry+

Expectations?

May 12, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

When I tell people I like to blog a lot some have asked me about ‘outfits of the day’. I am gathering this is such a ‘hot topic’ because it seems like every female blogger talks about fashion and what they are wearing. Which is fine, but I feel that it has been expected for every female to run their blog like a fashion blog. That isn’t true, and shouldn’t be.

Everyone is different and if they run a blog, they should do so because it matters to them. There is no point trying to force something just because it is on trend. Yes, it could garner attention for a blog, but the chance of the blog being updated when it isn’t about something of interest is not likely. It sucks the fun right out of something, if someone is forced to talk about something they have no interest in.

Fashion is very popular for a reason, it is a good way to express yourself, I get it. I just have never focused on fashion. I dress to be comfortable, and that is pretty much jeans and a t-shirt. And I don’t see the big deal. I don’t wear make-up, I don’t buy much clothes, i don’t get my nails done… I just don’t subscribe to the ‘beauty lifestyle’. I never have. I have been a tomboy my whole life, and I don’t see that changing. I believe in substance over style. Not that there is anything wrong with being into fashion and things. I just express myself in different ways.

Bad Day?

May 7, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

Everyone has those days. Those days where you just want to hide in your bed and forget the world exists.

I have a lot of bad days, and I am trying to find the best way to deal with them. Because if something bad happens, it weighs on my mind and bothers me for weeks afterwords. When you go through periods of bad days, it can be tiring when your mind just replays what happened.

A suggestion was that a new day is a new opportunity. Forget what happened yesterday as you can’t change what happened. What you can do, is strive to make tomorrow better. That is sometimes all you can try and do, aim to be better

Set Topic

May 6, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

I have been on the internet a lot, just browsing various websites and blogs. It appears that there is this mass unappreciation of any audience on the internet. By tying a blog into a particular topic, you become part of a particular community, and you get more page views and subscribers as a result. If a particular movie or game gets a new release, and you frequently blog about it, you will get more views. And if you post frequently, you will get more visitors from being a part of that online community. This is something great, that communities and fandoms are helping to create and promote content amongst one another. You make friends on other websites, you get ‘shout outs’ and promotion to other people that share your interest.

And as a solo blogger, I look at these blogs in awe. I have random interests, that peak and wain every now and then, and what I post relates to that. I love writing what is on my mind, as I started blogging for me, and documenting my life. I really don’t want to heavily promote other people’s products, just because I have blocked myself into writing about certain things. I know, from my own experience, that I don’t have the momentum to stay on the same topic too long, as I have so many things rushing around in my brain. So it would be more likely if I had one thing to post about, that my blog would die. And that would be a very sad thing. To me.

I still get excited over every view my blog gets. That someone even thought to glance at what I have created. It may be one or two people, but it matters to me. Although, I did start this blog for myself, it is nice to think that someone likes what I write. Even if it is just one post. Maybe I like this style of blogging, because I don’t feel I am selling a product to someone. I mean, if I see a movie or hear an album I like, I may promote it, I just don’t feel I could do it constantly. And, call me crazy, but when a company starts giving you free products to review, it’s only so you can play sales person. There is no impartiality, which there needs to be in any review. Same when people get too involved with fan communities, you can pass the mark of being impartial, and it can impair judgement. It turns into how well you promote a thing, rather than appreciating that someone read what you created.

Those are just my thoughts, though.

Happy 5th birthday

May 5, 2014May 5, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

3rd of May 2009 was the day I logged started an account on WordPress. A lot has happened in that 5 years and over 500 posts, and, in my usual form, I missed the actual day. So this is a belated celebration.

The original idea of this blog was to document my life as a graphic designer, something that kind of went a bit wrong. I still aspire to get paid for creating things one day, but if it ends up with being a hobby, I think I’m okay with it. I have also ended up loving writing a lot more than I did originally. I have documented a lot of my thoughts and feelings into posts, and as a result I have grown rather fond of this place.

I have been able to speak my mind, and say things in a way they matter to me. That is something that is rather liberating, and a luxury that not everyone can have. I am thankful to have a place where I can write my thoughts so freely. Blogging is something I’d advise every person to do, it’s a great way to release pressure.
It has helped me through a lot.

Oops

May 3, 2014May 3, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

It’s easy to fall behind in things. Get to absorbed in a part of your life, that you forget something. That happened with blogging this week, as I have been so pre-occupied with other things.

But it’s okay. People do forget things.
It’s part of our nature, and it is certainly not anything to feel ashamed about. This is something that I need to tell myself over and over, that it is okay to forget things every now and then. I have a habit of berating myself when I don’t do something. And I make myself feel so bad that I actually don’t do that thing again for a while. That’s what has happened before. I make myself feel so bad, that I don’t want to blog again.

But not this time. I have been trying to change a few things that I do, so that I am not quite so negative, or panicky. It doesn’t sound like much, but by changing small things gradually, it can hopefully make a big change. So by not beating myself up at every mid-step, I can focus on the actual activities themselves, and enjoy it more. Because fear of failure is the main reason i don’t do something.

And I’ll tell you what, I certainly feel better writing about stuff, than I do beating myself up over a mistake. Maybe I can transfer this to other parts of my life?

Just Do It

May 2, 2014April 30, 2014 ~ Sue ~ Leave a comment

A lot of people seem to believe that good things happen to those who wait. They pray for opportunities and constantly plan for a career that is just a pipe dream.

There is nothing wrong about dreaming for a better life. Hoping for
better can get you through a tough time. But remember if you want something you have to get the wheels in motion YOURSELF. There is no point saying you want to do something, if you are just waiting for things to happen without taking any steps yourself.

Do your self a favour and start making things happen. They more you do, the more things will change.