I have always tried to be kind to people, and I hope people can see that. My Gran used to say ‘treat people the way you wish to be treated’, and that is something that I have tried to think about when I interact with people. So, I try to be friendly towards other people, someone that other people can turn to.
When it comes down to it, I just would like to be thought of in a positive manner. Since I was little, I have had this fear that people don’t genuinely like me. That people are nice to my face, but are glad when I leave any situation. As much, as people say that it is not true, I can’t help but believe the nonsense thoughts in my brain. And, in a bid to counter this, I try to be nice all the time, so that people can’t feel negatively about me.
As I get older, I am trying to get myself away from focusing on what other people are thinking about me. Like, get learn how to live for myself, rather than be preoccupied by what other people think of me. It is pretty hard, because the only time where I would do things simply to make myself happy was when I was little, and the only reason to do anything was because you like it. I feel that as I have got older, I became more aware and reactive to what others thought.
Honestly, as much as I’d like to pretend to be above what others think of me, it is still nice to be thought of in a good light.
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