I have been writing in various forms since I was a child. I write about what is going on in my life, what I enjoy, and the struggles of dealing with chronic illness and mental health issues. I love live music, football (Scotland and Dunfermline Athletic), reading, Formula 1, Stock Cars, and eating lots of vegan crap.
Every December I seem to be surprised at how quick the month comes in. I always start with the best in between intentions, like this years plan, where I bought 1 gift in November, and thought I had it sussed. I was going to be so prepared for once. I was so proud of myself. But, I then didn’t buy anything else till last week. Good job, me.
I like this time of year. Christmas decorations everywhere, dark nights, crap telly, lots of food, and spending time with the people that matter. It is nice, and it feels like people are a bit happier.
This week, I did buy the rest of the gifts for people. Between shopping in Livingston, and Amazon. And today, I sat and wrapped everything. So, I feel very accomplished.
I haven’t been mentally great the last few months, and have been burying myself in my interests. Or, the ones I have focus for. Formula 1 is one of the things I throughly enjoy, I have done since I was little. Like, one of my favourite computer games from my childhood was Nigel Mansell’s World Championship Racing for the Game Boy. I remember watching Nigel Mansell on the TV, and thought he was so cool. I have been a fan of formula 1 since then. As, I got older, I went from being a general fan, to supporting all the drivers, but liking McLaren as a team. And, after watching some of the feeder series in the mid-to-late 2010s, I started following Lando Norris. And was thrilled when he joined the McLaren junior driver program. Never really thought I’d be here in October 2025, where McLaren have won the F1 championship, and Lando, and his team-mate Oscar Piastri, are close to winning the driver’s championship.
I am from an era where social media was MySpace and Bebo. Where special interests were discussed at great lengths on web forums, with deep dives of particular tracks, teams or drivers. Yes, there were arguments, but if things became too intense, members would get warnings off admins. If a user got repeat warnings, they would end up banned from the forum. The admins were just forum users who had shown good behaviour towards other members, and showed good behaviour. A bit like mods on twitch streams. It was basically the members keeping each other in-line, and making sure that there was no abusive behaviour. It worked really well, mostly. There were always people who would cry about the FIA favouring certain drivers, and teams. But, usually these chats would be argumentative, but nothing too severe.
Now, it feels like every fan space is the same. They exist on pre-existing social media services. Stuff like TikTok, Facebook, Threads, Twitter (X), there is quite a few. The big issue, I find, is that there has been a big shift in how content is moderated. There is has been a shift away from community self-moderation, towards the social media companies doing it instead, relying on AI to enforce the rules. What this has lead to is something rather inefficient. Where social media companies remove posts, and even accounts, because of something like improper word use (e.g. the word ‘gross’), whereas actual threatening behaviour is reported, and nothing is done.
It is like any existing rules are not enforced fairly, which I think leads to quite horrific behaviour. Where fans are sending co-ordinated threats to drivers, family members, team members, and even other fans. And, these threats seem to be over nothing. Someone shares their opinion, abuse. Someone tries to share facts that they know of, which can help understanding of a particular rule or event, abuse. It’s all a bit odd. And every little incident that happens on track, or in the paddock, can be ammunition to hate other drivers and their fans. Sites like TikTok have lots of deepfakes, some with drivers dancing, but others have AI generated videos of a driver hugging and kissing them, the fan. It is beyond disturbing.
There are also ‘news sites’, where people (and AI) create articles based on nothing. Not even rumours. A lot of the time they are opinion pieces, often based on rumours they start themselves. They are often based on whatever conspiracy theories are gaining traction on social media, and often just spread the lies out to a wider audience. The fans, who are already agitated over conspiracy theories, get even more angry. And, they take it out on other people who are often just calling out the bullshit.
I am finding that it is tearing the heart out of whatever community is trying to exist. Where people are attacked for saying anything. There isn’t a sense of enjoyment brought from a joint experience of something great. It becomes stressful. It has left me wondering, recently, is it worth it? Probably not. I have found friends, who I value, and love chatting to every race weekend. And, I don’t want to leave that. But, as the 2025 season drifts along towards the latter stages, I am left wondering if reconnecting with the F1 community that I had been missing for years, is something worth the worry? Is it still something worth stressing over?
I have recently been posting prompt posts. Partially because I have had a completely lack of creative motivation, but also because I just feel stuck in a rut. So, I have to retain myself, hold back, so that I am not simply whining all the time. Which is something very easy for me to do.
I am currently ambling along, just keeping myself to myself. Work, come home, do nothing, eat crap, not meet up with people, ignore texts, just sit and wallow. It’s one of the these things where I just feel like a burden to myself, so why push myself onto anyone else. I just feel useless. Like, if the world was a giant swimming pool, I’d be the person in the corner, struggling to keep my head above water, as I doggy paddle in a shallow edge.
There is this idea, which I’ve seen posted around social media, which states that to make a positive change in your life, you need to start by making small daily changes. One positive thing a day. That positive thing may not be something huge, it could be making your bed when you get up in the morning, putting some laundry on, or even remembering to brush your teeth. The idea is that the more you do these ‘small things’ the easier it is to get yourself moving and those ‘big goals’ can seem more reachable.
It also means, that if you start off by doing these small things, your mindset changes. You achieve something before you even get started on your day. Which, if you are someone like me, who struggles to do anything when the routine of work is not present, it is super helpful.
So what did I do today? I made my bed, and opened my curtains. And jogged to the bus stop this morning. I am actually feeling better for it. I just need to keep going.
Since I was a child, I have experienced music running through my mind. Whether it was the hymns sung at Sunday School, recently discovered pop music, the bouncing beats to some ska, or the thunderous drums of black metal. I have always had something soundtracking my day, running alongside my thoughts.
Outside my head, the music that connects with me depends on my mood. Happy, maybe some Steps. Angry, maybe time for some Cannibal Corpse. Pissed at the world, Bad Religion. Trying to amp myself up for a day at work? Faithless. Want to do some artwork, NWA. Different music genres and bands motivate me in different ways, and it’s something that has become a hug coping mechanism for me.
If it were all to disappear, I don’t really know what I would do. How would I fill the void left behind? I think I would get more crabbit (grumpy), as the only noise around would be people, machines, and other worldly sounds. I would get especially annoyed at people, as I don’t want to hear their nonsense. I suppose, those noises would maybe become entertainment for me.
Funnily enough we were talking about this at work the other day. Like, what would you do with enough money to get your dream home?
I wouldn’t want anything too big. Maybe 2 bedrooms. One for an actual bedroom, and the other could be a library/ music room, where I could show all my records, books, and CDs. Have a big comfy couch, like a loveseat, where I could curl on with a good book and listen to some music. No TV. No internet. I can shut myself away from the world, and just escape.
Kitchen wise, it doesn’t need much. I’d like enough room to have things like an Air Frier, a Microwave, and a nice coffee machine. Plenty of cupboard space for mugs and snacks. And plenty of freezer space, so that I could bulk prep more food, and save money.
I’d like a back garden, where I could have a wee vegetable patch. Grow my own potatoes, carrots, and other veggies. Have a flower bed, where I could just have some wild flowers, to get some insects. A wee table and chair, so that I can sit outside on a nice day. Space to have a whirligig or washing line, to dry laundry on a nice day.
It would also have enough space in the front for a driveway, so that I’d have room to park a car. As it is a big factor for me not purchasing a car, as my current street is a a little low on space. Maybe get one of those American style post boxes in my garden, as I struggle to reach down to pick up post sometimes.
As for the where. I like small town life. I’d maybe travel further North, if I had the choice. Maybe a small town around Inverness? But, I wouldn’t be too disappointed to stay in Fife. I like being close to the coast, where I can go for a walk and smell the sea air.
Overall, I am not fussy. I would like a space for myself, a place to be entirely myself, to enjoy what I love.
My friend was gifted tickets to Knockhill Racing Circuit last weekend, for the annual visit of the British Touring Car Championship (BTCC). I have only been to the Touring Cars a few times, and the last time was years ago. As I have got older, I am finding myself getting more interested in various types motorsport. And this year I have been watching more of the Touring Cars, so I was pretty happy to get a chance to attend the Sunday of the weekend, which is the main race day.
Earlier in the week, the weather forecast was looking a little unsettled, but when the day rolled around it was sunshine all the way. Luckily, I remembered to put on Factor 50 suncream before I left the house. And so I was fine, whilst it looks like most people I saw were a bit too red. It is rare that I have such foresight to prepare like that, but I was happy that I was. I found the merch stall, and there was lots of cut price merchandise for both BTCC and formula 1. I couldn’t find anything I could settle on, so I never bought anything. Motorsport merch can be very expensive, and I really didn’t want to shell out any money for something that I wasn’t quite sure of.
The tickets that we had were VIP for weekend sponsors, Lokring. This was a super cool experience, something that I haven’t had before at any sports event. We got in, and went to their VIP area which had breakfast rolls, soft drinks, snacks, and coffee. It was really nice and relaxed. Once checked in and fed, we went to watch the racing. The events racing at Knockhill over the weekend were The Vertu Mini Challenge, Porsche Carrera Cup, FIA F4 championship, and the British Touring Cars.
Porsche Carrera cup.
Ella Lloyd driving for McLaren in F4
Thomas Ingram, BTTC, currently 2025 championship leader
In between races, we walked to get some lunch and some cans of beer. It was great fun. And there was also times for meeting drivers, and collecting autographs. Me and my friend left it a little late and missed most of the session. But we did meet Gordon Sneddon, who is from Dalgety Bay and won the BTTC title three previous times. He is also heavily linked to Knockhill, with it being his local racetrack. It was pretty cool.
It was a really fun day, but I am not used to being in the sun all day, so was exhausted by the end of the day. As soon as we were leaving I was like “I need to go next year’, but there is a problem. BTCC weekend is earlier in August for 2026. This means that it is on the same weekend as Rebellion Festival down in Blackpool. A punk festival that I planned to attend this year, but hesitated so long, that the tickets sold out. It is very annoying. Why is everything always at the same time?
Me and the internet currently have a love/hate relationship. I used to call myself an internet addict, and found I thrived in the digital world, That is no longer the case. As people’s dependency on social media and mobile phone applications increases, people get brave. Or, they act brave, which is easy when you wear a mask of anonymity to hide yourself from any accountability. Sometimes, every comment that you put online is subject to negativity and anger. Something, that I have never understood, as most of my experience of doing things online have been positive experiences.
It is why I am taking more time away from social media and such things. The world exists outside of the internet, and it always will. The internet has done some awesome things. It is so much easier to find music you want to listen to, or the answers to any question you may have. I think the 2010s were peak internet, where everything felt so much more accessible. That our world was getting smaller.
That has changed a bit. People are realising that the albums, book, and games, that they purchase are only digital licenses to access the material. And, the material itself can be removed by online stores at any point. We had a time where movies, such as 28 Days Later and Dogma, were available in physical media only, and even then, the DVDs were no longer in print. So, the movies were not available on the standard market. Flappy Bird, that popular viral game from 2013, which was removed by 2014, and no longer available for downloading. The game stopped updating and eventually stopped working.
This whole scenario is leading people back to more legacy media, DVDs, CDs, vinyl albums, and paperback books. People want to own the items they spend their hard earned cash on. Especially when streaming platforms are known for having poor royalty schemes for music artists, so an artist does get more from a physical purchase. I can’t tell you the last time I bought a DVD or Blu-ray, but I do frequently buy books, CDs, and vinyl. I never really moved away from it. I mean, I pay for Apple Music, but I will always buy the physical albums of bands I like.
Digital is still handy. I am always watching some point of the Gilmore Girls, and I like having that on my devices to watch whenever I need to relax. But then, I watch more YouTube creators over anything else. Motorsport, football, ‘slice of life’, theme parks, and various video essays. I watch a variety of content, but it is this wide variety that keeps me tuned. I find myself cancelling more and more streaming options.
I guess, I am one of the people, who did love having everything online. But, especially as things become more oppressive against creatives, though AI initiatives or trolls in the comment section, I find myself wanting to disconnect more. This is why I think that this year has been one of the more challenging years, when doing things such as keeping a blog active. Sometimes, I think having a break from things will help. But, it honestly doesn’t.
Online spaces, which became a comfort for many whose real life was unbearable, is now longer a place of comfort. In fact, for many, the internet is worse than reality. Which is why it is important to have hobbies outside. Sport, crafting, anything that gets you to ignore your phone and social media. It’ll still be there when you get back.
Imagining your life in an alternate universe is like saying, what would you change in your life?
I try to tell myself that I don’t need to change nothing. Every is fine. When, in reality, I think everybody has complaints about life, on plans that never went their way. It’s normal, but most of us just make do.
I don’t think I’d want much. I’d have my own house, one with a library room, and a music room. A garden with a lovely flower bed at one side, and a vegetable patch at the other. I’d have a TV, with every subscription I’d ever need, to watch all the sports I want.
I’d have a job I loved. Something where I could utilise my creativity. It would be good to have something to do with books, or football, or motorsport, or music. One of those jobs where I could say ‘when you love your job, you never work’. I’d have the follow-through to make it actually work.
I’d go to the gym multiple times a week, and run. Take pride in running before a day of work. I’d be on top of my health, mental and physical. I’d actually see the point, see value in myself.
It’s pretty sad reading, really. I don’t want to be rich. I just would like to be happy. And functional.
I don’t know if it’s my age, but so much stuff gets on my nerves these days. I have such a short fuse for so many things. To be honest, most of them are highly trivial, and they are just another reason for complaining. We Scottish people love to complain a lot, and it can be about anything.
The big thing that bothers me is rudeness. Treating other people poorly for no reason is just not nice. A lot of the time, people are rude because they think the other person is ‘lower’ than them. Folk can be very judgemental, which is an automatic thing for most people. Some people use that judgement to try and knock down others. And normally it is based on nothing that other party has actually done.
I try to treat everyone with kindness, just because that is what I appreciate, myself.
My stress levels have only just about recovered from Sunday’s race. 75 years ago the first drivers championship, and the start of formula 1 occurred at Silverstone. It is a track I have always wanted to attend, but it is one of the most expensive circuits on the Formula 1 calendar, so it hasn’t happened.
The internet was alive with nonsense after the race, so I thought I’d bide my time before sharing my thoughts on the events. So how did it go, let’s run our way to the podium.
Franco Colapinto -DNS
Poor Franco. He was pulled in to replace Jack Doohan for the Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix back in May, and has had 6 races. He has found the learning curve awful steep, and has struggled. He crashed in qualifying, and due to repairs was going to start from the pit lane. Unfortunately, as reported from Sky Sport’s Ted Kravitz, Franco’s car jammed in second gear, and he couldn’t start the race. I just hope he gets more opportunity to show what he can do.
Liam Lawson- DNF
Liam has had much better luck since his swap over to Racing Bulls earlier this season. He seems comfortable in the car, and has pulled results out the bag. I think he seems to be a very pedal to the metal kind of driver, and that didn’t really work in the Silverstone conditions. That’s the Great British weather for you. He hit Esteban Ocon during lap 1 and crashed out. Luckily he is okay,
Gabriel Bortoleto- DNF
Gabi is another rookie who had a spin out onto the gravel. He had such a great result in Austria, he is bound to be disappointed. He did manage to keep the car going, but shed some debris and had to retire. He did try.
Isack Hadjar- DNF
Isack has been having some tremendous results in his rookie year, and he is quickly becoming one of my favourite drivers on the grid. Unfortunately, he was bothered by the rain, and poor visability, and bumped into the back of Kimi Antonelli, and then spun his Racing Bull out into the barriers at a high speed. Luckily he was okay. Footage showed that Isack couldn’t see the lights of the car in front, until it was too late. Shows how treacherous wet conditions can be.
Kimi Antonelli- DNF
Kimi has been flying during some parts of this season, unfortunately the damage caused by being hit by Isack Hadjar was too much to keep going. Kimi had qualified in 7th place, but had to serve a 3-place penalty. A poor end to what was such a promising weekend.
Yuki Tsunoda- 15th
Yuki has been struggling since taking the second Red Bull seat. This weekend looked a little promising for him, with him narrowly missing Q3 on Saturday, and qualifying p12. His race fell apart after an incident with Oli Bearman, which was escalated to the stewards. Yuki was served with a 10 second penalty, which left him at the back of race.
Charles Leclerc- 14th
Poor Charles. Someone has cursed the poor guy. Ferrari tactics left him way down in the field, and he ran off complaining about water getting in his helmet, and that he couldn’t see. In Charles’ post-race interviews, he looked so sad and defeated. I personally wanted to give him a hug.
Esteban Ocon-13th
Despite being involved in an accident in lap 1 with Liam Lawson, Esteban battled on. The race appeared to be a struggle for him, but he kept going. Post-race he mentioned that he thought he deserved to be in the points, but sometimes it doesn’t work that way. A shame after grabbing some points the last few races.
Carlos Sainz- 12th
Since moving to Williams this season, Carlos has been struggling quite a bit. Almost like whoever cursed Charles, cursed him too. Carlos was further up the runnings, but as the track dried, and other car’s traction improved, he fell down the pack. He was, understandably, very frustrated at not being very competitive. Now in the second half of the season, he will be hoping things settle soon.
Oli Bearman- 11th
The last rookie standing, on his home race. That is something that is commendable. He did get a few scares, but kept his head, and ended up narrowly missing out on points. In a race which took out the other rookies, and caused a few veterans to spin, he did very well to keep it together. Him and, teammate, Esteban’s synchronised spin looked like something out of the ballet.
Esteban Ocon and Oli Bearman in synch
George Russell- 10th
Mercedes tactics did not help George this weekend. He was pitted for slicks a wee bit too early, and he spun off track pretty much straight away. George did get his head down, and achieve a points finish. He would obviously be disappointed, after qualifying 4th, but 1 point is better than none.
Fernando Alonso- 9th
Fernando had a few complaints with the Aston Martin tactics. Asking if they were looking to ‘lose points for fun’. He was very unhappy, but still recovered the best he could, and got some well deserved points.
Alex Albon- 8th
Alex? How did you get here? A very well deserved points haul after three DNFs in a row. It feels like Williams are trying different things with each of their drivers, to the stage that stuff works for one driver, but not the other. Alex is a quality driver, and I really hope he is rewarded with some consistency with car reliability.
Lance Stroll- 7th
I am one of those F1 fans who is willing Lance to get results. He was all the way up in third place, and I was so excited. His ability for driving in the wet should be studied, or maybe he should be given a job driving Alpine’s racing boats. He was doing so so well. But as the track dried, other drivers stared to out-preform him. Like his buddy, Fernando, Lance complained on the radio after the race. Saying it was ‘the worst piece of shit car he’s ever driven’. Don’t beat around the bush or anything. I think Lance had a really good race, even if he doesn’t agree. Double Aston Martin points. Woooo!!!
Pierre Gasly- 6th
I don’t think people talk enough about how much quality Pierre has as a driver. He is class. Had a very decent race, and overtook Lance on the final lap. A very important points haul for him, seeing as Pierre is currently carrying Alpine on his shoulders. Seemed so smiley all weekend, and a very good result.
Max Verstappen- 5th
Red Bull seem to be able to set up for qualifying or the race, but not both. He was pole, and had a fantastic start, safety cars and other incidents compacted the field, and he was taken by Oscar Piastri. He had to avoid a collision when Oscar breaked when the safety car went in, but soon spun out and went down to 10th. He did work his way up, whilst complaining about the car, and did a commendable recovery drive in changeable conditions. His wee thumbs up to Nico Hulkenburg was a lovely thing.
Lewis Hamilton- 4th
Lewis’ start at Ferrari maybe hasn’t been quite as smooth as intended, but this was a quality race for him. He had a few complaints in regards to handling, which caused a few mistakes, but he held it together well. Lewis had been on the podium for each of the last 12 British Grand Prix, and it is sad he lost that run. A great result for him, and hopefully things settle down a bit for him.
Nico Hulkenburg- 3rd
The man of the hour. Driver of the day. After 15 years Nico got his first podium. He benefited from similar tactics as Lance Stroll, except he kept the momentum as the track dried. Nico has been a massively underrated driver in F1, and he just hasn’t had the right car. I believe if he was driving for one of the top field teams, he’d be winning and everything. One of the first people to meet him, was teammate Gabi, who came running over for a hug, and even gave congratulations over the team radio. I was so thrilled for everyone at Stake Sauber, and I hope the party was immense. My driver of the day, by a country mile.
Nico Hulkenburg got his first podium in f1
Oscar Piastri- 2nd
Oscar drove a good race, and controlled it for a large period. The problem is, when the safety car is in, you need to keep the speed consistent enough, it doesn’t cause anyone else problems. Oscar breaked, like he had already during the race, a wee bit too hard, and Max had to swerve to avoid hitting him. It was in plain sight of stewards and cameras, and the telemetrics from the cars was looked at. Oscar got a 10 second penalty for excessive breaking. Which led to him losing a place to Lando. There has been a lot of debate of him on the radio suggesting that if the pitwall thought the punishment was underserved, then tell Lando to slow down so they can switch back, and then race. But Oscar said himself afterwards that it wasn’t going to happen. But if he said nothing, he’d be a pushover, said something, he is a sore loser. There was no winning for him in that situation. To have such a mistake and still get 2nd tells you how McLaren are doing right now. Oscar seemed happier afterwards. Misjudgements happen, mistakes happen, Oscar will learn and move on. Nico also offered him a different perspective of how breaking in that situation can cause a concertina effect further down the line, and easily cause an accident. Which is maybe a perspective the front of the field don’t think about.
Lando Norris- 1st
At the start of the weekend, Lando said he would give all his previous victories up to win at Silverstone. Fortunately for him, all he needed to do was keep calm and drive. Lando is skilled in a wet race, going off previous performances. The build up was huge, Lando sold out the Landostand, full of his fans. His family were in attendance. The points gap between him and Oscar is shrinking. There was pressure, but he delivered. Minimised errors, drove well. Was a very collected drive for Lando. He has learnt from previous mistakes, and the growth shows during events like Silverstone.
Lando Norris and his unmissable Landostand
There was so many discussion points after this Grand Prix, and some fans seemed to go a little too far whilst discussing online. Which is why I thought I’d write here. I thoroughly enjoyed this Grand Prix, and one day I might actually attend.
sueriot.com 